On my plane ride to Bali one month ago, I had a few moments of minor insanity, major paranoia, and full-on anxiety. Sometimes these feelings were felt separately, but most of the time they hit me all rolled into one. I wrote a lot both as I got further and further from China and as I spent the first week or so in Bali; adjusting to my thoughts and emotions. The main topic being the difficulty of being caught between a life I love and a loving life. As much as I had been desperately wanting to get onto the next plane to Helsinki ever since the moment I got back to Beijing. I also tried hard to take advantage of those last few months in that space - living that life. And in the transition between these two chapters, there was a three week adjusting place.
Yes, Bali is one of the best places in the world for someone to be. On many, if not all, accounts. I mean, what other places have stone gods of protection with their black and white fabrics staving off evil around every corner? What other place has people preparing and blessing every inch of the ground you walk on and even the air we breath? But I had a hard time there this round. I guess not all rounds are winners, and even 'paradise' becomes reality at some point. What's more, reality always seems to involve one constant - me - and all the drama I brew up in my mind.
In any event, on the plane from Singapore to Denpasar, I was trying to switch gears and to look at the situation with my glass half full and to meditate on the positive. In my journal I wrote: "The last three years have sucked my spirituality and emotional stability dry. At the expense of growing in other areas, I lost my faith in my individuality and even my faith in myself. I hope to regain these things in Bali. To re-centre and start the next chapter stronger both mentally, physically, and what I feel to be most importantly, spiritually."
However, even when we have great plans that the universe would be crazy not to want to agree with, sometimes it still turns out to be more difficult than it should be. Even when trying to attain righteous goals such as my own - a little hiccup here, and a pothole there makes you wonder if you're doing the right thing. Because 'it' always has other plans. Always.
So even though I was armed with some new books, some fun projects, and a group of great friends to be with, I spent the majority of June alone. Thoughtful and open, yet frustrated and anxious. Even now after having the three weeks there to basically just sit and wait and even more time to adjust and contemplate, I wasn't and am still not sure what that was all about. What the point was. But maybe sometimes times and places and people along the way don't really need a point.
During all that time alone I spent a large portion of it walking, running, sitting, reading, and writing at the ocean side. And thinking of the usual conundrums like: Am I an activist? What is activism? Do I even deserve that title, and if so, can I or do I want to accept it's responsibility?
I started analyzing my dreams for hours after reading Freud, and tried meditating on nothing after reading an essay about everything. I thought of a few new business ideas, and other randoms, including the amazing race - wedding, which I figure I'll have to pitch to HBO when I get the chance.
One particularly memorable moment was when I was walking along one of my favorite surf beaches, Nusa Dua. It is a resort where mostly wealthy Russians and Chinese go. I like it there because there is a great little point break that not many people go to, and I'm only moderately ashamed to say that, it's also cause there is a Starbucks.
It was early and I walked down to the shore. There were mainly workers out on the beach raking garbage and burying it into holes. And as I walked past them to put my toes in the ocean for the first time of the day - normally a beautifully spiritual moment - I stopped and looked down. To this.
And I was disgusted by the local customs of throwing garbage on the roads and into the water systems. Then even more by their ignorant way of burying or burning it. This plastic. It's devastating the environment. Our environment is being devastated! I wanted to scream this to everyone and anyone. How dare they!? Those uneducated people!
Then almost in the same instant as my anger burned the hottest, I started to laugh. Who is the bad guy here? As I stand here doing nothing, with a plastic frappucccino cup in my hand. They say when you point a finger, there are three pointing back at you. Who's worse? The local kid who throws his two cent pop bottle in the river, or the wealthy foreigner traveling thousands of kilometers by plane to buy things they don't need in plastic bottle and for exorbitant prices who adds even more stress and strain to the local environment in their own way? So I sat there for a bit. Thinking of that. I sat there for the day actually. I didn't know what else to do.
Anyways, of course it wasn't all just killing me slowly with my thoughts. I was saved by myself, a few times, by a group whom I like to call Team ANZAC (Australia, New Zealand And Canada). Together we went to a place that truly was paradise. Nusa Lembongan. The full moon there was a sight in itself, let alone the reefs, beaches, locals farming seaweed, etc.
The main industry is seaweed farming on Lembongan Island. Tourism comes a close second but you'd never know it. About 20-30 white faces get dropped onto the island every day, while at the same time approximately the same amount leave.
When the tide goes out, entire villages (any age, any gender, any ability or health condition) heads out to theses posts that can be seen from the beach and cuts away all the seaweed that's grown that day. They fill up their boats and come to shore. From the boats they fill up large buckets and carry them to the fields where they sit for days to dry. Once it's completely dried a farmer sells his seaweed for 1USD per pound. Generally to Jakarta or direct to Japan. The seaweed is used for cosmetics. The farmers and their entire families make from 2 USD to 5 USD per day. And this is where they all live.
Nusa Lembongan was the highlight of my travels this June. Thanks to Cat, we all go to see do and try things no tourist does. Part of what made even more exciting was the ferry ride to get to there. This was the ultimate ghetto ferry, with people puking off the side of the top and it landing on the people below. And then throwing themselves onto the beach when the waves were 5 feet high since that was the only way off.
Lastly, in the midst of it all I was running one night and came across my first surf competition.
Here (in the air above the wave) is the champ.
Yes, Bali is one of the best places in the world for someone to be. On many, if not all, accounts. I mean, what other places have stone gods of protection with their black and white fabrics staving off evil around every corner? What other place has people preparing and blessing every inch of the ground you walk on and even the air we breath? But I had a hard time there this round. I guess not all rounds are winners, and even 'paradise' becomes reality at some point. What's more, reality always seems to involve one constant - me - and all the drama I brew up in my mind.In any event, on the plane from Singapore to Denpasar, I was trying to switch gears and to look at the situation with my glass half full and to meditate on the positive. In my journal I wrote: "The last three years have sucked my spirituality and emotional stability dry. At the expense of growing in other areas, I lost my faith in my individuality and even my faith in myself. I hope to regain these things in Bali. To re-centre and start the next chapter stronger both mentally, physically, and what I feel to be most importantly, spiritually."
