September 2007 Archives

Turning Chi-a-nese oh yes I'm turning Chi-a-nese I really think so!

Especially after just being told that my mom and dad are actually considering maybe coming to visit me in China, I spent some time debating whether or not to post this story on my blog. I think, however (after you get over the initial trauma), it is funny, and it illustrates a few lessons learned. Plus I still have a few months to sell my parents back onto coming here if by chance after reading this they decide it is as crazy here as they had originally thought.

 
First I have to tell you a background event... a prologue shall we say... A few weekends ago I was downtown shopping. It started raining and the roads got really slick. A woman slid on her e-bike into the middle of the intersection only 70m from me. She fell off and her groceries went everywhere. I saw it happen and although I knew she was physically alright, the trouble was her bike was on its side and her belongings were everywhere. In a civilized society, people would stop and get out of their cars; others would come from the sidewalks around; and the lady would be up and on her way in no time. In China, to my shock and horror, the cars began driving around her and over her things. And every single pedestrian walked by without as much as a sideways glance while this poor lady scrambled with a mild limp to get her things, not get hit by a car, and lift her heavy bike up right and head off again. I am embarrassed to say I watched this all happen. If I had known no one was going to help her, I'd have made the 70m trek in the rain and across the busy intersection to do it. But by the time my shock had subsided and I remembered I had just finished saying to someone there must be no word for 'chivalry' in the Chinese dictionary, she was halfway sorted, and it would have taken me just as long to run over to her. So I did nothing. I felt like a jerk for not helping, but more than anything I felt a twinge of hatred for the un-civility I had just witnessed all around me. I vowed to never let that happen again. I learned that day that people in China do not help other people. It is survival of the fittest here. And I vowed then and there to never stand and stare when I could help if I came across someone who needed it, no matter how far away I was from them.

 

Just to break up this long story, here is a pic of me last night on "Moon Festival" night. I love these kabuki cabs and am seriously considering buying one!

On to the event of the day, keeping the prologue in mind....

 

I was walking to the grocery store at about two thirty this afternoon. I had just sent off some packages to you people whom I love. I had taken some money out of the bank and gone to Starbucks. I had a Coffee Frappuccino in my hand and my ipod on, and I was lost in my own thoughts. Life was good. Then I looked up and about 100m ahead of me, a woman looked as though she was being attacked by a guy. I blinked. Yep, he was trying to take her purse! She was screaming. He punched her in the head. He yanked on the purse again. They were only about 50m from me now. I blinked again. What? In broad daylight? On the busiest street in town? Where were the police? Where were the people around to help? Nowhere... it was all on me.

 

I dropped my frappuccino and I pulled my ipod off. I ran to help the lady, who by now was on the sidewalk, being dragged by her purse, crying. She would not let go. He would not let go. I lunged for the guy. "Let go!" I said. And I grabbed her purse. "Let go!" I tried with all my might to rip the purse from this guys hand. I caught the eye of a tall Chinese man behind us and yelled for him to call the police. The guy swung at me and I ducked and he made contact with the woman behind me. I was in the middle of the two of them. She was trying to bite his hand. He was dragging us both now. The guy would not let go of this purse. Then to my surprise out of his mouth came some broken English "OK, my wife....it's ok..my wife"

 

I was already in the middle of what I was going to do next, but I had enough time to hear myself think in the span of less than a second, "he's lying"..... then..... "he is telling the truth".....then.... "now you really deserve this" ...and then I heard myself say "I don't care if she's your fucking wife!"

 

And I wound up and clocked the guy! Square on his jaw! Friggin best punch I'd seen in my life. It knocked his head back a bit, though not like you see in the movies (apparently I've got the aim of Jackie Chan but not the power of Rocky?) He was stunned. She was screaming. I was confused. He was trying to steal his wife's purse? And at the same time I caught the eye of that tall man from before. I yelled again for him to call the police just as another very tall, serene man came behind me. I let go of this bastard after I got this really weird vibe from the two tall guys (Apparently I had him by the shirt) and the screaming lady and her 'husband', still hitting her and dragging her on the ground, moved away from us. So it was just me, and the two tall guys. And I thought to myself.

