Feminism, Idealism, Education, and A Few Other Privileges

I am living in Beijing! Settling in quite nicely with way too much time on my hands - which of course only leads to too much thinking - and thus this massive blog posting. I ran to the Olympic Stadium and Bird's Nest this morning (13km round trip which by Beijing standards is right next door) and during my run I thought enough to solve the world's problems and then some in the hour and a half. So where do I start?! Whaaaahaaa!


Well, to no surprise I've been reading a lot. With more time on my hands than I've had in a long time I've been very lonely and unable to sleep, but this extra time also offers a great opportunity to sit, read, go for a walk and reflect - have long talks mainly with myself, bu also with the occasional old and new friend. I really should try to do more of that (the new friends thing). And some of you should try calling me! This reminds me, I had my first visitor last week - a friend from WuHan was on route back 'home' and stayed with me (hostess, tour guide, illegal immigrant extraordinaire) for a few days. Undoubtedly, we found ourselves at the friendly neighbourhood bar (vowing not to drink for the month of September was Kyboshed September 2nd upon his arrival and a great realization that I was a student, living on campus, and it was the first month of school - it's simply my responsibility to drink - not to mention they give girls three free drinks at the door AND they have Pimm's - they had me at 'hello') and through the course of some good fun, I thought to myself that this was just another privilege, of which I could go into great detail to explain to you; but instead I have three main privileges I want to talk about today, of which ultimately all have me traveling down the road of Gratitude and Love for Life - so let's get to 'em!

Having an English-speaking friend here over the weekend gave me an opportunity to reflect and chat about a few other privileges on my mind since traveling to the UK.  One conversation was a little bit like this:
Me: So this guy I went to see in England thinks I am a feminist.
Him: Ha! The most women's rights-hating feminist I've ever met!
Me: I don't want to be treated special or worse just because I've got boobs.
Him: yeah me neither.
Me: Right, so this guy also thinks I am an Idealist. I've never really thought about that.
Him: Linda, if someone tries labeling you as anything at all, they don't know you.
Me: So you don't think I am an Idealist? I kinda like the idea.
Him: The most cynical idealist I've ever met.
Me: So, I'm not a feminist or an idealist? What am I then?
Him: You're a bra-burning, 'we can do it' women's rights activist in your right baby finger; a socially responsible, ethical, selfless human right's activist in your left baby finger; then you are Linda McGrew everywhere else: Pure Contradiction.
Me:  Hey, wait a minute, I thought we agreed last night it is not so much contradiction as it is centralism; I am a centrist so I can always see both sides - and I try to have compassion and understanding for both sides.
Him: yeah, until you get pissed and bitchy.
Me: whooyiaow! Pijiushijiandaole! 啤酒时间到了！translation: It's time for us to go have a beer.

Maybe at this point you're feeling confused at this thread that I've tried to weave of privileges (I'm sorry, I do that - I'm confused too and am only now realizing that confusion seems to be my general state and i am even confused that it took me so long to figure that out) but I will type out something I wrote into the front of a book I just finished reading (The Good Women of China) in order to explain to you the link between privilege and feminism; or me being a 'feminist'.

Aug 29, 09
    Someone recently called me a feminist; to which I replied with hysterical laughter. What, because I think women should have equal opportunities, I am a man-hating, fist-pumping, so called 'feminist'? And, maybe I am! But two years ago, prior to moving to China - a country that cannot be understood in one blind swoop generalization but certainly can be said to have it's fair share of equality issues as well as sexual and sexism frustrations - I thought I hated feminists and their 'women's only gyms' and 'women's days'. Over the last two years here I have seen and heard a lifetime of heartache from the women of China; some close friends, others beggars on the streets. Here, I am much more aware of a need for equality as well as a need for a voice for these human beings - burdened by so much for the sole reason that they were born without a Y chromosome. China has taught me a lot. And the women of China; their struggle and confusion; have taught me even more. I read this book and again and again feel their pain so deeply. We may look different but we are ALL 99.999999% the same; genetically and otherwise. This book does a great job to promote awareness of certain issues that both women from developed (and thus apparently equal) countries as well as developing (such as China) encounter every day. Rape, molestation, expectations, requirements; being made to feel inferior and useless all in the name of being 'just a girl'. These are all things that every woman (and I'd hope any man who chooses to) can relate to on some level. So, then, what makes someone a feminist? I'd like to define a feminist in this context as someone who gives a voice to those who do not have one; someone who pursues painful issues and burden's themselves with others' pain in an attempt to help; someone who supports those (emotionally and otherwise) who are less fortunate. This is my definition - and we all should be so fortunate to be able to shoulder this burden and to call ourselves such a blasphemous word.
I am a Feminist!