However, even when we have great plans that the universe would be crazy not to want to agree with, sometimes it still turns out to be more difficult than it should be. Even when trying to attain righteous goals such as my own - a little hiccup here, and a pothole there makes you wonder if you're doing the right thing. Because 'it' always has other plans. Always.
So even though I was armed with some new books, some fun projects, and a group of great friends to be with, I spent the majority of June alone. Thoughtful and open, yet frustrated and anxious. Even now after having the three weeks there to basically just sit and wait and even more time to adjust and contemplate, I wasn't and am still not sure what that was all about. What the point was. But maybe sometimes times and places and people along the way don't really need a point.
During all that time alone I spent a large portion of it walking, running, sitting, reading, and writing at the ocean side. And thinking of the usual conundrums like: Am I an activist? What is activism? Do I even deserve that title, and if so, can I or do I want to accept it's responsibility? I started analyzing my dreams for hours after reading Freud, and tried meditating on nothing after reading an essay about everything. I thought of a few new business ideas, and other randoms, including the amazing race - wedding, which I figure I'll have to pitch to HBO when I get the chance.
One particularly memorable moment was when I was walking along one of my favorite surf beaches, Nusa Dua. It is a resort where mostly wealthy Russians and Chinese go. I like it there because there is a great little point break that not many people go to, and I'm only moderately ashamed to say that, it's also cause there is a Starbucks.
It was early and I walked down to the shore. There were mainly workers out on the beach raking garbage and burying it into holes. And as I walked past them to put my toes in the ocean for the first time of the day - normally a beautifully spiritual moment - I stopped and looked down. To this.
And I was disgusted by the local customs of throwing garbage on the roads and into the water systems. Then even more by their ignorant way of burying or burning it. This plastic. It's devastating the environment. Our environment is being devastated! I wanted to scream this to everyone and anyone. How dare they!? Those uneducated people!Then almost in the same instant as my anger burned the hottest, I started to laugh. Who is the bad guy here? As I stand here doing nothing, with a plastic frappucccino cup in my hand. They say when you point a finger, there are three pointing back at you. Who's worse? The local kid who throws his two cent pop bottle in the river, or the wealthy foreigner traveling thousands of kilometers by plane to buy things they don't need in plastic bottle and for exorbitant prices who adds even more stress and strain to the local environment in their own way? So I sat there for a bit. Thinking of that. I sat there for the day actually. I didn't know what else to do.
Anyways, of course it wasn't all just killing me slowly with my thoughts. I was saved by myself, a few times, by a group whom I like to call Team ANZAC (Australia, New Zealand And Canada). Together we went to a place that truly was paradise. Nusa Lembongan. The full moon there was a sight in itself, let alone the reefs, beaches, locals farming seaweed, etc.The main industry is seaweed farming on Lembongan Island. Tourism comes a close second but you'd never know it. About 20-30 white faces get dropped onto the island every day, while at the same time approximately the same amount leave.
When the tide goes out, entire villages (any age, any gender, any ability or health condition) heads out to theses posts that can be seen from the beach and cuts away all the seaweed that's grown that day. They fill up their boats and come to shore. From the boats they fill up large buckets and carry them to the fields where they sit for days to dry. Once it's completely dried a farmer sells his seaweed for 1USD per pound. Generally to Jakarta or direct to Japan. The seaweed is used for cosmetics. The farmers and their entire families make from 2 USD to 5 USD per day. And this is where they all live.
Nusa Lembongan was the highlight of my travels this June. Thanks to Cat, we all go to see do and try things no tourist does. Part of what made even more exciting was the ferry ride to get to there. This was the ultimate ghetto ferry, with people puking off the side of the top and it landing on the people below. And then throwing themselves onto the beach when the waves were 5 feet high since that was the only way off. Lastly, in the midst of it all I was running one night and came across my first surf competition. Here (in the air above the wave) is the champ.
Over the next 6 months I will spend one month in one country five times - and in the middle of it all probably go to over 6 other new countries.
Exciting, you say? Tiring, I answer, with a smirk, and a wink.
I've been away from China for over one week now. One week is not long enough for me to have fully absorbed all that I've learned; nor is it long enough for me to have had time to put into practice all that I've absorbed. Three years in a far off land is a long time and I am sure the way the experiences there have molded me will become apparent for some time to come.
Yeah I lived in China for 3 years; and one month does not hold a candle to three years; although one month - as was pointed out to me today - is a long time. A long time to learn things; make judgments; adjust, and more than anything - change. One thing I have learned, and have had to learn to come to terms with is: I am my only constant. And as I've said, home is where my computer is. No home, no support systems, no routine, running is my only form of roots. Well, I guess writing is too. Anyways, for the next three places I go, I've already been to all of them (Bali for June, Finland for July, and Canada for August). But regardless of having been there already, as a traveler and a lover of adventure and learning, I know that one month in one place - whether it my old home or the home of my new family - will still have me changing; ebbing and flowing; resisting and progressing. So before I embark on the next lesson, I want to make some last comments and tell a few final stories.
You know, just take a moment, and reflect.
I will accompany this with some of my favorite pics of the last 3 years of "chaos in opposite world".
To be fair, China taught me a few things I'd like to forget. Namely, asking very personal or rude questions like the first thing with everything is the cost. Or just being a little more bold or rude than I'd like to think I am. I am less caring of others and the environment than I was 3 years ago. I've gotten in the habit of operating more on "me" and my survival. You pick up many a things in these far off lands - and I guess it is inevitable that it isn't ALL good.
Regardless, as I've been decompressing here in Bali and adjusting to the general idea of not being back to China (to live, at least) I've been remembering some conversations and scenarios that for whatever reason seem to have left quite an impression on me. For better or worse. Moreover, I have found things here in Bali I'd forgotten. I have re-found (is that even a word?) things is hadn't even really realized I'd lost. For example, I am on route to reclaiming my emotional intelligence and spirituality - my silence, compassion, and reliance on yoga and meditation. All of these were lost in the noise and pollution of China. I knew this, but I was too busy exploring and trying new things to do much about it. Furthermore, Bali has reminded some of my LOVE of running and my passion for health. But China taught me a lot of great things too. Like understanding and accepting differences. Being able to conceptualize a 5000 year history and how it molds and develops a society, it's people and their language.