 

Oh yeah, this is China....

 

Then the one tall guy who I'd yelled at to call the police looked right at me, almost through me said with a CHinese accent, "No police," in a very calm, serene, steady way. Almost so as to hipnotize me. I didn't even bother to look around at the other man at my back.

 

Instead I watched the guy drag his wife away by the hair and purse while I collected my fallen frappuccino, my strewn ipod, and my reality. And I walked away on very shaky legs, trying not to look back at the two tall men, who I was sure by then would have vanished like in the movies anyways. I don't think I breathed for about two minutes after that. Not until I was far enough away and had registered what had just happened. Then a bunch of thoughts came up at once...

"Wow, I just hit a guy."

"I think I would have done it again if I had the chance. Or would I have?"

"Those two tall men were definitely some sort of government agents."

"That poor woman."

"Do you think she is going to get hit even harder now?"

"I want to go home."

"I hope tomorrow I am not in trouble."

"I'm going to cry."

"Dang that was a sweet punch!"

 

As I started breathing again, I also couldn't help but think of a few pieces of advice I had been given by two separate father figures of mine prior to leaving for China. The advice was to keep my opinions to myself in China and not to be myself. I thought this was kinda crap advice to be honest. I mean, I wasn't planning on wearing a "Free Tibet" tshirt or joining any human rights marches. I wasn't planning on being outspoken and insulting anyone on purpose like I do back home. But I hadn't realized where opinions and being myself (As in a fairly strong person) could actually get me into trouble.

 

In this developing nation, it is ok for a man to beat his wife in broad daylight in public. It's normal for people to completely disregard someone who is hurt or needs help. It is part of the 'developing' component. I can't take my culture and put it on them. I can't expect the same things from people here as I do from developed nations. In that sense, sometimes they seem barbaric to me. But it is all part of the growing pains of developing as a nation. No one can wave a magical wand and make the world a great place to be for everyone. I can't even make the world a better place for one poor beaten lady.

 

So what the frick do I do with that experience? I wish I could be a sage and come up with some sort of great wisdom in this moment but I think I am honestly still a bit shaken. A good story to tell the grandkids one day, I guess. Maybe tomorrow when I wake up it will seem like less of a dream and I'll have something more thought provoking to say about it.

I've been around quite a few people and had some experiences lately that have reminded me not only about being thankful, but also the path that I have been on to allow myself to get to feel gratitude every day. (Or at the very least, aspire to!) I dont pretend to sit here on some high horse preaching today about how to be happy. In fact, it's only after a few days like the ones I have had recently - where I have missed my friends like crazy, felt lonely, felt judgmental of my physical appearance, and just wanted to crawl into bed all day and sleep it away - that I am reminded of how to get out of that funk and back on track. So I don't really know why I am writing this then. Maybe I am hoping that someone out there will understand and I wont feel like the only one in the world who thinks like this.

Everyone seems to aspire to be something; to get somewhere, or to have something (usually just 'more'). For me right now, the exercise is in appreciating what I am, where I am and what I have. Practically reprogramming myself from the messages I have been plastered with my entire life. To aspire to this state is fun and difficult and I get excited when I feel like I am almost there because only then can I move on to the next level...only then can I 'roll with oneness'! (my friend's bumper sticker on Maui).

 

Maybe I see it all differently than most. Maybe it is me who has it all backwards. But I have observed lately that I seem a lot happier than the people around me - a lot more satisfied.  I have worked my whole life on making things make sense to me in my head - since that is where I spend most of my time. And the struggle for me right now is to recognize that other people (who may be much older, more 'successful' or 'experienced' than I)  may not have come to the same conclusions as I have. Part of me wants to shake them, smack their face and say "Wake up! Look at all the beauty around you! Look at what you are missing while you sit there thinking only of yourself and your problems!" But the other part of me knows that I have been there before. And I had to get out of that stage on my own terms, based on my own experiences.

Think of it this way. I could have stayed inside today and complained that it was raining. But instead I ventured out, and because of the rain, I saw this beautiful spider web. And better yet, I got to share it with you!

