Recently in beijing Category
Over the next 6 months I will spend one month in one country five times - and in the middle of it all probably go to over 6 other new countries.
Exciting, you say? Tiring, I answer, with a smirk, and a wink.
I've been away from China for over one week now. One week is not long enough for me to have fully absorbed all that I've learned; nor is it long enough for me to have had time to put into practice all that I've absorbed. Three years in a far off land is a long time and I am sure the way the experiences there have molded me will become apparent for some time to come.
Yeah I lived in China for 3 years; and one month does not hold a candle to three years; although one month - as was pointed out to me today - is a long time. A long time to learn things; make judgments; adjust, and more than anything - change. One thing I have learned, and have had to learn to come to terms with is: I am my only constant. And as I've said, home is where my computer is. No home, no support systems, no routine, running is my only form of roots. Well, I guess writing is too. Anyways, for the next three places I go, I've already been to all of them (Bali for June, Finland for July, and Canada for August). But regardless of having been there already, as a traveler and a lover of adventure and learning, I know that one month in one place - whether it my old home or the home of my new family - will still have me changing; ebbing and flowing; resisting and progressing. So before I embark on the next lesson, I want to make some last comments and tell a few final stories.
You know, just take a moment, and reflect.
I will accompany this with some of my favorite pics of the last 3 years of "chaos in opposite world".
To be fair, China taught me a few things I'd like to forget. Namely, asking very personal or rude questions like the first thing with everything is the cost. Or just being a little more bold or rude than I'd like to think I am. I am less caring of others and the environment than I was 3 years ago. I've gotten in the habit of operating more on "me" and my survival. You pick up many a things in these far off lands - and I guess it is inevitable that it isn't ALL good.
Regardless, as I've been decompressing here in Bali and adjusting to the general idea of not being back to China (to live, at least) I've been remembering some conversations and scenarios that for whatever reason seem to have left quite an impression on me. For better or worse. Moreover, I have found things here in Bali I'd forgotten. I have re-found (is that even a word?) things is hadn't even really realized I'd lost. For example, I am on route to reclaiming my emotional intelligence and spirituality - my silence, compassion, and reliance on yoga and meditation. All of these were lost in the noise and pollution of China. I knew this, but I was too busy exploring and trying new things to do much about it. Furthermore, Bali has reminded some of my LOVE of running and my passion for health. But China taught me a lot of great things too. Like understanding and accepting differences. Being able to conceptualize a 5000 year history and how it molds and develops a society, it's people and their language.
Anyways, there are three stories I've found myself telling the foreigners and locals that I've come to meet here in Bali when they ask me to "get down to the knitty-gritty" of China and Chinese people. People in Indonesia, unlike in China, get access to You Tube. And one thing they can't stop asking me is 'is that youtube video of the subways in Beijing real?" Yep, definitely. They push you in, shove you out, scrape you off the wall when the line ends, and don't even think about letting an old lady have your chair. it is man eat man out there. but there are a few other intricacies to the madness. And some of these values and prejudices that I have lived under for three years I am hoping to un-learn during over the next while.
1. Weight story
Not to make excuses for them before I even begin to tell this story, but there is no doubt that China is a very analytical culture: both goal oriented and numbers focused. This can be a strength and a weakness, I suppose. For men, they are analyzed and weighed based on how much money they make. Everything in a successful, 'useful' Chinese man's life is about money. For women, it is how they look. And in an very number oriented society, this comes down most often to weight. A successful woman, regardless of age or height, must weigh less than 60kg. This is enforced even more when one goes shopping and the only sizes for pants in the entire mall are 26, 27, and 28. Otherwise known as Small, Medium, and Large.
When I first arrived to China I was teaching a night class to engineers at a local computer company. We'd often get off topic and talk about whatever they felt like since I knew that was actually more helpful to their confidence in speaking English, and my theory is that it's all about confidence when it comes to learning a new language. They started the usual 20 questions, which in China is more like 3 questions. 1. Are you married? 2. Do you like China? 3. How old are you? Generally they might throw in a 4th. Where are you from? Or 5th. How much money do you make. Either way, these are the top 5 questions, I guess.