Anyways, there are three stories I've found myself telling the foreigners and locals that I've come to meet here in Bali when they ask me to "get down to the knitty-gritty" of China and Chinese people. People in Indonesia, unlike in China, get access to You Tube. And one thing they can't stop asking me is 'is that youtube video of the subways in Beijing real?" Yep, definitely. They push you in, shove you out, scrape you off the wall when the line ends, and don't even think about letting an old lady have your chair. it is man eat man out there. but there are a few other intricacies to the madness. And some of these values and prejudices that I have lived under for three years I am hoping to un-learn during over the next while.
1. Weight story
Not to make excuses for them before I even begin to tell this story, but there is no doubt that China is a very analytical culture: both goal oriented and numbers focused. This can be a strength and a weakness, I suppose. For men, they are analyzed and weighed based on how much money they make. Everything in a successful, 'useful' Chinese man's life is about money. For women, it is how they look. And in an very number oriented society, this comes down most often to weight. A successful woman, regardless of age or height, must weigh less than 60kg. This is enforced even more when one goes shopping and the only sizes for pants in the entire mall are 26, 27, and 28. Otherwise known as Small, Medium, and Large.
When I first arrived to China I was teaching a night class to engineers at a local computer company. We'd often get off topic and talk about whatever they felt like since I knew that was actually more helpful to their confidence in speaking English, and my theory is that it's all about confidence when it comes to learning a new language. They started the usual 20 questions, which in China is more like 3 questions. 1. Are you married? 2. Do you like China? 3. How old are you? Generally they might throw in a 4th. Where are you from? Or 5th. How much money do you make. Either way, these are the top 5 questions, I guess.
On this particular night I was feeling good about myself and therefore even more open than usual. They started chatting with me about marriage and why I wasn't married. They were truly, honestly, quire concerned that their pretty foreign teacher who was obviously smart and funny had not been married at the extremely seasoned age of 27. I took their concern for me as a compliment, so tried to go along with their concern. The answer "I don't want to get married" never satisfies a Chinese person. They do not understand that concept nor can they accept it. So the students on this particular evening were trying to figure it all out for me. Had I been divorced? Did my family have a history of bad luck? Then one girl piped up and asked, "How much do you weigh?"
"I'm not sure", I responded, honestly having not weighed myself for years after learning to trust my body and listen to it. But I kinda did the math and figure I'd give them an answer, "About 61, maybe 62 kg."
The class went silent. The girls in the front row all exchanged glances. Fear and surprise in their eyes. And that was the end of the conversation. It was official. I was too fat for marriage. 163cm and 61kg. Too big. And that was a fact.
2. Privacy story
The Chinese have a very, very different definition of privacy than I. In fact, I know the word in Chinese for 'private' but I have only ever heard it used in the context of 'private enterprise' or describing a 'privately owned store'. I don't think they have a word for boundaries. And if they do, they certainly don't know the meaning of it. This definition, or lack thereof, comes into play in every day conversation (like when the first thing a stranger ask you is how much money you make), to not so frequent events such as the 'salon' (see picture of me getting my under arms waxed with a crowd watching) and the dentist - um, out on the street as usual.
Literally everything is done right out in the open. And no questions are asked of it. As a westerner I think this is easily one of the most difficult things to not only come to grips with but then embrace in China. I don't think I ever embraced it. Any of it. I like my big, expansive, Canadian bubble. I like my large private home with a yard and private car, etc. Not only do I like these things, but I don't deal well without them. I don't like being stared at constantly; asked what I consider to be rude questions (and I know they just play dumb in these instances) or pushed, prodded, bumped and bruised, both mentally and physically, on a daily basis. All in the name of no semblance of privacy. The Communist Party does not believe in secrets. Yeah, right.
Shopping in China can be fun because there are bargains to be found. But as far as trying things on or asking for, heaven forbid, a size larger than a Western XXS, well, just watch the crowds gather. Or almost even more mortifying, the uninvited guests into the change room scenario. I was shopping for a bra in Shanghai recently. Already feeling quite self conscious since every single bra is a size A with padding, I thought I might have better luck in a department store in China's most international city. The store was a foreign (French) brand. With foreign (euro) prices, and, yeah! My size. But they certainly did not have foreign sales ladies. Nor had those sales ladies been taught about foreign privacy.
As I was looking at bras, one sales lady came up beside me and grabbed my breast and firmly sqeezed it. I think I jumped a little and might even have made a squeeking noise in surprise. But my face stayed in firm poker-face mode, and I looked at the woman with a blank expression, waiting for the verdict. "C you are not a D, you are a C." I figured she was wrong but nonetheless decided to try a few on. When I asked where the change room was she pointed to a curtain and then pushed me with her behind it. She not only forced herself into the change room with me but then proceeded to cup my breasts non stop while undressing me and then putting each bra I was trying on for me - even lifting and placing each boob into the perfect place in the bra for me. Apparently I was not capable of that myself. Or maybe their definition of customer service is our definition of molestation?
3. Tattoo story
All women must be thin and beautiful, then get married, have one child, and serve their husbands for eternity. Everyone knows everyone else's business. 'Face' is everything, and the secret to life is appearing as perfect as possible. Tattoos are a mark of imperfection. This is the current reality in China.
The only people back in the 30's in America with tattoos were sailors and jailers - or so I've been told by my grandparents when they saw my first tat. Well, right now, in China, the only women with tattoos are xiaojie, or, prostitutes. They are tattooed by the Mumma, who claims rights on them and the tattoo is meant for all to see who manages them. It just so happens that this specific tat is always on the right hand - and it is more often than not a flower. And who here has a flower tat on their right wrist? Yep, that'd be me.
More often than not I saw this prejudice as an opportunity. From baffling people that I was 29 and unmarried to completely stopping their programming in it's tracks when I explained I was a vegetarian. The only response is a blank blue screen: does not compute, does not compute. beeeeeeeeep. power off.
In the nail and hair salons, many of the girls getting work done instantly connected with me on a jiemei (sister) level - assuming we were cut of the same cloth. To be more blunt - assuming I was, like them, a prostitute (from Russia). This allowed me both an opportunity to practice my Chinese and also to learn a lot - about the sex industry in china as well as about these women as individuals and the choices they are basically forced to make.