 

Lately I feel like I have been doing a lot of listening. Maybe the people I am around here like to listen to themselves speak because it is a familiar sound and it helps them adapt to a new country with new customs and a new language. I've even listened to myself often lately just talking to talk. But mostly when I listen it is to complaining and I find myself saying to people when they get upset about something or they start complaining or working themselves up about something... "But it's bigger than you." And by that I mean there is more out there than the stupid stuff you are worrying about. But the frustrating thing is I don't think they get it...but it's mostly because they are too busy preoccupied with their anger or fear or disappointment to listen to what I am saying!

For Christ's sake there is more out there than what the food tastes like, how much money you are making, what kind of personal problems you might be having, or what sort of hang ups you might have about yourself. Granted we all struggle with our inner voice and the challenges that living on this planet brings. And some of us have great intentions (like my feminist coworker). But women's rights in America are so much farther ahead than, say, Haiti. So shouldn't we be thankful to have the opportunity to live in America; and furthermore, travel all over the world? THAT's women's rights at it's best...so what about it then? I caught myself thinking how dare she complain about women in America making on average 25% less than their male counterparts, when the woman beside us will make 1000% less than that mopping floors for 18 hours today? And she NEVER had a choice to go to school or do something else.
But it is bigger than that too. I have found that when I can release myself from myself - realize there is such a bigger world out there than me, I free myself from that voice that is judging; from the fears, the hang-ups, the anger and frustration. And during those times I can be me. And I can truly be happy. I wonder if that is what enlightenment is? I don't try to attain any sort of enlightenment. I think the attempt to attain it will block one form the realization of it. But I am aware that it can happen to any one at any point in their life. And that when it happens it is a gift.

I went to a Buddhist temple today. It reminded me to be thankful. It is almost physically painful to me when I sit and think of what I have to be thankful for. I truly become overwhelmed. There are many gods you can pray to for things at this temple. This is a photo of people lighting prayer candles. I felt as I watched others light their candles and bow that I had no desire and no need to pray for anything. And then I thought a bit more about it. You know, kinda thinking I should pray for something while I was there. Not really 'pray' but manifest and just send energy out there about something. I thought, if I could pray for one thing, it would be that every person in the world could at some point realize and understand that all you need to have in life to be happy, is gratitude.



Look, this guy's thankful and happy! He gets it!

Andy is my next door neighbor. He teaches kindergarten and has been doing so in China for over 8 years. He speaks Mandarin, Cantonese, and British English (should they allow that kind fo English to be taught to kindergarteners!!!). Furthermore, he is a big drinker, and a bit of a 'wanker', but we love him nonetheless.
We went out last Sunday night for his bday party. 'We' being the 4 of us who share a floor: Jason, Andy, Thomas (Mexican-American...need I say more?) and I.  The night wasnt too crazy, although Jason managed to break his foot and Andy tried vehemently to buy me a Kabuki cab (So i could ride Jason around) but the guy said no.

I have been having trouble accessing my blog lately...do you think the Chinese government is on to me already?  Not too much to report as of late anyways. This past weekend I got my first "owie" in China, which has made for an entertaining few classes where I have taught the students about 'ouch!' booboo, first aid, band-aid, etc. Who knew the word "ouch" wasn't universal??? I have, in turn, learned a variety of new Chinese words from the experience such as: sho shan (burn), motochu (motorcycle) and jinshu (metal). Yes, that's right, I spastically burned myself on the muffler of the motorbike while getting off of it last weekend. I was excited, ok? I am such as spaz. How is it that I managed an entire winter at a ski resort without seriously injuring myself? Or am I just forgetting something...Steven? In any event, I was due for something. And I am actually thankful it was something like this fairly minor burn and not a crash on the motorbike rendering me with a real injury.

 

Yes I am aware that my legs are ridiculously hairy. There is no where around here to get waxed!!!! I actually finally found a place last night but I might as well have done it myself with the lights off. May require a trip to Shanghai?