On this particular night I was feeling good about myself and therefore even more open than usual. They started chatting with me about marriage and why I wasn't married. They were truly, honestly, quire concerned that their pretty foreign teacher who was obviously smart and funny had not been married at the extremely seasoned age of 27. I took their concern for me as a compliment, so tried to go along with their concern. The answer "I don't want to get married" never satisfies a Chinese person. They do not understand that concept nor can they accept it. So the students on this particular evening were trying to figure it all out for me. Had I been divorced? Did my family have a history of bad luck? Then one girl piped up and asked, "How much do you weigh?"
"I'm not sure", I responded, honestly having not weighed myself for years after learning to trust my body and listen to it. But I kinda did the math and figure I'd give them an answer, "About 61, maybe 62 kg."
The class went silent. The girls in the front row all exchanged glances. Fear and surprise in their eyes. And that was the end of the conversation. It was official. I was too fat for marriage. 163cm and 61kg. Too big. And that was a fact.
2. Privacy story
The Chinese have a very, very different definition of privacy than I. In fact, I know the word in Chinese for 'private' but I have only ever heard it used in the context of 'private enterprise' or describing a 'privately owned store'. I don't think they have a word for boundaries. And if they do, they certainly don't know the meaning of it. This definition, or lack thereof, comes into play in every day conversation (like when the first thing a stranger ask you is how much money you make), to not so frequent events such as the 'salon' (see picture of me getting my under arms waxed with a crowd watching) and the dentist - um, out on the street as usual.
Literally everything is done right out in the open. And no questions are asked of it. As a westerner I think this is easily one of the most difficult things to not only come to grips with but then embrace in China. I don't think I ever embraced it. Any of it. I like my big, expansive, Canadian bubble. I like my large private home with a yard and private car, etc. Not only do I like these things, but I don't deal well without them. I don't like being stared at constantly; asked what I consider to be rude questions (and I know they just play dumb in these instances) or pushed, prodded, bumped and bruised, both mentally and physically, on a daily basis. All in the name of no semblance of privacy. The Communist Party does not believe in secrets. Yeah, right.
Shopping in China can be fun because there are bargains to be found. But as far as trying things on or asking for, heaven forbid, a size larger than a Western XXS, well, just watch the crowds gather. Or almost even more mortifying, the uninvited guests into the change room scenario. I was shopping for a bra in Shanghai recently. Already feeling quite self conscious since every single bra is a size A with padding, I thought I might have better luck in a department store in China's most international city. The store was a foreign (French) brand. With foreign (euro) prices, and, yeah! My size. But they certainly did not have foreign sales ladies. Nor had those sales ladies been taught about foreign privacy.
As I was looking at bras, one sales lady came up beside me and grabbed my breast and firmly sqeezed it. I think I jumped a little and might even have made a squeeking noise in surprise. But my face stayed in firm poker-face mode, and I looked at the woman with a blank expression, waiting for the verdict. "C you are not a D, you are a C." I figured she was wrong but nonetheless decided to try a few on. When I asked where the change room was she pointed to a curtain and then pushed me with her behind it. She not only forced herself into the change room with me but then proceeded to cup my breasts non stop while undressing me and then putting each bra I was trying on for me - even lifting and placing each boob into the perfect place in the bra for me. Apparently I was not capable of that myself. Or maybe their definition of customer service is our definition of molestation?
3. Tattoo story
All women must be thin and beautiful, then get married, have one child, and serve their husbands for eternity. Everyone knows everyone else's business. 'Face' is everything, and the secret to life is appearing as perfect as possible. Tattoos are a mark of imperfection. This is the current reality in China.
The only people back in the 30's in America with tattoos were sailors and jailers - or so I've been told by my grandparents when they saw my first tat. Well, right now, in China, the only women with tattoos are xiaojie, or, prostitutes. They are tattooed by the Mumma, who claims rights on them and the tattoo is meant for all to see who manages them. It just so happens that this specific tat is always on the right hand - and it is more often than not a flower. And who here has a flower tat on their right wrist? Yep, that'd be me.
