September 2008 Archives

I've been listening to streaming radio from the Internet lately. CBC radio 3 is my favorite, and while looking for it the other day in my itunes I came across a women's alternative radio station. I turned it on and the song playing stopped me in my tracks. I felt like I'd written the song - and didn't realize anyone else could have. I proceeded to download all of this woman's songs and learn everything I could about her. She is an Indie singer from Sweden and has hardly been singing professionally for a year. But there are a few good videos on youtube. Albeit they're probably homemade.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5LGGOZD7Yz0&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9UxnHhWnZEA&feature=related

Maria Mena. I feel in some way like she's a soul mate. Or at the very least, someone who's lived much of the same path as I have. Specifically, her album called "Apparently Unaffected" blows my mind. Let's just say, we must have a similar relationship history. Ok, maybe we've just both been equally disappointed, (listen to Just Hold Me (attached), Never Mind Me, and He's Hurting Me); and then we seem to have dealt with this pattern of disappointment similarly, (listen to Calm Under the Waves and Boytoy Baby (attached)).

07 Just Hold Me.mp3
04 Boytoy Baby.mp3

A running joke at the cabin this year was how many boyfriends I've had and brought out to the cabin: Remember Mike, oh I mean Neal, oh I mean what's his name... Steve/Scott/Simon... I kinda feel a bit like I need to explain myself. My mum always tells me I need to warn any guy I get involved with that I'll break their heart. But really, my heart's been broken more than theirs in these situations. Namely the relationship where I was pulled in by a karmic energy and had truly found my soul mate - who was married and had kids - need I say more. Or the following love-at-first-sight-mentally-and-spiritually-stimulating -- turned-neglectful-and-condescending boy.

And it's not like the other guys before them aren't great people too. Everything has its advantages or disadvantages; every person has their strengths and weaknesses. I currently chalk this cycle of mine up to just not being able to commit. Or maybe more just not being able to really put forth enough effort to make it work. But a lot of people recently have been telling me it is only because I just haven't met the right guy.

I guess I just always thought eventually I'd find someone whose strengths make up for my weaknesses. Someone strong enough to take care of me and treat me like a woman; but someone who can let go and be themselves and not have to keep their guard up. Someone who does what they say. Someone who likes to do nice things for me without me having to ever ask or say something. Someone who truly believes I am the greatest thing that ever happened to them, and can't get enough of me. And someone who puts me up on a pedestal where I never have to worry about falling from. If that's too much to ask, then yes, I will just continue going through life with one 2-3 year relationship after another; trying to make each one work but then eventually losing patience.

I figure the point of being in a relationship is to improve one another's lives. My life is pretty awesome the way it is now. I am happy, challenged, and secure. It would take someone to make it better for me to want to be in a relationship with them. And is it too much to ask that they want to treat me like a princess????? I know these guys are out there. I've been with them before. They've had other small details I overlooked though...like being married or doing what other tell them to and leaving the country, or being a pot head.

Like Maria the lyrics to "Just Hold Me"
But if I wanted silence, I would whisper
And if I wanted loneliness, I'd choose to go
And if I'd like rejection, I'd audition
And if I didn't love you, You would know


But then, as Maria, I have resorted to seeing relationships and men differently due to a long string of whatever-you-want-to-call-them. Or at the very least I have begun forcing myself to perceive their use in such a way that I don't get hurt anymore.
"Boytoy, Baby"
Tell me am I your baby?
You misunderstand me, just want a piece of your ass
Impress me, afterall I'm a lady
And dude if you bore me, i'll send you back to your wife
You're just a Boytoy Baby
Romance? I don't want no romance
Honey, You can keep all your money
I want you to owe me, It's just a game that I play.


I don't profess to be perfect. I am an OCD-multiple-personality-commitment-phobe, who thinks she deserves to be treated like a queen 24/7. But I mean, I have a lot to offer someone. And now I think to myself: what do they have to offer me?