The other exciting thing this week was we were given two days off due to an 'emergency evacuation' and told to stay inside with our windows shut and power off....yeah, right. Thank you Typhoon Wipha! It gave me a chance to drink a mickey of Baileys in one morning, get my trip to Beijing planned, have several cat naps, start my new book on Rational Mysticism (you may be thinking that sounds a bit like Jumbo Shrimp?), clean my kitchen for the first time since getting here... (c'mon, that's what boyfriends are for!) and watch Borat again, and again. They were calling for a super-typhoon and it ended up being little less than a typical February storm in Victoria. No trees or power lines were down or anything. Very anticlimactic, but a nice forced respite nonetheless.

This place has some weird sort of mysticism about it. I love it. I took my bike out last Sunday and just rode around for about 5 hours. Getting lost, finding my way, getting lost again and then finding my way again. I stumbled upon some incredibly beautiful things. An example is these Twin Pagodas.

Weird. Have I only been here a week and a half? So much has happened!
I love my job. I teach an average of 4 classes a day. Besides the brutal math classes, I get to teach whatever I want. Today I taught my Overseas Junior 1 class (grade 7ish) the words to Linkin Parks "What I've Done" as per their request. Then I told them it was on the condition I taught them a song I liked the following class. OF COURSE it will be an Opening Axe song. I think we might just learn about music and songs for the rest of the semester. Look at the little buggers working so hard trying to figure out the lyrics before I give them the answers. Try to explain what 'alibi', 'clean slate' and 'uncertainty' are to people who barely understand when I say, "Write this down". I am becoming a good mime.
The other much more exciting thing is Jason made the purchase of the century yesterday. A friggin motor bike that cost less than 100RMB. It is a bit rough and the clutch it brutal but holy crap is it fun. I have always said I would be a Harley girl one day. So no one should be surprised that I am going to get my license here. (Way cheaper and easier than getting a moto license in Canada.) This was what we did this morning between classes...working hard prepping lesson plans! Really though, I had to go buy a chord to hook my computer up to the speakers in class, so I was working. Yes, for you perceptive little things in the audience. This is something you would get arrested for in Canada.

Here are a few pics of shopping events that occurred lately.
The first is me finding Ovaltine. I knew what it was the second I saw it...Ovaltine radar....what would I do without the stuff? I doubt Chinese people drink it but I will drink enough for my whole school this year. I feel like I am five again when I get excited about things like this. What can I say?? I love lamp...I love carpet...I love ovaltine...

One of my favorite things to do while I am meandering around the streets is to look for hilarious English on signs and clothing. Like the 80 year old 4 foot nothing lady with a beat up old rocker shirt that said "Crazy, Seyx, Cool." The best part of the Chenglish (hey, a Chinese guy called it that so it is not as derogatory as it sounds) is it is always spelled weird or mixed up. And the people wearing it never fit what it says. Most Chinese dont even know that the letter 'a' is 'a' and is pronounced 'Ah'. It is as foreign to them as a Chinese street sign is to me. Which makes it all the funnier. Here is a sign I saw last week. Is it just me, or does this make no sense????!!!
  

I am going to start a topic called "Things you'd get arrested for in Canada". It all started on my third day here when I saw a mother, father and two year old child squished onto an electric bicycle, riding in the fast lane to turn left on a red light all without helmets. Then I looked down at a 58% alcohol drink, open in my hand. And just like that, the proverbial light came on above my head.

Smoking here is allowed anywhere and everywhere. I was in the hospital today for acupuncture and the freaking doctor in the room next to me was examining a patient with a cigarette hanging from his mouth!?! Things like that make me laugh. What else can you do about it? So I saw this guy hanging out in a department store at night, chatting up the ladies with a ciggy in his hand and told him I was going to take a pic of him for my blog. As soon as I took the pic he took a big drag, looked at me, blew the smoke towards me and said "no smoking". I think it was the only English he knew.

More to come for sure on this topic. From here on in it will mostly be me doing the things to be arrested for in Canada, I promise.