More often than not I saw this prejudice as an opportunity. From baffling people that I was 29 and unmarried to completely stopping their programming in it's tracks when I explained I was a vegetarian. The only response is a blank blue screen: does not compute, does not compute. beeeeeeeeep. power off.
In the nail and hair salons, many of the girls getting work done instantly connected with me on a jiemei (sister) level - assuming we were cut of the same cloth. To be more blunt - assuming I was, like them, a prostitute (from Russia). This allowed me both an opportunity to practice my Chinese and also to learn a lot - about the sex industry in china as well as about these women as individuals and the choices they are basically forced to make.
Mostly the bolder young girls who are attending University in Beijing also get their nails or hair done in these places now. They, in typical no-respect-for-privacy, are interested at staring at me only one centimeter from my face, and in asking plenty of inappropriate questions while getting their nails done too. A very classic conversation is as follows (I have been a part of this exact dialogue about 20 times):
"Wow, your eyelashes are so long, are they real? Wow! your nose is so tall! Is it real? Are your breasts real? Ah, foreigners are so lucky."
But the funny thing is, they don't mean any of it. I mean, they can't possibly. From here on, the odd very bold uni student, who probably had a foreign boyfriend at some point, or at the very least, would have been brazen enough to try for one, will move on to more interesting and possibly dangerous topics - my tattoos. This conversation, I have taken part in at least 5 times.
First, of course, they ask: "How much?" then, "Did it hurt?" Then I have even heard a few say to me that they want one too but their boyfriend/mum won't allow it.
And again, I'm not buying it. This 'face' this facade.
Becasue when you do not speak the language as your first language, you learn to watch for other things. You learn to rely on body language, facial expressions, etc and that actually becomes what you hear. Not the words.
And so I know what they really mean. They look at me with pity. I have no chance now. I've ruined my chances for a normal life - a perfect life - a life that looks perfect. They look at me like a zoo animal and then a lot like the girls that night in the classroom when I was, oh my god, 61kg. I was not married because I quite obviously was a XiaoJie, a prostitute. Though they are certain I am far too old for that now. So maybe not now but certainly in the past. And therefore, polluted - broken. In fact, the character for wife in Chinese is the character for broken and woman - one on top of the other. I'm as good as broken.
Well, anyways, so, how do you end The Last China Blog?
Maybe a little bit like the way you just get on that next plane.
The way you drag yourself out of bed when the alarm goes off hours before you are ready.
A lot like ripping off a band-aid.
Maybe a little bit like the way you just get on that next plane.
The way you drag yourself out of bed when the alarm goes off hours before you are ready.
A lot like ripping off a band-aid.
Reporting live from the roads of Beijing..........
I am certainly not a passive cycle commuter and I really do like the colour red - in particular with all it's connotations in this special communist state. The name "Red Rager" was given to me back during The Tour de Chine and I work hard to uphold my worthiness of it while at the same time trying to win the game of "Face" - the rules to which will become apparent in the following soliloquy.
White shoes, red socks, black shorts, black shirt, yellow glasses... as the camera pans in I slowly and coolly put on my red helmet and red gloves, then pop the red panier onto my red bike. I swing my right leg over the seat and straddle my baby... I am now, officially, the Red Rager.
Cue music.
Looking around now I notice the sun is a bit past high noon, and the afternoon traffic has begun. But honestly, did it ever end? It must be at least 330. I deeply inhale and smile as I soak it all in - then choke a bit from the dust and what is fondly known here as 'fog' but is certainly Something that Makes me think there is no 'f' before the OG. But calling it fog keeps us all a little happier in 'we all pretend nothing is wrong on the surface' world.
And I spit.
Sometimes one forgets where one is during a perfect moment, then is subsequently reminded with a smack, kick, honk, or in this case, phlegm.
I am, as we speak, getting reacquainted with Reba, my lovely bicycle (did I mention she is red?) as I ride her from my old 'home' to my new one on this fine Summer day in the capital of the PRC. After the preliminary preparations, I flick the switch; an old Bruce Springsteen song starts to rock in my ears; and I start to roll.
Oh sweet, sweet Reba.