Mostly the bolder young girls who are attending University in Beijing also get their nails or hair done in these places now. They, in typical no-respect-for-privacy, are interested at staring at me only one centimeter from my face, and in asking plenty of inappropriate questions while getting their nails done too. A very classic conversation is as follows (I have been a part of this exact dialogue about 20 times):
"Wow, your eyelashes are so long, are they real? Wow! your nose is so tall! Is it real? Are your breasts real? Ah, foreigners are so lucky."
But the funny thing is, they don't mean any of it. I mean, they can't possibly. From here on, the odd very bold uni student, who probably had a foreign boyfriend at some point, or at the very least, would have been brazen enough to try for one, will move on to more interesting and possibly dangerous topics - my tattoos. This conversation, I have taken part in at least 5 times.
First, of course, they ask: "How much?" then, "Did it hurt?" Then I have even heard a few say to me that they want one too but their boyfriend/mum won't allow it.
And again, I'm not buying it. This 'face' this facade.
Becasue when you do not speak the language as your first language, you learn to watch for other things. You learn to rely on body language, facial expressions, etc and that actually becomes what you hear. Not the words.
And so I know what they really mean. They look at me with pity. I have no chance now. I've ruined my chances for a normal life - a perfect life - a life that looks perfect. They look at me like a zoo animal and then a lot like the girls that night in the classroom when I was, oh my god, 61kg. I was not married because I quite obviously was a XiaoJie, a prostitute. Though they are certain I am far too old for that now. So maybe not now but certainly in the past. And therefore, polluted - broken. In fact, the character for wife in Chinese is the character for broken and woman - one on top of the other. I'm as good as broken.
Well, anyways, so, how do you end The Last China Blog?
Maybe a little bit like the way you just get on that next plane.
The way you drag yourself out of bed when the alarm goes off hours before you are ready.
A lot like ripping off a band-aid.
Maybe a little bit like the way you just get on that next plane.
The way you drag yourself out of bed when the alarm goes off hours before you are ready.
A lot like ripping off a band-aid.
As I sit here in one of the twenty or so of Nanjing Xi Lu's Starbuck's, (like the 72nd Ave of New York) I can't help but feel a massive cloud above my head. Maybe I am over dramatizing this, but I feel as if I have been given a death sentence in a way. I am leaving China in a week. I am leaving this place that I have been obsessed with since my first pair of silk jammies with their Chinese bird embroidered on the front at the age of 5. I am leaving this place that has, over the last three years, allowed me to grow into the adult I've always wanted to be: adventurous, bold, thoughtful and caring.
All I can think as I walk through the hutongs, watch the old people do tai chi in the parks, and bargain with the storekeepers at the night market is "Wow, I love this - crap I'm leaving - this place - my home."
I mean, where else can you buy de-feathered whole chickens for sale on the street at 7am?
I really am being too dramatic about the whole thing. Aren't I? After all, I am leaving for something EVEN BETTER! So I guess not as much as it is a death sentence for me. Let's say it is more like I've been told someone close to me who has been sick for sometime only has a week left to live. Like, I know it is for the best. I know... but somehow that logic is overridden by emotion. What I am saying is I feel more heart break than excitement in this moment. Yeah, that is me trying to see the positive in it.
My second last week in China was spent in Shanghai. Albeit not on my own accord but left to the fates (and as is everything - it was a blessing in disguise) of Chinese Trains. After blowing China away with awesomeness, the two crazy McGrew sisters were separated again - and thus, I again became just one crazy McGrew gal, lost in this even crazier country. But, as to be expected, I made due. Even better, I made history.
I went to The World Expo for a day. It was HUGE. And I could easily have come back for the following three days and still not seen everything. And I'm sure all of you out there have hear great and wonderful things about it. But have you actually HEARD about it? (thanks, Alex, for the following pics)
I had returned to Shanghai from the depths of both poverty and natural beauty in China's South West. And to me at first Shanghai seemed so modern - clean and new even - and, dare I say, sophisticated?!
But...then I ran 20 minutes out of town - "Helloooo!", "Laowai!", honking, squatting, a boy peeing in the middle of an intersection, people yelling into their phones on every corner; the smoking in the stores; split pants; general oblivion for privacy or there being other humans around - it all smacked me in the face.... 5km from the city centre. Twenty five minute into my run, I was reminded, as China likes to do to me without an ounce of sympathy (as we might recall, there was a blog post Title Oh, yeah, This is China almost 3 years ago) - that, Oh yeah, I was in China.
Regardless of what they show themselves to the world to be, the Chinese are still Chinese - and they always will be. One of many traits that encompasses their "Chineseness" is the stunning ability to create a façade; a veil of which everyone sees only the outter surface . But I'll be honest with you, I, my friends, have lifted that veil - and it ain't pretty! (nor does it sound or smell good). Ignorance is oh so blissful.
Getting back to the World Expo - Expo 2010. Alex, Erik and I basically did a Pub Crawl of the Pavillions that had booze and no lines...and Erik's GuanXi got us in the back door of both the US and the Finnish Pavillions - which we otherwise would have had to wait two hours in line to see, and, in other words, would not have seen as they would not have fulfilled are booze and no line strict standards.
Erik is trying really hard here to be excited about the Canada pavillion. he's doing a pretty good job for an American, I think. Apparently it had the Cirque du Soleil. Which brought with it a three hour line up. Pass! But not without a picture first....now onto the cheap drinks and no waiting.
The lines were another matter and a good example of Chinese logic and desire to learn about the world. They stand in line for 2+ hours just to get a stamp on their passports. The longer the line for the pavilion, the more desirable of a stamp it is. And so it goes, umbrellas in one hand, passports in the other, chatting and spitting sunflower seeds all to enter and leave within a few minutes. But they can tell their friends about it. I guess it is a blessing we are all different.
Needless to say, based on our strict boozin-no-waitin guidelines, we didn't go in any of the good ones. I didn't get to see the the robot exhibit in the Japanese Pavillion, and the ...uh.... But I did get to drink a few Mojitos at the Cuba pavilion, a 'true' Budweiser at the Czech Paviliion...and the rest is a bit fuzzy.