Oh my. Apparently I should have been the famous singer in the family... not likely! However, I was quite a star at my first KTV experience. Mostly because I was hammered and eating the microphone and ruining it for all the sober, serious singers in the audience... Hilarious! Also I would just like to mention that Chinese guys are fricking amazing dancers. I'd have to say as a race they are the best dancers I have ever seen. After this pic was taken (about 8 hours into drinking) we went over to a foreigner bar. (gay because the Heineken was 40RMB and you might recall I can buy it at the grocery store for 5RMB) As per my tendencies, I made a major b-line to the dance floor and instantly made friends with a few locals dancing it up. It was all fine and good for an hour or so (Hana, the music was fricking amazing and I didnt even have to pretend I was from the bronx!). But at about the same time as the guys I came with decided to leave me to my own devices, some guy who I could barely see (it looked like three guys) started bugging me for my number and my usual line about how my boyfriend was at the bar wasn't working. So I ended up leaving,  getting into a cab, passing out in the cab, and then paying about 3 times more than a cab should have cost me to get home. Sure, take advantage of the drunk white girl.... SO much fun though!

I was able to get a few pics late this week of my school and some of the students I get to teach.
The school has about 4000 students and over 400 support staff. Each class of approximately 30 students has over 6 teachers, all with specialties. From what I am gathering it is considered a very prestigious school and is extremely expensive. This is probably why the teachers here are paid about double that of every other school I applied to. Most of the foreign teachers here have a lot of experience (average 10 years) but I think I just got really lucky getting this job because of my science background. Chalk one point up for the first time I ever used my science degree.

One cool thing they do is morning exercises. Every day at 9:30am, all the students and staff (except the 7 of us lazy foreign teachers who have a get out of jail free card in China called white skin) run for about 1/2 hour. It is crazy to see them all lining up and the music is very marching band-esque. I also got a pic of some primary kids learning how to march outside of my bedroom. It is one of the units they learn in PE, which is another class they all have to do once a day...no wonder there are so few fat Chinese! The pictures are posted on the right.

This pic here is of my Canada 2 Class. They are in grade 11 and all aspire to go to Uni in Canada. I teach them math every day and went on a mild rant about profit and loss yesterday which ended up being really funny. I basically learn the stuff a few minutes before class and a few of them are ahead of me which has become an ongoing joke. They are a really fun age to teach. All of them are fun actually. I dont know how keen I would be to teach much younger than my youngest class (grade 7) but I do like watching the really young kids misbehave and generally have lots of fun in the halls. So maybe I would like that as well.

So my first week as a teacher is over. I like it a lot. I am already feeling a cool connection with many of the older students that I see daily, and I feel like I make a difference in their lives which is totally awesome. Now it is time to play! Off for a big walk into town and then will likely end up meeting with some other teachers at a foreigner bar which apparently has a lot of hot Aussies. I dont think I will be complaining.

Got exploring and ended up buying a kabuki cab to subsidize my drinking habits.
Jokes. I kicked the driver in the teeth and dragged him out of the way so I could get this pic.

Whoop Whoop!
Got a camera tonight and got a little excited. I did a practice pic at the store and got Jason on there stunned. Yes!
It is very late so all I could take pictures of when I got home was my room (all pictures will be available on the right there in the widgets). Not very exciting but you can see the luxury I am living in;) The kitchen is off the sun room there in the back. Cozy... You may notice my bike is all back together after the trip here; however, I still have not built up the guts to take it out into the street full of crazy drivers and even crazier electric bicyclists. I think I need to watch how it is done for a few more days before I venture out.
Let the games begin... hi-yo!

Running Sept 4 2007
   
    Before I jump into the shower I need to try to explain a few thoughts that plagued me during my morning run in the rain. The first is your oneness, thoughts, your Dupreeness, or Lindaness in this case (as in "You me and Dupree"). I remember thinking a lot about this as I cycled-toured around the South Island of New Zealand. I had left for New Zealand running from a few things. I knew that and had accepted this running for what it was. But I mostly had wanted to run from myself; and run from my thoughts. However, that did not happen. Instead, I went to a place where I needed to live in my own thoughts more than ever; having not planned anything and only bringing my bike, a tent, and a sleeping bag (oh, and my visa card). It was kindof a cool opportunity to get to know myself; to observe my reactions and to try to learn how to live in my head. Not an easy thing to do, and believe me I spent quite a while try to counter that before accepting it. That's a lie. I still try to get out of my head all the time.