I start off at each light way ahead of everyone the second it turns green. It is a race, of course, to the next set of lights. Which I must win and which is apparently not fun to anyone else on a bike in Beijing, as they prefer to play the game of 'who can get there last' instead. But we all, always, end up at the next red light together. Waiting. or, in some cases, not.
Occasionally an e-bike or a car veers in front, thinking I am a typical "slow" bike....thus begins the game of 'face' as I try to educate the masses and stay alive at the same time.
I win a point when I behave the most serenely - the most zen.
I lose a point if I sneer, veer, or brake...let alone if I yell or curse - things a Red Rager must do at times, even armed with the knowledge this behavior will lose her points.
There's a red light up ahead. Michael Jackson's Thriller just came on. Do I stop? I am not even within the third ring road yet. Things are different out here. It's like a whole new frontier. Almost the Wild West in a concrete jungle sort of way but with more dust and less whistling. The cars seem to keep going and so I stop pedaling but don't break. Still red, still red, still red. The bikes all keep going too. And all the people are going across. Ah, it must be yet another green light simply disguised as a red one. Silly me, I should have known.
See, there is democracy in China. Majority rules.
I continue through and think to myself that the right thing to do in a country where there are few enforced laws and no religion is simply whatever-everyone-else-is-doing.
Along with democracy on the roads in China there is also a caste system. To make it simple I will keep it to 4 levels. The top level are, straight-shooter, the busses. Most of which are either double decker or the double long accordion-in-the-middle types. Not only do the busses do whatever they please but they also get the most respect. Even I won't dabble in a game with these upper echelons on society.
The second highest class would have to be police and government vehicles, and the neuveaux riches (porche, audi, hummer, beamer, etc), the latter of which I try to make my focus of "Face", as they are the easiest to win points off of - being that they've usually been driving for one year tops, and still revere the good old tall nose, round eyed laowai.
In the next class, the third class, we have taxis and bikes. I do not consider myself in this class (surprise, surprise). I seat myself snugly in the middle of slow pedal biker and crazy-eyed taxi driver. I might look like a 2 but I act like a 3. And I've got the scars and medals to prove it.
The untouchables in this caste system would be pedestrians. If you have the misfortune of being born unto this class, do not, for any reason, think if any of the higher classes are coming towards you, that they will stop for you. They will not see you. In fact, you are henceforth renamed 'invisibles'.
The roads have suddenly started to get a bit busier as I get closer to the epicenter - the Forbidden City - and as it near XiaBan (work is over) time. Some 10 million people must be on the move around me now, and I'm going along with them. As the dustiness picks up, the noise is maddening - the cars are all practically at a stand still - and I whiz by them all. Freeeeedoooom!!!!!! I lick my lips, Igtch, dust. Try to remember not to do that again.
Bon Jovi comes on and I pass an e-bike going 25km/hr or so. I am not even sweating or breathing through my mouth (I try not to, without my mask) and I hear the driver yell "Sky!!!" which means, 'Oh my god!'
"Sky, sky sky!!!! A foreigner on a bike and they are fast!!" Oh the Chinese are so darned talented at pointing out the bluntly obvious. "Thank you," I say. I am going to give myself one point on that one... you would too if you dealt with "Helllooooo, Laowai, waiguoren?" Etc all day long. It's enough to make you wanna drop kick a split-pantsed baby the next time you see they 'spitting-and-squatting' parent light up a cigarette in the middle of the grocery store while their child pees in the cookie isle.
Deep breaths.......
A car makes a right turn into the bike lane and across four others. No check to the left. No signal. After all, I should have seen it coming. Of course I should have, right? "Is this your first day with a car?" I yell, and kick at it with the precision of someone who might have done that before.
"Bang!"
A mild hush envelopes the entire city. Damn. I lost a point there. Maybe even two if there were judges. Another car veers right, through the intersection and across the bike lane. I swerve a bit and there is only one thought on my mind "poker face, poker face, poker face'. Oh yeah, I won that one.
Honk! Honk! Honk! This honk! constant honk! and never honk! ending backhonk!drop to all Chinese cities becomes part of your thoughts after living here a while. But every so often it is obnoxious enough to yet again permeate even the longest-lived vetran. HONK!