(I don't think it's too much to expect a guy to do nice things for me like make an amazing home made vase with flowers in it and give it to me on the second date....the first date he made a picnic and took me hiking with his dogs...so cool!)




Based on my 10 year failure of a relationship history, I suppose am going through a bit of a wall-building-phase right now regarding men and relationships. Yeah, I've been ridiculously disappointed by, I'd say at the very least, my last 2 main relationships, which have accounted for the last 4 years. Consequently, I've been living my life ever since, telling myself that I don't need a relationship; that it's not for me; that maybe it's not for everyone. I tell myself, and everyone else that I prefer to live this great, free wheeling spinster life where I can come and go as I please and live for only myself. But my hatred for married people and marriage, and my adamance regarding not ever wanting or needing it, makes me wonder.... You know, we always hate in others what we hate about ourselves. We only feel anger if we know something is true. So there's something going on here.....what is my issue!?!?!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yV3YYV1kpkI


Anyways....
Regardless of my veneer, there are times when I do wish I had someone special or specific to share my life with. This desire seems to appear during two main times in my life: when I'm really happy and excited; and when I am sick or vulnerable. This week I had a migraine. I barely survived Thursday's work day without throwing up on my students from the pain. I couldn't see by the time I stumbled to a cab to get me home at the end of the day. I don't even remember getting into bed. When I woke up several hours later, I had a pill bottle in my hand and there was coffee (a vaso-constricter) spilled everywhere (from me trying to do it all with my eyes closed). Although the physical pain had subsided, I wished so hard in that moment I had someone who was there to take care of me. Someone who would rush home from work with special migraine medicine and a mocha because they know that it is the only thing that makes my migraines go away. Maybe they would rub my temples like my dad used to when I was little and put a cold cloth on my eyes. And they would do all of these things because they wanted to and I wouldn't have to ask. Ultimately I think that's why a lot of people get married (that and they want to have kids/ a family). They want someone to be there for them as they grow older and more vulnerable. It is an inherent desire. Some sort of evolutionary need.

(I have a new family in Wuhan and they had me over for dinner tonight...an aside, yes...but this is my first pic of me in Wuhan so I thought I'd share!)



I really want to know: Why can't men just be nice, funny, smart and loving like me?????
A (male) friend called me from Canada today. I was venting this frustration to him and he said in his great wisdom "For a man to be born a gentleman is pure chance, but for a man to die a gentleman requires hard work and is an achievement."




My current musing and a few conversations I've had with Chinese women lately brings me to a little reflection on relationships in China. Or at the very least, more traditional Chinese relationships; and from the view of an out of the box thinker from the West (that's me). There is a lot to say. I know for certain that Chinese women do not perceive relationships in the same way as Western women. For example, pre-arranged marriages occur here still, but more so in the country-side. My generation here is allowed to persevere marriage for love as opposed to for the opportunities it provides (money, connections, opportunities for others in the family). But it is still expected that they marry another 'family' as opposed to just the person themselves. It is much more complicated here. To top it all off, a sexual revolution is apparent in the younger generation, and now foreigners are in the mix. But there are some significant cross-cultural differences in dating etiquette that exist between Asia and the West; and from my own observations, more specifically China and North America.

(Men here carry their girlfriend's purses everywhere for them. I even saw a couple buying a purse together once and the boyfriend was trying it o to see if he liked it too!)



Marriage in China is very important. And a foreign man represents financial freedom to a woman and her entire family. Many women here learn English to help them get a foreign boyfriend. No matter how average or even well below-average a Western man may be, he can very easily find a relatively attractive Chinese girl to fall in love with him. Mothers in China tell their daughters that a poor foreigner is always better than a rich Chinese. And these foreign men who are dating Chinese women are a far cry form appealing. They couldn't get a pig to kiss them back home. And here, they are treated like god's gift by a beautiful young empress. It's no wonder so many of them stay.