Regardless of the fuzziness. I felt quite a part of history there. And was particularly happy to see all the Chinese people being properly educated. In fact, I knew full well less than1% of the people I saw that day would ever leave China. Which makes something like the Expo all the more important in Countries like China....even if they are there just to get their passports stamped, I am sure they learned a thing or two - if nothing else that white people can speak chinese - which Erik and I were sure to try to educate the masses about.
Speaking of this, I also got to meet some really cool China geeks while stranded in Shanghai (who knew we could be found outside of Beijing?) and see some great China geek stuff and talk some great China geek talk. Erik took me to a museum in some rogues basement of Communist Party propaganda from the last 70 years with slogans like "strike down the American imperialists" and "Kill them Japs". Yep, I bought all the anti-American sentiment stuff I could find...under the furrowed brown of my American companion. But we made up when I told him I love Budweiser later in the evening (he actually believed me!).
So I arrive back in Beijing today. I take a train that goes 328km/hr. And then I am here for one more week. One last week with what became the love of my life. One last week to close this chapter and allow for the transition into the next. Yeah, it's exciting. But it's scary too.
Oddly enough, much scarier than arriving to this unknown land is leaving it.
What did I come here searching for?
Will I leave having found it?
Will I remember all that this place has taught me?
Will I be able to move on?
All I can think as I walk through the hutongs, watch the old people do tai chi in the parks, and bargain with the storekeepers at the night market is "Wow, I love this - crap I'm leaving - this place - my home."
I mean, where else can you buy de-feathered whole chickens for sale on the street at 7am?
I really am being too dramatic about the whole thing. Aren't I? After all, I am leaving for something EVEN BETTER! So I guess not as much as it is a death sentence for me. Let's say it is more like I've been told someone close to me who has been sick for sometime only has a week left to live. Like, I know it is for the best. I know... but somehow that logic is overridden by emotion. What I am saying is I feel more heart break than excitement in this moment. Yeah, that is me trying to see the positive in it. My second last week in China was spent in Shanghai. Albeit not on my own accord but left to the fates (and as is everything - it was a blessing in disguise) of Chinese Trains. After blowing China away with awesomeness, the two crazy McGrew sisters were separated again - and thus, I again became just one crazy McGrew gal, lost in this even crazier country. But, as to be expected, I made due. Even better, I made history.
I went to The World Expo for a day. It was HUGE. And I could easily have come back for the following three days and still not seen everything. And I'm sure all of you out there have hear great and wonderful things about it. But have you actually HEARD about it? (thanks, Alex, for the following pics)
I had returned to Shanghai from the depths of both poverty and natural beauty in China's South West. And to me at first Shanghai seemed so modern - clean and new even - and, dare I say, sophisticated?!
But...then I ran 20 minutes out of town - "Helloooo!", "Laowai!", honking, squatting, a boy peeing in the middle of an intersection, people yelling into their phones on every corner; the smoking in the stores; split pants; general oblivion for privacy or there being other humans around - it all smacked me in the face.... 5km from the city centre. Twenty five minute into my run, I was reminded, as China likes to do to me without an ounce of sympathy (as we might recall, there was a blog post Title Oh, yeah, This is China almost 3 years ago) - that, Oh yeah, I was in China.
Regardless of what they show themselves to the world to be, the Chinese are still Chinese - and they always will be. One of many traits that encompasses their "Chineseness" is the stunning ability to create a façade; a veil of which everyone sees only the outter surface . But I'll be honest with you, I, my friends, have lifted that veil - and it ain't pretty! (nor does it sound or smell good). Ignorance is oh so blissful.
Getting back to the World Expo - Expo 2010. Alex, Erik and I basically did a Pub Crawl of the Pavillions that had booze and no lines...and Erik's GuanXi got us in the back door of both the US and the Finnish Pavillions - which we otherwise would have had to wait two hours in line to see, and, in other words, would not have seen as they would not have fulfilled are booze and no line strict standards.
Erik is trying really hard here to be excited about the Canada pavillion. he's doing a pretty good job for an American, I think. Apparently it had the Cirque du Soleil. Which brought with it a three hour line up. Pass! But not without a picture first....now onto the cheap drinks and no waiting.
The lines were another matter and a good example of Chinese logic and desire to learn about the world. They stand in line for 2+ hours just to get a stamp on their passports. The longer the line for the pavilion, the more desirable of a stamp it is. And so it goes, umbrellas in one hand, passports in the other, chatting and spitting sunflower seeds all to enter and leave within a few minutes. But they can tell their friends about it. I guess it is a blessing we are all different.Needless to say, based on our strict boozin-no-waitin guidelines, we didn't go in any of the good ones. I didn't get to see the the robot exhibit in the Japanese Pavillion, and the ...uh.... But I did get to drink a few Mojitos at the Cuba pavilion, a 'true' Budweiser at the Czech Paviliion...and the rest is a bit fuzzy.
Regardless of the fuzziness. I felt quite a part of history there. And was particularly happy to see all the Chinese people being properly educated. In fact, I knew full well less than1% of the people I saw that day would ever leave China. Which makes something like the Expo all the more important in Countries like China....even if they are there just to get their passports stamped, I am sure they learned a thing or two - if nothing else that white people can speak chinese - which Erik and I were sure to try to educate the masses about.
Speaking of this, I also got to meet some really cool China geeks while stranded in Shanghai (who knew we could be found outside of Beijing?) and see some great China geek stuff and talk some great China geek talk. Erik took me to a museum in some rogues basement of Communist Party propaganda from the last 70 years with slogans like "strike down the American imperialists" and "Kill them Japs". Yep, I bought all the anti-American sentiment stuff I could find...under the furrowed brown of my American companion. But we made up when I told him I love Budweiser later in the evening (he actually believed me!). So I arrive back in Beijing today. I take a train that goes 328km/hr. And then I am here for one more week. One last week with what became the love of my life. One last week to close this chapter and allow for the transition into the next. Yeah, it's exciting. But it's scary too.
Oddly enough, much scarier than arriving to this unknown land is leaving it.
What did I come here searching for?
Will I leave having found it?
Will I remember all that this place has taught me?
Will I be able to move on?