"What the heck is that guy going on about?" I look back for a second, annoyed he might be driving behind me in the bike lane and about to give him a piece of my mind (knowing full well that would mean losing a point, but preemptively strategizing that it will be worth it). But I need not worry as this driver is much smarter than the rest and not in the bike lane at all but instead driving seamlessly along the sidewalk. That must be why they make them so wide here.
I start getting lost in my own thoughts. I am getting into the groove. "Is a moment wasted if it has no purpose? But how it is determined whether that moment has purpose or not until after the moment has passed? In which case how can anyone in any moment correctly judge whether that moment is of use or not? Why is it that we feel everything must have a purpose? Or we make sense of some choice, some random meeting, so missed flight, etc? Is it true that a purposeless life is a life un-lived? Or does all life have an inherent purpose and thus putting value or thought into it actually makes it less purposeful or more purposeless?"
Honk honk honk!!!!! Tweeeeet! Woah, wake up, Red Rager.
Hard right. South for a light then only a few more blocks East and I'll be at TianAnMen.
I am a hero for maneuvering through this city without a map.
I am a hero!
Hey that dude's got a mustache!
Woah, a foreigner!
Honk honk! "baby it don't matter if your black or white"
Oh yeah, life is good. And I am ....pedestrian!!!
"AhYaWoDeMaYa!!?!" Guess they aren't invisible after all. And looking before crossing was yet another thing mum's forgot to tell their kids growing up and Moa failed to mention in his little red book. Maybe the Communist Party needs to write a New Testament version. Or maybe I do? Hey, there's a good plan for my Saturday.
I am certainly not a passive cycle commuter and I really do like the colour red - in particular with all it's connotations in this special communist state. The name "Red Rager" was given to me back during The Tour de Chine and I work hard to uphold my worthiness of it while at the same time trying to win the game of "Face" - the rules to which will become apparent in the following soliloquy.
White shoes, red socks, black shorts, black shirt, yellow glasses... as the camera pans in I slowly and coolly put on my red helmet and red gloves, then pop the red panier onto my red bike. I swing my right leg over the seat and straddle my baby... I am now, officially, the Red Rager.
Cue music.
Looking around now I notice the sun is a bit past high noon, and the afternoon traffic has begun. But honestly, did it ever end? It must be at least 330. I deeply inhale and smile as I soak it all in - then choke a bit from the dust and what is fondly known here as 'fog' but is certainly Something that Makes me think there is no 'f' before the OG. But calling it fog keeps us all a little happier in 'we all pretend nothing is wrong on the surface' world. And I spit.
Sometimes one forgets where one is during a perfect moment, then is subsequently reminded with a smack, kick, honk, or in this case, phlegm.
I am, as we speak, getting reacquainted with Reba, my lovely bicycle (did I mention she is red?) as I ride her from my old 'home' to my new one on this fine Summer day in the capital of the PRC. After the preliminary preparations, I flick the switch; an old Bruce Springsteen song starts to rock in my ears; and I start to roll.
Oh sweet, sweet Reba.
I start off at each light way ahead of everyone the second it turns green. It is a race, of course, to the next set of lights. Which I must win and which is apparently not fun to anyone else on a bike in Beijing, as they prefer to play the game of 'who can get there last' instead. But we all, always, end up at the next red light together. Waiting. or, in some cases, not.
Occasionally an e-bike or a car veers in front, thinking I am a typical "slow" bike....thus begins the game of 'face' as I try to educate the masses and stay alive at the same time.
I win a point when I behave the most serenely - the most zen.
I lose a point if I sneer, veer, or brake...let alone if I yell or curse - things a Red Rager must do at times, even armed with the knowledge this behavior will lose her points.
There's a red light up ahead. Michael Jackson's Thriller just came on. Do I stop? I am not even within the third ring road yet. Things are different out here. It's like a whole new frontier. Almost the Wild West in a concrete jungle sort of way but with more dust and less whistling. The cars seem to keep going and so I stop pedaling but don't break. Still red, still red, still red. The bikes all keep going too. And all the people are going across. Ah, it must be yet another green light simply disguised as a red one. Silly me, I should have known.
See, there is democracy in China. Majority rules.
