Cherry Blossoms Bloom

On the fourth day of the fourth month

I sit, contemplating my fate.

It began and ended as the bulbs of Spring

Broke the soil in a far off state.

 

            I was there once.

            I am here now.

 

In a land where Spring slowly yields to Summer,

Powerless, I grieve our lost dreams;

Helpless, holding only your image now;

Hopeless and unwilling to let go somehow.

 

            I would love Spring forever.

            It no longer wants to be.

 

Music, travel, nature, stories -

These old friends are now enemies.

All passions bring you to me,

Constant, uncontrollable memories.

 

            So short a time to love you.           

            So long a time to let you go.

 

Last night, still drunk, I fell asleep

In clothes once worn for you.

You met me there, your face so clear.

I felt your heart, you share my sorrow.

 

            My home is far off in a yellow land of rice.

            My heart is further still, buried by vineyards.

 

I dream you come to my door,

Much like I have yearned before;

When I longingly waited that whole day,

Standing still, where you sent me away.

 

            Homesick while at home.

            Heartsick everywhere, unending.

 

Not long ago we held each other,

Cared and loved  - in sleep and in life.

A perfect match, we fit together;

So right we would have loved forever.

 

            Hopelessness and dread,

            That you might never return.

 

Sunshine rises - brimming, begging.

It was once a friend of ours,

But like me it is lost now too

Counting each day without you.

 

            Fear that tomorrow will be like today

            Fear that today was equal to yesterday.

 

With the rising sun the wind blows in a new day.

Sitting inside I am a cat, warming in the window.

Yet even that brings me close to my old love:

I was his kitten, he was my sun above.

 

            They were all wrong when they said

            Time heals all wounds.

 

Searching for anything real to grasp,

I take comfort in the cherry blossoms;

One thing we never did share.

All else is saturated - ubiquitously you.

 

            I choose the slow agony of not letting go,

            So you can remain in my memory, perfect .

The cherry blossoms fall now onto the sidewalk,

Where they are walked on - forgotten.

Once beautiful, they are quickly blown

Away further still - a place unknown.

         

          I watch their destiny unfold

          Sadly, submitting, relating.