Furthermore, I will be exploring this Idealism thing in the next while. Oddly enough, after being only recently informed of this concept, I got an email from a very close friend the other day, and she wrote to me: "You are right to expect the best, we are passionate and idealists, I think we need men like that too; ones that will do anything to be with us and value our idealism" So this concept of being an idealist is new to me, but the idea of me being one to others is quite apparently not. Similarly to being labeled a feminist, being labeled an idealist has me exploring my own definition of the word as well as others'. 
So far, I can say this: walking around University campuses all over the world has always brought me so much joy and comfort. I was feeling this warmth and feeling of belonging just yesterday while I walked through my campus and I started wondering why I always get this great feeling. And I think it is because at University there are so many young, brilliant minds that have not yet been jaded by 'realists' or have not been told to give up their dreams yet or have not started running the race and getting stuck in it. They are at their best and they are living their lives with passion and dreams and following both. This is my definition of an idealist.
And why wouldn't I want to spend more time with people like this?!
And why, too, wouldn't I want to be one?
Furthermore, why wouldn't I want to be the type of person that I would want to spend time with?!

Moreover, on the topic of me wandering around campus, education is a privilege. Now, this one, I'd guess a lot more of you will be familiar with and able to relate to. Firstly, it is expensive! I have paid my next 6 months of tuition; my next 4 months of rent; and even planning for all this, I still had to seriously dip into the reserves and get a second part time job (which brings me to the usual total of 3 jobs; 4 if you include being a student). I don't feel I need to explain this one to you as much as many of you have either put someone through University or been through it yourselves, but, I will lead into a link between this and illegal immigration; yet another thing I've not only taken for granted but also not understood my whole life.

Now, the ability to speak enough Chinese whereby after a full day of interrogation, a few trips in police cars, and a final stop at the PSB, I was able to explain my way out of a 2500RMB fine - explain it down to a minor slap on the wrist, which also involved a drive home since the officer lived 'on the way', made me realize the ramification of a variety of things I take for granted and am thankful for. After this experience, among other things, I understand a lot more now what it must be to live as an illegal immigrant.
It would absolutely suck.
For over a week, every time I saw a police car, I froze; every time I heard a siren, my heart would skip a beat. I could not get hurt or I'd be found out at the hospital; could not travel without papers; and no staying at hotels here without a valid visa. The list goes on. These people I have found a bit bothersome in the past in Canada (not paying taxes, working under the table, using the roads, services, etc I pay for) I will from this day forward have compassion for. They cannot take a single risk; cannot get hurt or need medical care; cannot have an identity, or a life, essentially. Life would have to be unbearable where they've come from in order to live in a constant state of fear and guilt.
Imagine what you'd have to move from in order to choose to live in this state?!?


Anyways, after all this and all that, I got a call from a friend the other day asking me how I was because he knew I'd been going through a rough patch with the visa stuff and also just being in a new city all alone and all. I had already been on the verge of tears for days and with his call proceeded to bumble through tearful sorrow after sorrow to which he just kept replying "I know, I know, it'll be OK." It was all I needed to hear in order to fall to the floor in the fetal position, bawling and incoherent (I'm in a glass cage of emotion!). And ultimately it was all i really need to hear at all.  
Once I got myself together (there was a point I didn't think that would ever happen) and thanked him for the call, he wisely and eloquently reminded me that it is my choice to be here doing this. It is my choice to be on the road less traveled; to struggle.
He finished with, "Don't forget, McGrew, you love the struggle - It's what gets you off -"
"Yeah, you're right," I said, "just another privilege."