I continue through and think to myself that the right thing to do in a country where there are few enforced laws and no religion is simply whatever-everyone-else-is-doing.
Along with democracy on the roads in China there is also a caste system. To make it simple I will keep it to 4 levels. The top level are, straight-shooter, the busses. Most of which are either double decker or the double long accordion-in-the-middle types. Not only do the busses do whatever they please but they also get the most respect. Even I won't dabble in a game with these upper echelons on society.
The second highest class would have to be police and government vehicles, and the neuveaux riches (porche, audi, hummer, beamer, etc), the latter of which I try to make my focus of "Face", as they are the easiest to win points off of - being that they've usually been driving for one year tops, and still revere the good old tall nose, round eyed laowai.
In the next class, the third class, we have taxis and bikes. I do not consider myself in this class (surprise, surprise). I seat myself snugly in the middle of slow pedal biker and crazy-eyed taxi driver. I might look like a 2 but I act like a 3. And I've got the scars and medals to prove it.
The untouchables in this caste system would be pedestrians. If you have the misfortune of being born unto this class, do not, for any reason, think if any of the higher classes are coming towards you, that they will stop for you. They will not see you. In fact, you are henceforth renamed 'invisibles'.
The roads have suddenly started to get a bit busier as I get closer to the epicenter - the Forbidden City - and as it near XiaBan (work is over) time. Some 10 million people must be on the move around me now, and I'm going along with them. As the dustiness picks up, the noise is maddening - the cars are all practically at a stand still - and I whiz by them all. Freeeeedoooom!!!!!! I lick my lips, Igtch, dust. Try to remember not to do that again.
Bon Jovi comes on and I pass an e-bike going 25km/hr or so. I am not even sweating or breathing through my mouth (I try not to, without my mask) and I hear the driver yell "Sky!!!" which means, 'Oh my god!'
"Sky, sky sky!!!! A foreigner on a bike and they are fast!!" Oh the Chinese are so darned talented at pointing out the bluntly obvious. "Thank you," I say. I am going to give myself one point on that one... you would too if you dealt with "Helllooooo, Laowai, waiguoren?" Etc all day long. It's enough to make you wanna drop kick a split-pantsed baby the next time you see they 'spitting-and-squatting' parent light up a cigarette in the middle of the grocery store while their child pees in the cookie isle.
Deep breaths.......
A car makes a right turn into the bike lane and across four others. No check to the left. No signal. After all, I should have seen it coming. Of course I should have, right? "Is this your first day with a car?" I yell, and kick at it with the precision of someone who might have done that before.
"Bang!"
A mild hush envelopes the entire city. Damn. I lost a point there. Maybe even two if there were judges. Another car veers right, through the intersection and across the bike lane. I swerve a bit and there is only one thought on my mind "poker face, poker face, poker face'. Oh yeah, I won that one.
Honk! Honk! Honk! This honk! constant honk! and never honk! ending backhonk!drop to all Chinese cities becomes part of your thoughts after living here a while. But every so often it is obnoxious enough to yet again permeate even the longest-lived vetran. HONK!
"What the heck is that guy going on about?" I look back for a second, annoyed he might be driving behind me in the bike lane and about to give him a piece of my mind (knowing full well that would mean losing a point, but preemptively strategizing that it will be worth it). But I need not worry as this driver is much smarter than the rest and not in the bike lane at all but instead driving seamlessly along the sidewalk. That must be why they make them so wide here.
I start getting lost in my own thoughts. I am getting into the groove. "Is a moment wasted if it has no purpose? But how it is determined whether that moment has purpose or not until after the moment has passed? In which case how can anyone in any moment correctly judge whether that moment is of use or not? Why is it that we feel everything must have a purpose? Or we make sense of some choice, some random meeting, so missed flight, etc? Is it true that a purposeless life is a life un-lived? Or does all life have an inherent purpose and thus putting value or thought into it actually makes it less purposeful or more purposeless?"
Honk honk honk!!!!! Tweeeeet! Woah, wake up, Red Rager.
Hard right. South for a light then only a few more blocks East and I'll be at TianAnMen.
I am a hero for maneuvering through this city without a map.
I am a hero!
Hey that dude's got a mustache!