(Yeah, yeah this is Bonnie's Blog, but afterall, it is MY website - so my comments are in Italics;)
Well we did it, 8 cities in 10 Days! And I survived China...
When people asked me how my trip was the one word to sum it up would have to be "Crazy".
I don't think you can describe the things you do and see to people who have never been until you actually see and do them yourself.
Well we did it, 8 cities in 10 Days! And I survived China...
When people asked me how my trip was the one word to sum it up would have to be "Crazy".
I don't think you can describe the things you do and see to people who have never been until you actually see and do them yourself.
I
first arrived on a Saturday afternoon where Linda met me at the airport
(thank god cause the thought of getting downtown alone was terrifying).
We hit the train and headed downtown Beijing. We cheers'd with some
Bijou and redbull after my long day in Vancouver and 11 hour flight....
I soon learned that "laowai" were able to get away with basically anything. So drinking in public was no big D.
I soon learned that "laowai" were able to get away with basically anything. So drinking in public was no big D.
We
headed to a cool lounge with Linda's friend Shannon, who I also
admire living in China for the last 5 years, and grabbed some drinks
before dinner.
We
then headed to a beautiful lake and a part of town called Houhai where
we met a few of Linda's friends for a "welcome dinner". Got to see my
friend Lincoln as well for a quick bite! Great food and good times. But then I
hit a wall at about 11pm where I had been awake for 24 hours at that
point, so we headed back to the Houtongs hostel and got set up for the
night.
Was up and ready at 6am for a Hike along the Great Wall the next morning! When we arrived after a 3 hour bus ride I was ready to go! (thank you, Extra Jos) We managed a 10 km hike up the stairs of the great wall in about 2 hours. My pace was pretty steady at first but after 1hr 30 of stairs the last 30 mins was a deep deep burn! The great wall was beautiful, I had never seen anything so historically old. We stopped along the way for photos and to buy a $1 tee shirt. While we chatted the whole way seeing as we had a year and a half of catching up to do. The great wall would have to be one of my top highlights of the whole trip. Was a great way to really start off the whole China experience.
We
then headed back downtown and were off to a Kung Fu show that night. It was
beautiful and I would describe it as a mixture of Kung Fu Panda, Break
Dancing and Ninja Assassin, and would compare it to a Cirque de Soleil in
Vegas style. We walked around in the rain afterwards and had some mango and
pineapple on the street.
Didn't find sleeping in china hard even tho the beds were hard, I seemed to be so exhausted at the end of every day. Probably for the best.
Next morning we got up and walked Beijing... We visited a few parks (BeiHai, JiangShan)... beautiful and entertaining!! There were lots of old people there stretching, doing thai-chi, hitting/slapping themselves, dancing to christmas carols, walking backwards, walking their birds in cages around, singing, you name it....all the things linda told me about...but never really comprehending till i was staring it in the face. We visited the bell tower, TianAnMen Square and the forbidden City that afternoon. We grabbed a Starbucks at Linda's favorite spot and then Linda was off to work!
While
she was working for 3 hours i visited a 1600 year old Buddhist temple (YongHeGong). Very cool, lots of great statues, and the strong smell of incense. Met
some cool people from Holland on an exchange for 6 weeks as well. I
walked around the streets afterwards and checked out a few stores.
Stopped for lunch and fortunately found Linda shortly after that. We
headed for a quick mani and trip to the spa! Got a facial/massage for
only $5! The girls there gave me a Chinese name "Mei Ya." (梅雅， meaning strong and beautiful）
We jetted off to the airport and missed our damn flight (thanks to rush hour...at 7pm). So Shannon rescued the day and we crashed with her and changed our flight to the first flight out to Guiyang the next day. The city we landed in after Beijing is considered a small one 300,000 population. We found a great hostel ("presidential suite" we called it) and started exploring the city. The mountains are beautiful in this part of China... very "traditional Asia" or what you would expect in Thailand, Vietnam. (GuiZhou province)
It was in the smaller towns where I started to appreciate the culture, and notice that I was actually in a third world country and could see the poverty all around us. We were definately in a place where people had never seen a white person in their whole lives. And probably will never see one again. We would have people stop as they were walking towards us and with dropped jaws stare at us as we walked past. It was quite a different feeling... having someone watch your every move in a zoo animal kind of way. We would get requests to have our photos taken with locals daily. and little kids running up to us and saying "hello" then giggling and running away.
Visited a local temple via motorcycle taxi after a $1 hair wash.
We headed out to a night market
after that, grabbed some $0.25 beer and walked the streets. So many
sounds, sites, smells, bargaining, and people! Fun times. We bought
some green tea from a local woman that day who grew it, dried it and
sold it herself. photo below:
We
woke up early and took a bus to Asia's tallest Huanggoushu Waterfall
(81m). On the hour and a half bus we passed through some beautiful
scenery, old women and men farming in the lands, planting rice, and
walking on the street with their yacks. Lots of old dilapidated houses
all over.
We
got the the small town the falls were located at and started walking.
On the way the local police pulled over and told us to get in their
car. At first I thought we were getting in trouble... then we realized
the police there are more there to serve and protect the tourists then
the locals. They drove us in their cop van to the falls and gave us a
few tips on the way there. The falls were about a 45 min hike to....
Thankfully I packed smart walking shoes.....not... I had reef sandals
where I tripped on about step 40 of 900 and broke my shoe. Linda had a
entertaining time watching me walk around for almost 2 hours in one
flip flop. Ohhh boy. As we got closer to the falls you could hear the
roar and feel the mist. The waterfall was stunning and is the only
waterfall in the world you can view from all sides. And we made sure we took advantage of that!
Headed back to town after the falls and grabbed some
lunch then off to the train station (for lil' Bonnie's first train ride!) to the next city, Kailie, which was
just a quick stop over where we stayed the night and bought 7 pairs of
socks for 1$ (We kept thinking... should have gotten 14... should have
gotten 14) (In fact I don't think Bonnie slept that night and I am pretty sure she was talking in her sleep saying 14, 14, 14...)
I learned that you find out a lot about a culture on a 4 hour train with them. While I was avoiding being annoyed by the sound of chewing spits, I had the great pleasure of witnessing two women eating chicken feet. One which was sitting next to me, I swear when she bit in and I heard a crunch and got some chicken juice squired on my neck I was gonna hurl! I survived my first train ride of my life, let alone in China... barely. (and I don't think she'll be doing that again).