    The last few days in China have been scary and fun. But as I explore, meet new people, start a new job and learn a new language, there is one constant. Me. I still have the same thoughts as I ever did. I still have the same desires and values. I still wake up in the morning and go for a run or practice yoga with an intense inability to focus on it in the moment and do an entire Asana practice without stopping for some reason. I still constantly want to improve at whatever I am currently obsessing about. I still live with the memories that I will take with me everywhere I go (my current favorite is when Hana and I pretended we were from the Bronx at a bar on Maui to try to get the DJ to play some hip hop). So really, yes I am here and in a new country doing all these new things, but to me nothing has really changed. I am still living in my thoughts, struggling with learning what I am here to learn in this life, and all the while trying to help others in some way.
   
    The other thing I thought of quite a lot during my run was running. That is, the physical act of running, and how lucky I am to be able to do it. I remember thinking about this quite often as I would head out for runs in Victoria. Down in the harbor, right next to the 'needle exchange.' I would leave my house with a new lease on life...it was a new day. I would begin to run up the hill, passing beggers, drunks, prostitutes, and the unwanted. They were all hurting and starving, and here I was living in such luxury that I have to run for an hour every morning so I don't get fat because I have so much access to so much food and time to relax. Today while I was out running in the pouring rain through an old Chinese park, my thoughts were similar. Where my school is there are quite a few factories. Pfizer is one of them...don't they make viagara? I digress.  There are six lanes on the street in front of my house. 4 for cars and one on each side for bicycles. Thousands of people rode by me today on their way to work. Today they will make around $5CN. More than likely they will not have had any breakfast, and they likely didn't have a shower with clean water this morning. And here I am running around trying to burn off calories because I have too much. (that's not the only reason why I run, but it has become a lifestyle thing for me as much as a spiritual practice). There is obviously a global problem here. But what do I do about it? What can I, as a well educated, aware, Canadian woman, do to bridge this massive chasm between the world's wealthy and the world's poor, while at the same time not being a socialist goofball?

    Well, I don't have an answer yet. Maybe I will need a few more hours on the pavement for that one...or more likely a few more lifetimes. But until then I guess all I can do is be thankful for my healthy knees, legs, body and soul and trust that the factory workers that pass me in the morning here, and the bums who I pass in the morning in Victoria also have things to be thankful for.  

Night markets Sept 3 2007



    Just got back from my first experience out at the night markets. Soaked and tired.  A new foreign teacher from Vancouver came on board today, and it is pretty obvious that him and I are going to be partners in crime. Lotsa drinking, lotsa exploring, lotsa trouble making with the locals. Tonight we went out tonight with a Chinese friend of "Jason's" and hit up the local markets where things are DIRT cheap...try a dozen dumplings for 1RMB (15 cents!). It was crazy and hard to explain, So many sights, sounds, smells all at once. Lets just say everything here is just like you see on tv but a thousand times more intense.



    Today was my first day teaching. I ended the day feeling high and had a lot of fun with my students in every class. There is one class, my Canadian Uni. prep. grade 11 math class, who got a little unruly when it was quite obvious I had not prepared a lesson and was just flying through the first chapter of the book to make sure they were up to speed. That is the class I have every day of the week (most of the classes I teach are only 2 days a week) and I know they are way smarter than me and I will have to come prepared to every class or risk being taken over by them. Mondays I teach 9 hours in a row with a half hour lunch break. I like getting the worst day out of the way right away though. My throat is so sore from talking too much. Math is so boring I even find myself nodding off at my own voice. I have to try to incorporate some games or something for my own sake, but have only just gotten the internet. so tomorrow I will be searching for some fun math lesson plans online. The rest of my classes (science, physics and oral enrichment) are easy to wing and make up games and ideas 20 minutes before class.  
    I will get a camera soon. There are so many things I have seen in only 3 days that cannot be explained. I have seen, heard and smelled some of the craziest things in my life here in such a short time. I cant image how it will all come together in the end.
    One last thing. Got a little smashed at dinner tonight on 58% Chinese "wine'. Only had two shots and thought I might die from burning a hole in my stomach after the second one. 500ml of it cost 4RMB. That is about one cent per drink. And it only takes two to get drunk. How brilliant would that stuff be to market to university students in Canada!?! Say good bye to Lucky Lager.