Chinese women think they have to get married. And the majority of them do so primarily for financial security. 

"Although social norms are slowly changing, especially in the big cities as well as among this generation's college students, it would not be unusual to find even a 30-year old virgin in China for--although it doesn't mean very much in the West--virginity at marriage, still to this day, means something in China, very much so. In a study conducted by the Shanghai Academy of Social Sciences, 60% of 500 single men and women between the ages of 20 and 30 years, living in 25 neighborhoods, reported that virginity is a marriage requirement, while only 16.5% claimed that it didn't matter (People's Daily, 2003). For most "good" Chinese girls, an offer of sex is almost always a gesture of good faith in contemplation of marriage." However, many girls are actually eager to sleep with a man on the second or third date (in fact, they are often the ones to initiate it), but for most "good" Chinese girls, an offer of sex is almost always a gesture of good faith in contemplation of marriage. It's intended to be a binding deal-maker and that is how it should be responded to, one way or the other.


Consequently, casual dating, particularly as it exists in the West, is virtually unheard of in China. What we would call a simple second date more often than not is received and understood by most Chinese girls and women as a serious intention in regard to the future of that relationship. When the girl brings a man home to meet her parents, in China, that is symbolically equivalent to a Western announcement of engagement.

(This photo has no significance except for the fact that this guys shirt is so bad that it' good. I just had to share)


From what my students have told me or asked me, kids in their late teens are interested in having sex and getting into relationships. But most of them (claim) they wouldn't dare, since their parents would kill them. And there is far more of a sense of filial piety here. Children respect their elders. They are taken care of by their grandparents and parents their whole childhoods, and once they get a job they turn around and take care of the elders. The family unit is very much still a unit here and it is common place for anyone who is not married, no matter what age, to be living with their parents.

Furthermore, expectations regarding the man's role and the woman's role are still what we might consider in the West as 'old fashioned'. But you know...this works. And as more and more women here are pursuing careers, divorce rates are skyrocketing (see Korea and Taiwan who's are even higher than America's). I mean, who wants to work all day, come home and cook and clean all night, and then have enough energy or time to work on a relationship? 

But as with the economical, political and cultural issues, relationships are also drastically different from cities to the countryside in China.  Many marriages in rural areas are arranged. The lucky ones turn into a 'love pairing'. You must apply through the local government office to get married, at which point you are put though the birth control program. This involves educating the couple (read: woman) on a variety of communist approaches to love and family, sex and abortion. Some of these include but are certainly not limited to: sex is only for reproduction and the enhancement of the family and society; and sexual pleasure seeking is frowned upon; and women in particular are not expected to derive pleasure from sex.

This type of "education" sure keeps the male commies from having to put any effort into a relationship!

The discrepancy between cities and countryside can be especially seen in rural areas where the people are less educated. In these areas, the woman's role and any ounce of respect she might receive are miles away from any stretch of the definition of 'logical'. For example, there is a saying in China: Marrying a woman is like buying a horse: I can ride you and beat you whenever I like. In this regard, there is still a dowry in rural marriages - but they are in a sense a form of bride buying. The grooms family gives money to the couple and they buy things for the brides family. Then the brides family theoretically gets back their investment of raising this girl.  Every 4 minutes a woman in China commits suicide. China is the only country in the world where more women than men commit suicide. Most use pesticides. There is a lot of pressure on a Chinese women to be a mother, a daughter, a wife, a sister; she must maintain a good house, have a perfect body, and in many cases work full time as well....and when does she find time or energy for herself?
 

(A good mum.)


Birth control, etc are certainly not kosher by Western standards (see abortion statistics later on). If you marry and then you find you are pregnant,  you must first apply for a birth permit. And we all know about the one child (turned as-many-children-as-you-can-buy-the-rights-to-or-hide-from-the-government) policy.