After staying the night in Kailie we woke up early and caught two bus's to Sanjiang and a 10 hour day of traveling. The roads were in rough condition and Linda advised "it's just better if you don't watch," so I tried to ignore the fact we were going very fast on a windy gravel road with a cliff on one side. The driving there was nuts in the first place, and that was a whole other level... May or may have not hurled at one of the stopped. don't judge! turns out I was actually sick for the rest of the trip... must have been some of those strange fruits we were trying on the side of the streets... or the water. Again we just stayed the night and found about a 1 star cockroach hostel... literally! (but the location, and the price made the cockroaches worth it, right?)
Again we were up early and bussed to Guilin which the world famous Li River ran through. It was a beautiful city but the most catered to tourists. Which, looking back, really made me enjoy the rural areas. Linda picked a hostel for us she saw last time she was in town and we set up our stuff for the last two nights left of my trip. It was nice and great location. In Gulin we had the opportunity to check out some parks and visit a old tunnel of caves. They light up the tour with phony lights to Linda and I felt like we were in Disney Land. Still really beautiful and quite cool... and we we inspired to do some TaiChi in them.
After ditching the worlds slowest
tour group we finished the rest of the caves (aka bat city) in the
dark. In the park we had a man write my chinese name on a fan for $1 in
some beautiful old chinese calligraphy. We motorcycle taxied back
downtown... where I was still not feeling 100% but after a beer sitting
by a lake with two 1600 bagodahs (spelling) Pagodas, and a McDonald's Big Mac (me, rolling my eyes the entire time) I
was feeling almost back to normal! Thankfully Linda "let me" try a few
of the western fast food joints to get some "normal" food in me. We
walked around more and went to a nice restaurant for dinner across
town. While we were there the storm of a century brewed. The loudest
Thunder occurred, which sounded like it was right outside of our door of
the restaurant! The amount of car alarms that were set off after were
nuts. We let the rain let up a bit and walked down what was the biggest
Night market we had been to yet.
On our last day of adventure left, we woke up early (what day DIDN'T we...) and got in a bus with a bunch of other tourists towards the Li River. We dressed for sun... but when we arrived... there was nothing but cold rain and wind. While the 5 of us boarded a small bamboo boat, Linda and I had full hypothermic shakes followed by histerical laughter. The river was gorgeous! and a great way to end the trip.
Hit
the night markets (and the outdoor spa for every asserby to watch the foreigners get waxes and painted) for one last night and bought some gifts for my
friends and family. Repacked and was off to the airport the next
morning... I had 3 flights... one of which was delayed and I missed my
flight home. By that time I had already said goodbye to Linda so I was
on my own. The airline put me up in a hotel for 24 hours till I could
catch the flight the next day. But I would have to say I was in the
oddest position of my life... Stuck in a country where I had NO money,
didn't know the language, had no tv, phone or computer, and was by
myself. I sat in my hotel room with nothing to do. Literally lost in
translation. Finally caught my flight home the following day...
Linda's commentary:
Tea in a bag; duck in a bag; corn in a bag; tongue fruit et al. that made us both sick for a week; giggling hysterically on the train at the hicks and their non-stop eating and cracking of sunflower seeds; laughing until we couldn't breath at the cold and insanity on a boat down the Li river; quoting dumb and dumber, ace ventura and all the oldies of our childhoods; getting to know my little sister as an adult and being prouder of her than I could ever imagine - those were my highlights and memories I pray I never forget.
I think China is taking a big sigh of relief now that the McGrew sisters are separated again.
Our biggest challenge will be topping this one.... here's to at least trying in France next year!
We
then headed to a beautiful lake and a part of town called Houhai where
we met a few of Linda's friends for a "welcome dinner". Got to see my
friend Lincoln as well for a quick bite! Great food and good times. But then I
hit a wall at about 11pm where I had been awake for 24 hours at that
point, so we headed back to the Houtongs hostel and got set up for the
night. Was up and ready at 6am for a Hike along the Great Wall the next morning! When we arrived after a 3 hour bus ride I was ready to go! (thank you, Extra Jos) We managed a 10 km hike up the stairs of the great wall in about 2 hours. My pace was pretty steady at first but after 1hr 30 of stairs the last 30 mins was a deep deep burn! The great wall was beautiful, I had never seen anything so historically old. We stopped along the way for photos and to buy a $1 tee shirt. While we chatted the whole way seeing as we had a year and a half of catching up to do. The great wall would have to be one of my top highlights of the whole trip. Was a great way to really start off the whole China experience.
We
then headed back downtown and were off to a Kung Fu show that night. It was
beautiful and I would describe it as a mixture of Kung Fu Panda, Break
Dancing and Ninja Assassin, and would compare it to a Cirque de Soleil in
Vegas style. We walked around in the rain afterwards and had some mango and
pineapple on the street. Didn't find sleeping in china hard even tho the beds were hard, I seemed to be so exhausted at the end of every day. Probably for the best.
Next morning we got up and walked Beijing... We visited a few parks (BeiHai, JiangShan)... beautiful and entertaining!! There were lots of old people there stretching, doing thai-chi, hitting/slapping themselves, dancing to christmas carols, walking backwards, walking their birds in cages around, singing, you name it....all the things linda told me about...but never really comprehending till i was staring it in the face. We visited the bell tower, TianAnMen Square and the forbidden City that afternoon. We grabbed a Starbucks at Linda's favorite spot and then Linda was off to work!
While
she was working for 3 hours i visited a 1600 year old Buddhist temple (YongHeGong). Very cool, lots of great statues, and the strong smell of incense. Met
some cool people from Holland on an exchange for 6 weeks as well. I
walked around the streets afterwards and checked out a few stores.