Woah, a foreigner!
Honk honk! "baby it don't matter if your black or white"
Oh yeah, life is good. And I am ....pedestrian!!!
"AhYaWoDeMaYa!!?!" Guess they aren't invisible after all. And looking before crossing was yet another thing mum's forgot to tell their kids growing up and Moa failed to mention in his little red book. Maybe the Communist Party needs to write a New Testament version. Or maybe I do? Hey, there's a good plan for my Saturday.
And the month of February is upon us. This to me of course means two very important things:
1. My birthday (aka birthweek or birthmonth; this year spanning from Jan 27 to Feb 10)
2. Chinese New Year (aka Spring Festival; this year beginning Feb 14).
Not only because today is my birthday but also because this is MY blog, for this post I am going to talk all about ME! (some of you are saying: "what's new?" right?)
I have spent a decade now as an independent adult. Most of this entails making bad decisions and big mistakes. But through all of that I've seemed to become more and more satisfied, happy, at peace, and closer to my goal of being a wise old woman who makes the world a better place. Is it just me or do other people not have these sort of goals? Am I in a minority of people who chose to assess their life in the amount of time I can laugh with someone in a day? Or am I just crazy? A crazy wise old happy woman is a fine goal to have.
I was lying in bed last night thinking about this last decade of my life. I was wondering how one sums up a life; a decade; a year. But more importantly I was curious to know how other people do this. As a scientist I automatically want to break it down into parts - Is life to be qualitatively or quantitatively assessed? How should it be analyzed? It seems to me like many people determine 'success' and quality of life based on quantitative measurements: how much money they have accrued; how many friends they have; how many places they've been to visit; how many shoes they have; their education; their job's status; how much they weight, etc. I think this is both ridiculous and useless as it neither reflects a person's success nor happiness.
So then, if I vehemently disagree with this method of judgment, how then do I think one can assess these things? How can we qualitatively assess a year; a decade; a life? I read an article a while ago about the "World's Happiest People". Along with being a very healthy person, I'd have to say a very prominent focus I have for my life is to be one of these sickeningly happy people. The thing is, everyone attains happiness in a different way, right? Furthermore, how can it really be qualitatively analyzed? Like, how do I even know if I am happy or not?
Well, some hot shots are already on it. Below, the happiest countries are in blue, the least happy are in red.
The first place I found reports on happiness indices was of course wikipedia GNH
GNH (gross national happiness) is ideal in my opinion because it is more qualitative.
"GNH refers to the concept of a measurement of well-being and happiness. It is not measured directly, but only the factors which are believed to lead to it. There is no exact quantitative definition of GNH, but elements that contribute to GNH are subject to quantitative measurement. Low rates of infant mortality, for instance, correlate positively with subjective expressions of well-being or happiness within a country. (This makes sense; it is no large leap to assume that premature death causes sorrow.) The practice of social science has long been directed toward transforming subjective expression of large numbers of people into meaningful quantitative data; there is no major difference between asking people "how confident are you in the economy?" and "how satisfied are you with your job?"
The GNH guys have come up with a way to measure happiness. "GNH can be measured using the day reconstruction method, which consists in recollecting memories of the previous working day by writing a short diary. A second-generation GNH concept, treating happiness as a socioeconomic development metric, was proposed in 2006 by Med Jones, the President of International Institute of Management. The metric measures socioeconomic development by tracking 7 development area including the nation's mental and emotional health. GNH value is proposed to be an index function of the total average per capita of the following measures:
1. Economic Wellness: Indicated via direct survey and statistical measurement of economic metrics such as consumer debt, average income to consumer price index ratio and income distribution
2. Environmental Wellness: Indicated via direct survey and statistical measurement of environmental metrics such as pollution, noise and traffic
3. Physical Wellness: Indicated via statistical measurement of physical health metrics such as severe illnesses
4. Mental Wellness: Indicated via direct survey and statistical measurement of mental health metrics such as usage of antidepressants and rise or decline of psychotherapy patients
5. Workplace Wellness: Indicated via direct survey and statistical measurement of labor metrics such as jobless claims, job change, workplace complaints and lawsuits
6. Social Wellness: Indicated via direct survey and statistical measurement of social metrics such as discrimination, safety, divorce rates, complaints of domestic conflicts and family lawsuits, public lawsuits, crime rates
7. Political Wellness: Indicated via direct survey and statistical measurement of political metrics such as the quality of local democracy, individual freedom, and foreign conflicts.
