Oh, yeah...this is China

Especially after just being told that my mom and dad are actually considering maybe coming to visit me in China, I spent some time debating whether or not to post this story on my blog. I think, however (after you get over the initial trauma), it is funny, and it illustrates a few lessons learned. Plus I still have a few months to sell my parents back onto coming here if by chance after reading this they decide it is as crazy here as they had originally thought.

 
First I have to tell you a background event... a prologue shall we say... A few weekends ago I was downtown shopping. It started raining and the roads got really slick. A woman slid on her e-bike into the middle of the intersection only 70m from me. She fell off and her groceries went everywhere. I saw it happen and although I knew she was physically alright, the trouble was her bike was on its side and her belongings were everywhere. In a civilized society, people would stop and get out of their cars; others would come from the sidewalks around; and the lady would be up and on her way in no time. In China, to my shock and horror, the cars began driving around her and over her things. And every single pedestrian walked by without as much as a sideways glance while this poor lady scrambled with a mild limp to get her things, not get hit by a car, and lift her heavy bike up right and head off again. I am embarrassed to say I watched this all happen. If I had known no one was going to help her, I'd have made the 70m trek in the rain and across the busy intersection to do it. But by the time my shock had subsided and I remembered I had just finished saying to someone there must be no word for 'chivalry' in the Chinese dictionary, she was halfway sorted, and it would have taken me just as long to run over to her. So I did nothing. I felt like a jerk for not helping, but more than anything I felt a twinge of hatred for the un-civility I had just witnessed all around me. I vowed to never let that happen again. I learned that day that people in China do not help other people. It is survival of the fittest here. And I vowed then and there to never stand and stare when I could help if I came across someone who needed it, no matter how far away I was from them.

Just to break up this long story, here is a pic of me last night on "Moon Festival" night. I love these kabuki cabs and am seriously considering buying one!

On to the event of the day, keeping the prologue in mind....

I was walking to the grocery store at about two thirty this afternoon. I had just sent off some packages to you people whom I love. I had taken some money out of the bank and gone to Starbucks. I had a Coffee Frappuccino in my hand and my ipod on, and I was lost in my own thoughts. Life was good. Then I looked up and about 100m ahead of me, a woman looked as though she was being attacked by a guy. I blinked. Yep, he was trying to take her purse! She was screaming. He punched her in the head. He yanked on the purse again. They were only about 50m from me now. I blinked again. What? In broad daylight? On the busiest street in town? Where were the police? Where were the people around to help? Nowhere... it was all on me.

I dropped my frappuccino and I pulled my ipod off. I ran to help the lady, who by now was on the sidewalk, being dragged by her purse, crying. She would not let go. He would not let go. I lunged for the guy. "Let go!" I said. And I grabbed her purse. "Let go!" I tried with all my might to rip the purse from this guys hand. I caught the eye of a tall Chinese man behind us and yelled for him to call the police. The guy swung at me and I ducked and he made contact with the woman behind me. I was in the middle of the two of them. She was trying to bite his hand. He was dragging us both now. The guy would not let go of this purse. Then to my surprise out of his mouth came some broken English "OK, my wife....it's ok..my wife"

I was already in the middle of what I was going to do next, but I had enough time to hear myself think in the span of less than a second, "he's lying"..... then..... "he is telling the truth".....then.... "now you really deserve this" ...and then I heard myself say "I don't care if she's your fucking wife!"

And I wound up and clocked the guy! Square on his jaw! Friggin best punch I'd seen in my life. It knocked his head back a bit, though not like you see in the movies (apparently I've got the aim of Jackie Chan but not the power of Rocky?) He was stunned. She was screaming. I was confused. He was trying to steal his wife's purse? And at the same time I caught the eye of that tall man from before. I yelled again for him to call the police just as another very tall, serene man came behind me. I let go of this bastard after I got this really weird vibe from the two tall guys (Apparently I had him by the shirt) and the screaming lady and her 'husband', still hitting her and dragging her on the ground, moved away from us. So it was just me, and the two tall guys. And I thought to myself.

Oh yeah, this is China....

Then the one tall guy who I'd yelled at to call the police looked right at me, almost through me said with a CHinese accent, "No police," in a very calm, serene, steady way. Almost so as to hipnotize me. I didn't even bother to look around at the other man at my back.

Instead I watched the guy drag his wife away by the hair and purse while I collected my fallen frappuccino, my strewn ipod, and my reality. And I walked away on very shaky legs, trying not to look back at the two tall men, who I was sure by then would have vanished like in the movies anyways. I don't think I breathed for about two minutes after that. Not until I was far enough away and had registered what had just happened. Then a bunch of thoughts came up at once...

"Wow, I just hit a guy."

"I think I would have done it again if I had the chance. Or would I have?"

"Those two tall men were definitely some sort of government agents."

"That poor woman."

"Do you think she is going to get hit even harder now?"

"I want to go home."

"I hope tomorrow I am not in trouble."

"I'm going to cry."

"Dang that was a sweet punch!"

As I started breathing again, I also couldn't help but think of a few pieces of advice I had been given by two separate father figures of mine prior to leaving for China. The advice was to keep my opinions to myself in China and not to be myself. I thought this was kinda crap advice to be honest. I mean, I wasn't planning on wearing a "Free Tibet" tshirt or joining any human rights marches. I wasn't planning on being outspoken and insulting anyone on purpose like I do back home. But I hadn't realized where opinions and being myself (As in a fairly strong person) could actually get me into trouble.

In this developing nation, it is ok for a man to beat his wife in broad daylight in public. It's normal for people to completely disregard someone who is hurt or needs help. It is part of the 'developing' component. I can't take my culture and put it on them. I can't expect the same things from people here as I do from developed nations. In that sense, sometimes they seem barbaric to me. But it is all part of the growing pains of developing as a nation. No one can wave a magical wand and make the world a great place to be for everyone. I can't even make the world a better place for one poor beaten lady.

So what the frick do I do with that experience? I wish I could be a sage and come up with some sort of great wisdom in this moment but I think I am honestly still a bit shaken. A good story to tell the grandkids one day, I guess. Maybe tomorrow when I wake up it will seem like less of a dream and I'll have something more thought provoking to say about it.