Stopped for lunch and fortunately found Linda shortly after that. We
headed for a quick mani and trip to the spa! Got a facial/massage for
only $5! The girls there gave me a Chinese name "Mei Ya." (梅雅， meaning strong and beautiful）We jetted off to the airport and missed our damn flight (thanks to rush hour...at 7pm). So Shannon rescued the day and we crashed with her and changed our flight to the first flight out to Guiyang the next day. The city we landed in after Beijing is considered a small one 300,000 population. We found a great hostel ("presidential suite" we called it) and started exploring the city. The mountains are beautiful in this part of China... very "traditional Asia" or what you would expect in Thailand, Vietnam. (GuiZhou province)
It was in the smaller towns where I started to appreciate the culture, and notice that I was actually in a third world country and could see the poverty all around us. We were definately in a place where people had never seen a white person in their whole lives. And probably will never see one again. We would have people stop as they were walking towards us and with dropped jaws stare at us as we walked past. It was quite a different feeling... having someone watch your every move in a zoo animal kind of way. We would get requests to have our photos taken with locals daily. and little kids running up to us and saying "hello" then giggling and running away.
Visited a local temple via motorcycle taxi after a $1 hair wash.
We headed out to a night market
after that, grabbed some $0.25 beer and walked the streets. So many
sounds, sites, smells, bargaining, and people! Fun times. We bought
some green tea from a local woman that day who grew it, dried it and
sold it herself. photo below:We
woke up early and took a bus to Asia's tallest Huanggoushu Waterfall
(81m). On the hour and a half bus we passed through some beautiful
scenery, old women and men farming in the lands, planting rice, and
walking on the street with their yacks. Lots of old dilapidated houses
all over.Headed back to town after the falls and grabbed some
lunch then off to the train station (for lil' Bonnie's first train ride!) to the next city, Kailie, which was
just a quick stop over where we stayed the night and bought 7 pairs of
socks for 1$ (We kept thinking... should have gotten 14... should have
gotten 14) (In fact I don't think Bonnie slept that night and I am pretty sure she was talking in her sleep saying 14, 14, 14...) I learned that you find out a lot about a culture on a 4 hour train with them. While I was avoiding being annoyed by the sound of chewing spits, I had the great pleasure of witnessing two women eating chicken feet. One which was sitting next to me, I swear when she bit in and I heard a crunch and got some chicken juice squired on my neck I was gonna hurl! I survived my first train ride of my life, let alone in China... barely. (and I don't think she'll be doing that again).
After staying the night in Kailie we woke up early and caught two bus's to Sanjiang and a 10 hour day of traveling. The roads were in rough condition and Linda advised "it's just better if you don't watch," so I tried to ignore the fact we were going very fast on a windy gravel road with a cliff on one side. The driving there was nuts in the first place, and that was a whole other level... May or may have not hurled at one of the stopped. don't judge! turns out I was actually sick for the rest of the trip... must have been some of those strange fruits we were trying on the side of the streets... or the water. Again we just stayed the night and found about a 1 star cockroach hostel... literally! (but the location, and the price made the cockroaches worth it, right?)
Again we were up early and bussed to Guilin which the world famous Li River ran through. It was a beautiful city but the most catered to tourists. Which, looking back, really made me enjoy the rural areas. Linda picked a hostel for us she saw last time she was in town and we set up our stuff for the last two nights left of my trip. It was nice and great location. In Gulin we had the opportunity to check out some parks and visit a old tunnel of caves. They light up the tour with phony lights to Linda and I felt like we were in Disney Land. Still really beautiful and quite cool... and we we inspired to do some TaiChi in them.
After ditching the worlds slowest
tour group we finished the rest of the caves (aka bat city) in the
dark. In the park we had a man write my chinese name on a fan for $1 in
some beautiful old chinese calligraphy. We motorcycle taxied back
downtown... where I was still not feeling 100% but after a beer sitting
by a lake with two 1600 bagodahs (spelling) Pagodas, and a McDonald's Big Mac (me, rolling my eyes the entire time) I
was feeling almost back to normal! Thankfully Linda "let me" try a few
of the western fast food joints to get some "normal" food in me. We
walked around more and went to a nice restaurant for dinner across
town. While we were there the storm of a century brewed. The loudest
Thunder occurred, which sounded like it was right outside of our door of
the restaurant! The amount of car alarms that were set off after were
nuts. We let the rain let up a bit and walked down what was the biggest
Night market we had been to yet. On our last day of adventure left, we woke up early (what day DIDN'T we...) and got in a bus with a bunch of other tourists towards the Li River. We dressed for sun... but when we arrived... there was nothing but cold rain and wind. While the 5 of us boarded a small bamboo boat, Linda and I had full hypothermic shakes followed by histerical laughter. The river was gorgeous! and a great way to end the trip.
Hit
the night markets (and the outdoor spa for every asserby to watch the foreigners get waxes and painted) for one last night and bought some gifts for my
friends and family. Repacked and was off to the airport the next
morning... I had 3 flights... one of which was delayed and I missed my
flight home. By that time I had already said goodbye to Linda so I was
on my own. The airline put me up in a hotel for 24 hours till I could
catch the flight the next day. But I would have to say I was in the
oddest position of my life... Stuck in a country where I had NO money,
didn't know the language, had no tv, phone or computer, and was by
myself. I sat in my hotel room with nothing to do. Literally lost in
translation. Finally caught my flight home the following day...Over
all the trip was great, the cities was beautiful, I tried a lot of new
food, learned some of the language, saw my sister impress the pants off
of everyone with her ability to speak amazing chinese, witnessed a new
culture, quoting Ace Ventura and Nacho Libre like it was nooobody's
business and learned a lot about the Country (that will soon take over the earth). Linda and I have never
gotten along better... and if nothing else we have a friendship now
like never before!
McGrew sisters survived china... CHECK!
(in other words, China survived the Mcgrew sisters)
McGrew sisters survived china... CHECK!
(in other words, China survived the Mcgrew sisters)
Linda's commentary:
Tea in a bag; duck in a bag; corn in a bag; tongue fruit et al. that made us both sick for a week; giggling hysterically on the train at the hicks and their non-stop eating and cracking of sunflower seeds; laughing until we couldn't breath at the cold and insanity on a boat down the Li river; quoting dumb and dumber, ace ventura and all the oldies of our childhoods; getting to know my little sister as an adult and being prouder of her than I could ever imagine - those were my highlights and memories I pray I never forget.
I think China is taking a big sigh of relief now that the McGrew sisters are separated again.
Our biggest challenge will be topping this one.... here's to at least trying in France next year!