And while on the topic of the Western view of 'morality', it seems to me like there is a lot more cheating in marriages in China. But it is solely by the men. And although this cheating may not always involve sex by the traditional definition, it is certainly cheating by any stretch of the imagination.

As another interesting fact relating to my own relationship situation and life, Chinese women are considered "on the shelf" after 24 or 25 years old. But there is a saying "the older cows must feed on the tender reeds", which is a parable dictating that older men should keep girlfriends far younger than themselves, often as second or even third mistresses to their wives in order to preserve their youthful energy. And they will, if they can afford it.



Of the places I have traveled in China, I have noticed a few other things as well.
+There is a lot of play fighting.
+Public displays of displeasure are quite common; public displays of affection are non- existent.
+There's a weird trend of couples wearing matching shirts - or at the very least, the same colour.
+With regards to a new-found sexual revolution, in Wuhan and Shanghai, there are sex shops everywhere. They selling lingerie, condoms, and toys for male pleasure only.... And there are the red light massage parlors....everywhere....
+Although the communist party believes there are no gays in China, I have seen quite a few in Wuhan.
+Girls and guys aren't friends. If you see a girl and a guy together, they are always a couple. But it is very common to see boys hugging and sitting on each others laps. This, however, has no semblance of homosexual activity here.


Moreover, consider some statistics from: http://www.alternet.org/sex/79391/from_prude_to_lewd:_china%27s_new_sexual_revolution/
+In China, the first time a man and woman are likely to kiss is at age 23, according to Pan Sui-ming, director of the Institute of Sexuality and Gender at Renmin University, who says that "Chinese are still some of the most conservative people in the world."
+A hotline for pregnant teens, which was launched in 2005 in Shanghai, handled 11,000 calls its first year - 47 percent of which involved girls having their first abortion, 35 percent having their second and 18 percent having had three or more, according to research by the Washington Post.
+China Daily (the only newspaper here, which is of course run by the communist party) reported that Beijing officially registered 973 new HIV/AIDS cases in the first 10 months of 2007, up 53.71 percent from the previous year. To combat this risky behavior Chinese authorities have implemented sexual education classes in the schools. The problem, however, is that teachers assigned to instruct these courses are often of the older generation and are uncomfortable publicly approaching such a subject.
+A 2007 poll by Renmin University of China found that more than half of the Chinese surveyed in 10 provinces said that premarital sex is okay. Only 12.8 percent said that it was immoral. Among male entrepreneurs, 68 percent said they have multiple sex partners.
+Time Magazine's 2006 article, titled "Sex Please, We're Young and Chinese," noted that, "Some 70 percent of Beijing residents say they have had sexual relations before marriage, compared with just 15.5 percent in 1989."
+The number of Chinese who have access to the Internet has surpassed 200 million, making China second only to the United States, and catching up fast. Interestingly, 63 percent of those polled said they lead double lives online. In another survey, 32 percent of Chinese respondents said the Internet has made their sex lives "more abundant" or "richer" as compared to 11 percent of Americans polled.

(The usual appearance of couples here. A few feet away from eachother physically, and miles away from eachother emotionally.)

I tried finding statistics on divorce in China but it as tough to find anything scholarly. What I know for sure is there may be lower instances of divorce here, but a conservative guestimate is that over a quarter of married couples live in separate cities for 'work'.

We've all heard rumors about the statistics of Chinese men and women and sex in China. Whether it be the size of the average Chinese man, or the complete absence of pleasure from sex in Chinese women. So I did some academic digging to get some real data and see if it 'measures up'.