Price of things Sept 2 2007

    I met another math teacher in the cafeteria today. He is from here but speaks English VERY well and had just recently came back from Halifax! Anyways, he reminded me to tell you about money here. Basically an RBM is 7 times less than a Canadian dollar. So for example 700RBM is CN100.  I have to say I may just become an even bigger Heineken fan while I am here. I saw Heiney for sale for 5RBM each at the grocery store! I could have 7 for the price of one in Canada! Also, as proof to myself that I have every reason to quit drinking coffee once and for all here (have had a headache for 3 days now but still no coffee!) an espresso is 15RBMs. Imagine if a coffee cost three times as much as a beer back home? I can just hear my dad now ....mmmmmm....beer.....all the more reason to drink it!
    The theory is that the locals don't drink coffee anyways so it is 'special price' for the waiguo ren (foreigners).

Day 1 - Sept 1 2007

    Wow. I feel like I might have just aged a few years. Today was one of the longer days of my life. Party because of the jet lag; partly because I cannot communicate with anyone and feel like a one year old; and partly because I went on a mini adventure and survived! It all really started at about 8am after I had been awake for over 3 hours, had already walked around to find no one, nothing, and no way of finding anything I needed, came back to my room (which is really nice, btw...all brand new furniture, a cool sun room for a kitchen, and in house laundry) with my tail between my legs and feeling completely helpless. So, very uncharacteristically, I started to cry. I think it will be the first on many culture shock moments. A great character builder? It's a good thing I have been working on a book on coping, cause I used a lot of my little tricks today. All day today I kept waivering between 'this was a dumb idea' and 'this is amazing, I am living in China!' I can pretty much guarantee I would never live here long term, mainly due to the communication issues and also people are just different here. I don't want to say they are rude or terrible because they aren't. It just kinda seems that way because they are not boring, proper, overly polite Canadians ...and every culture values different things and the environment is different, etc. I digress...
   
    Culture shock and all, I climbed back into bed, thinking maybe I could just sleep the day away but was awoken by a sound outside my door... English??? I practically threw open the door and came face to face with three other, tall nosed, white faced, native English speakers! Alas, I wouldn't be lonely for the rest of my life! It turns out there are 7 of us crazy foreign teachers. Two Canadians, three (twitch) Americans, and two Brits. I have been blessed with a British boy in the room beside me who just so happens to have lived in China for 12 years so I hope he will want to go on some adventures and be our guide. The only bummer is, so far, none of the foreign teachers seem like people I'd want to spend more than 10 minutes talking with, except two 20 something American girls from Virginia but they are best friends and live together off campus and threes a croud...or so they say...so we'll see.
It turns out I am the only one who is teaching a subject (everyone else is basically teaching kindergarten to grade 3 english). And I got my class schedule today and OMS (Oh my shit) I feel like the balance of these kids' lives is in my hands and I have no idea what I am doing!! Turns out I am teaching a bit of oral English (which is like home EC...a joke and no prep or tests required) a bit of grade 7 and 8 science (which will be mostly vocabulary and maybe a few field trips??? I am working on it) and then grade 7, 8, 10, and 11 math. Booourns! Now, grade 7 and 8 math is no big deal. But then there is Canada prep math 10. This is for students who enroll into this school specifically for an education to prepare them to attend Uni in Canada. So they are pretty hard workers and will probably know more math than I do (oh god,,,what is the quadratic equation again?) But the absolute drama of the whole thing will be my grade 11 "Cambridge Prep" class. That is right. 5 days a week, I get to teach grade 11 students math so that they will write some sort of important test to determine their future. (A levels??? Are those important?) I have ONE text book for the entire span of grade 7s to 11s and better yet, none of them have a text book so mine is The Word. I purposely forgot highschool math the second I wrote the provincial exams...guess there will never be a better time to crack the books and start remembering it again.
Anyways, I have no camera yet because I went to buy one (the adventure part which I will tell you a bit about) but they were all a hellofa lot more money than I was expecting. So it will be a few weeks before I get some pics up. But until then I will make up for it with more verbiage. (I know, not nearly as exciting and I am sure my mum is the only one still reading this far).