The following are quotes from "Sexual and relationship satisfaction in mainland China"
Journal of Sex Research,  Fall, 1997  by Cheryl Renaud,  E. Sandra Byers,  Suiming Pan

+Gender Differences
Lawrance and Byers (1995) found that, among a Canadian sample of mostly sexually satisfied married and cohabiting individuals, men and women did not differ in their sexual satisfaction nor in their perceptions of how rewarding/costly their sexual relationship was. In a culture such as that in China, in which more emphasis is placed on the sexual pleasure of men than that of women (Evans, 1995; Pan, 1993a), gender differences may be more apparent. Zhou (1993) found that husbands were more likely than wives to initiate coitus. In addition, whereas the majority of the husbands in this study (97%) experienced ejaculations "every time," only 31% of the wives experienced orgasm "mostly" every time. Although these findings are consistent with a culture in which women are expected to be sexually passive and only men are expected to receive pleasure from sex, further research is needed. Therefore, our second goal was to examine gender differences in the sexual relationships of married
Chinese individuals.

+Sexual Satisfaction and Relationship Satisfaction
Sexual satisfaction is important in the marriages of Chinese men and women. In one study, Pan (1993a) found that married Chinese women and men rated sexual satisfaction as the third and fourth, respectively, most important factors in marital satisfaction. Similarly, 47% of people seeking marital counseling and wanting to divorce gave sexual difficulties as the primary reason. North American research also has shown that characteristics of the overall relationship, such as relationship satisfaction, love, level of intimacy, and the amount of physical affection, are associated with sexual satisfaction (Lawrance & Byers, 1995; Oggins, Leber, & Veroff, 1993). Further, this relationship may be bi-directional (Henderson-King & Veroff, 1994). Therefore, our third goal was to investigate the relationship between sexual and relationship satisfaction in a sample of married Chinese men and women. Although sexual satisfaction per se has rarely been investigated among married Chinese men and women, other measures have been used as indices of sexual satisfaction. As in some North American research, in Chinese research, orgasmic consistency has been used as an index of sexual satisfaction in married Chinese women. Although orgasmic consistency has been shown to be related to sexual satisfaction, the two are conceptually distinct. The relation between orgasmic consistency and sexual satisfaction is complicated by Pan's (1994) findings that 54% of Chinese women experiencing low orgasmic consistency felt this was acceptable and an additional 11% felt their frequency of orgasm was too high.

+The study also found that men on average have more than double the amount of long term sexual partners in China: 4 for men and 1.4 for women....I will digress here to a little known fact. Did you know that New Zealand women are ranked number one in the world for average sexual partners - at almost 14 throughout their lives. And Canadian women averages rank in the top 5 - at 12 partners on average in a lifetime.

+Characteristics of the Relationship
Overall, respondents reported moderate levels of. relationship satisfaction and sexual satisfaction. On a six-point scale ranging from "rarely or never" to "once a day or more," respondents reported moderate frequencies of physical affectionate and sexual behavior. However, a substantial percentage of respondents reported that they rarely or never engaged in physical affection (16%) and/or sex (13%). The average frequency of affectionate behavior (M = 3.3, SD = 1.5) and sexual behavior (M = 3.3, SD = 1.2) corresponded to a rating between "2 or 3 times a month".

+Characteristics of the Sexual Relationship
The current study also provided descriptive data regarding the overall and sexual relationships of married Chinese men and women. The results indicate that married Chinese men and women are generally moderately satisfied with their overall relationship and their sexual relationship with their spouse. They find their sexual relationships to be more rewarding than costly, although both their levels of rewards and costs are moderate. The level of rewards and costs that they incur in their sexual relationship are comparable to their expectations and are considered moderately equal to those of their partners.

Although the frequency of physical affection in the current sample is less than that of a similar Canadian sample of married men and women (Lawrance & Byers, 1995), the frequency of sexual behaviors is comparable to that found in the Canadian sample, as well as the Zhou (1993) sample. Respondents indicated that they engaged in both sexual and affectionate behavior with a similar frequency. Hence it appears that physical affection is mostly expressed within the context of sexual exchange. This may be particularly true of older individuals. In the past, expression of affectionate behavior in public was officially frowned upon and rarely observed. In fact, prior to the early 1980s even holding hands in public was considered to be deviant behavior or a social transgression (Pan, 1989b). Individuals were taught that love should be kept within an individual's heart, rather than expressed overtly through affectionate behavior such as hugging, kissing, and cuddling. This does not mean that Chinese couples do not care about each other. Rather, they may express their caring through looks and body language instead of physical affection. The finding that older individuals reported less frequent affectionate and sexual behavior than did younger individuals suggests that this cultural norm has changed somewhat. In addition, at least in our sample, more frequent physical affection was related to higher relationship satisfaction and higher sexual satisfaction, and younger individuals reported greater sexual satisfaction.

My new Home: Bei Hu Jia Ri, Xin Hua Xia Lu, Wuhan, Hubei, P.R.China!



The Lonely Planet guide states that Wuhan is "one of China's most massive and upbeat cities...a sprawling and gargantuan alloy...with levels of money and modernity that rival Shanghai." I have spent almost the same amount of time in both cities now, and I would say that Wuhan as a whole is much more modern with respect to my personal definition of the word. The people are far more civilized when it comes to foreigners here. They hardly stare at all nor do they yell 'hellooooo!'. The stores have prices on them instead of making you bargain. The CEO for Starbucks is even coming for a special tasting next week, and today I got a special invite from the barista I have a crush on!
(Side note: Wuhan didn't have a single starbucks last year. Now they have 5.... BUY STARBUCKS STOCK!!!)

(This is the view from my hallway)

Furthermore, far more Chinese people speak English here (from I'd say 0.1% in Shanghai to at least 5% in Wuhan). These elements of what I would perceive to be modern not only make me feel more comfortable here, but it also gives the local people an appearance of being more worldly and multicultural. The mass amounts of trade via the Yangtze over the last millennium quite obviously swapped DNA as well as goods. Therefore, Wuhanese people are very visually diverse; they have more facial hair, more muscles (stronger bodies), are taller and fitter looking than any other city I have been to in China. To me, this is modern.  

(the building to the far right is where I live...on the 23rd floor)

Wikipedia notes that "Wuhan has currently attracted about 50 French invested companies, over one third of French investment in China, the most among Chinese cities." And a guy I met while applying for my work visa at the police station told me that there are 6000 expatriates living in Wuhan; of which over half are Japanese and a quarter are French. The population of Wuhan is just over 9 million. Now, although I am not longer a math teacher, I can quickly grasp that the Western expatriate population accounts for less than 1% of Wuhan residents. Yet I haven't really felt out of place here like I did last year.


"Wuhan is a city with both an ancient history and a thriving present. Historic relics excavated from ancient tombs tell the city's long history dating back 3,500 years. In the period of Pre-Qin (770 B.C. - 221 B.C.), this was the land of the State of Chu (one of the seven warring states before Qin, in China's first feudal dynasty) and was the cradle of the brilliant Chu Civilization. Starting here, merchants followed the great Yangtze River and lake network to expand businesses throughout the entire country. In the Qing Dynasty, Hankou became one of the four best-known towns in the country. For centuries, this city has been the center of trade and transportation in central China. Today it is an important hub in central China and a feature of Yangtze River cruises for sightseers and businessmen traveling from Sichuan to Shanghai or Hong Kong."
http://www.travelchinaguide.com/cityguides/wuhan.htm

And look, you can buy shoes for less than $5CDN! (1CDN=7RMB) One of my favorite parts of living in China. Who knew I'd become a shoe girl, let alone enjoy shopping!?

Wuhan is actually a conglomerate of three previously independent cities: Wuchang (to the East of the Yantze); Hankou (to the North of the Han river and West of the Yantze); and Hanyang (to the South of the Han river and the West of the Yantze). Needless to say, there are a lot of ferries, bridges, and water around. "Wuhan is recognized as the political, economic, financial, cultural, educational and transportation center of central China." http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wuhan

I live in the epicenter of this bustling concrete jungle, in Hankou. In fact, I am a block away from the world's 18th largest building. Within my fist 5 days here, I had oriented myself over the course of about 5 hours of jogging, 30 hours of walking, 5 hours in taxi's and 4 hours on the bus. I got an English(ish) map from the Shangri-la, and attempted to see every tourist spot on it. Throughout this plethora of exploration, I managed to get lost so many times that I also must have seen every local highlight as well.