    The adventure.....I left the gates of my 5 star hotel/private school today. Wow, big deal. Someone from the school drove me downtown and took me into the bank and practically held my hand through all of it. I would say maybe 2% of Chinese speak English as a foreign language ( I wonder what the real stat is?). So needless to say, bank tellers, salesmen, and bus drivers do not understand me. And I sure as hell do not understand them right now.  But the adventure began when she dropped me off at the 'market' and briefly tod me how to get back when I was done. I really wish we had the technology to pass smells over the internet. The combination of weird, horrible smells I had never experienced, hot, humid air, and a culture that pay no head to lineups, had my head spinning in a matter of minutes. Sensory overload!

    I ended up buying oranges, plums, rice, cleaner (I have no idea what it does but there is a sparkling sink on it so it must be good) an iron, and laundry detergent. Now, without pictures or video I cant really begin to describe to you why I am so proud of myself for managing to get those things. Lets just say I was not buying  the 'when in Rome' philosophy while I walked around watching people gut live fish and put the guts into a bag for people to take home and fry, or when I recognized maybe 5% of the vegetables in the produce section and it turns out I didn't do something properly when I went to buy the bell peppers and they confiscated them from me. (huh?). The bus ride back was equally as much of an adventure. I was to the point where the next person who brushed up against me or bumped into without saying sorry (how dare they;)!?) was going to get a bag of oranges to the head. Also...the staring thing. Yeah, they said people would stare at me a lot. And they were right. I'll just say this though, I can tell the difference between someone staring at me to undress me with their eyes, and someone staring at me because I am an exotic looking woman to them who they are just curious about. I'd much rather get starred at in China any day.  

Leaving Canada - Aug 30 2007

       As I sit in the international terminal of YVR, already incapable of understanding any conversations around me, I attempt to put on a brave face and not be disappointed that not a single person came to see me off at the airport. (Yes, this is a guilt trip!). So I take solace in all things Canadian around me - taking my last few breaths of cool, fresh air; a last look at my emails on my blackberry; and the last sip of that Tim Horton's coffee. Still tired and bruised from taking my bike apart the night before ("rent a boyfriend" would be a great business idea), I am happy to be wearing the outfit I had planned on for the last two weeks: "Roots Canada Since 1973" tshirt, "Roots Staff" sweatshirt, lululemon yoga pants, and Newbalance runners. (The runners were a last minute effort to make space and save weight in my bike box). Sigh. I am proud to be Canadian - but mostly bored of it.
     This is my first blog and I am actually feeling a bit modest about it (I know... little old me?) It just seems weird. Like, as if  I would assume my life is exciting or cool enough for people to actually want to read about it? I can't imagine how much confidence authors must have. Maybe their desire to write and get their stories told overrides the weird uneasy 'will anyone even read this crap?' thoughts.
    My intentions will be to entertain you all, my 'readers' (hmmm... I kinda like the sounds of that) at the same time as keep a diary or journal of my travels. This will likely mean a lot of blethering (a new word I picked up from a Scottish darling), some typical philosophical musings, and good old storytelling. I really have no idea what I am doing just yet from a technological standpoint. So as I learn this html/xml language (or maybe outsource a Chinese computer geek to 'pimp my blog?') I hope it will also get more visually appealing and complex over time.
I hope this first post was as "compelling and rich" as the story of Ling Wang, the giant panda at the San Diego Zoo. And if you don't think that is hilarious, go rent Anchorman and watch it 1000 times and you will suddenly get all my jokes from here on in.