On Saturday I spent the full day in Wuchang, which is where the East Lake is that I posted a rant about, but it also hosts most of the notable sights in city. In addition, most universities and foreigner stores (like Metro) are found on this side of the river.
(side note: the Yangtze is at least a half kilometer across here. It is so daunting and massive. It blows the Columbia and the Fraser Rivers out of the water...so to speak;))

As a tourist in my own town, a notable sight I went to see was Yellow Crane Tower. It used to be a military observation post, and is now considered Wuhan's city symbol. "The Yellow Crane Tower has a very long and complicated history. It was first built in 223, during the Three Kingdoms Period (220 - 280). Due to the ideal location, it was built by Sun Quan (182 - 252, King of Wu) as a watchtower for his army. After hundreds of years, its military function was gradually forgotten and the tower was enjoyed mainly as a picturesque location" http://www.travelchinaguide.com/attraction/hubei/wuhan/yellowcrane.htm


The following day, I thought it fitting to spend my Sunday morning at the Guiyuan Temple, a Buddhist monastery, located in Hanyang. The best part was the turtle pond. Apparently in China, it's not just the people that need population control.


I guess you could say I am back to loving it here. I love the markets. I love shopping here. I love walking around at night through the alleys and startling Chinese people with my round eyes then trying new food. I LOVE buying cute shoes for 3 dollars!!!

I love Chinese people. They have such amazing energy. And Wuhanese have thus far topped them all (although the Tibetans in Zhongdian/Shagri-la come a very close second). The girls in the nail salon hold my hands and rub my tattoos and touch my eyelashes and coo over me. The taxi drivers here are so patient with me and my horrible Chinese. And the kids are so cute, too. A praying mantis and chop sticks is all they need to have fun!

Besides the boring old British men that rule the roost at my school, there are a few younger Welsh guys who've got potential. In addition, the Chinese staff is amazing and I am really looking forward to getting to know them. Here is the daunting gate to WHBC (Wuhan British College) on Wan Song Yuan Lu (street of a thousand trees) where I work.

I must warn you...I'm not in the greatest mood as I write this. What's more, I had hoped my first blog on my new home would be full of wonderful news and smelling of potpourri. Unfortunately, the events of my day have left me saddened and reflective. Subsequently, the Chinese-government-approved version of  the details of my daily life here in Wuhan will have to wait for another day. First, this story must be told.

After a good sleep-in, some yoga, and a coffee, I took the city bus an hour East of my house to explore the area known as Wuchang; and more specifically, it's famed East Lake. On route, I began to feel a little depressed, as I wondered to myself if Chinese people even know that the sky is blue. I fantasized about trying to teach a physics class where I describe that water is blue because it reflects the blue sky - and look up to see dumbfounded faces on all of my students. They would ask me, "teacher, are you colour blind? The sky is not blue!"

But I tried to shake myself from the bitterness. I repeated several mantras to myself such as: the earth will take care of itself; we're all at fault, it's not 'us' vs. 'them'; and, it's not like Chinese people are maliciously ruining the environment.
But....the thing is...they ARE.  

East Lake is touted as the largest lake within any city boundary in China. The tourism literature online notes it is "characterized by a beautiful landscape, abundant plants, and unique gardens..." however, it fails to mention a number of darker attributes to the 87 square km of water area.
 
First and foremost, the thousands of fish lying belly up on the banks, greeting you upon arrival.


Or the fact that you can't see farther than 100m in front of you without wondering if you suddenly need glasses.