And just when I started thinking facebook is my friend again, I came
across this article on how facebook uses our information to chart a
country's happiness. This article only focused on the US and along with the graph above summarized facebook's findings by
saying, "Despite a deepening recession and prolonged wars, Americans
seemed to be happier in 2009 than 2008."
This to me is slightly frightening but mostly pure entertainment....I mean, one of your happiest days of the year was when pirates were killed? Gotta love America.
Ok, so we are getting somewhere here. A way to analyze our success in life which to me means our happiness. The term 'well-being' is also thrown out there in the literature regarding happiness and success.
Check out this Wired article on the true measure of success or The New York time's Blog
Then there is this map (similar to the one above) I stumbled upon on each country's average well beings.
"The first World Map of Happiness has been published by scholars from the University of Leicester. The map is a global projection of subjective well-being (SWB), taken from a variety of recent sources, and compared with related data from UNESCO, the UN and even the CIA."
Last and certainly not least (I've been building up to this...hope you are not bored yet) the most brilliant of all:
The World's Data Base for Happiness From which one can learn that "Happiness is defined as the degree to which an individual judges the overall quality of his life-as-a-whole favorably. Within this concept two 'components' of happiness are distinguished: hedonic level of affect (the degree to which pleasant affect dominates) and contentment (perceived realization of wants). These components represent respectively 'affective' and 'cognitive' appraisals of life and are seen to figure as subtotals in the overall evaluation of life, called overall happiness."
The most interesting part of this site to me is on a global level looking at the maps
I know, I am a total nerd. Hey, it makes me happy!
Ok, so there are brilliant minds out there who've figured out how to measure and quantify our happiness as nations and the like. But then I wonder if happiness is also linked to brain chemicals; foods/drinks; environment and other such things slightly out of our control. I feel a bit guilty (I learned at a very young age that most people don't like happy people) when I say this but I kinda feel like I am just born to be happy. Or born to see the glass half full. Is it just easier for me than it is for other people? a ted talk if you are super-bored by now
Which brings me to my second point of today: Chinese New Year.
But more importantly, how Chinese New Year relates to ME....
I am a monkey based on the Chinese zodiac. It is frightening how bang-on a history of 5,000 years of observation can be....There isn't a single word I would disagree with in the information below. And if you disagree with some of it, well, frankly, you don't know me well.
Here are Jasmine and I being monkeys.
The 7 words used to describe Monkeys would all be in the 10 I would use to describe myself:
Imaginative, responsible, humorous, witty, curious, clever, sneaky
(If you are curious, I personally would top off the aforementioned 10 with something like: goofy, impatient, awkward)
"Monkeys can run circles around other people with ease. They are curious and clever people who catch on quickly to most anything. Monkey people generally can accomplish any given task. They appreciate difficult or challenging work as it stimulates them and makes them think. Monkeys are fun-loving people who really enjoy a good time with friends, family or anyone else for that matter. They love practical jokes and like to play tricks on colleagues and friends alike. Monkeys tend to stir up trouble simply out of boredom, which can end up being more hurtful than they intended. Often, when this causes trouble, they expect others to understand it was all a joke and to deal with the consequences on their own. The Chinese say Monkey's are just downright curious. Although gifted with a strong intellect, creativity and intuition are nor their fortes. They can't put themselves in your shoes even if they try and will become easily distracted or confused."
HEALTH
Monkeys believe being sick is a waste of time. They don't want to spend their days in bed. They want to experiencing the flavors of life. Usually, Monkeys are very healthy creatures, partly due to their active lifestyles. If they do experience illness, it is usually of the nervous or circulatory system.
AT HOME WITH THE MONKEY
Most Monkeys enjoy the activity offered by the city life rather than the quiet and tranquility offered in a more rural lifestyle. They crave being in the middle of things, enjoying life from a spectator's view. They also enjoy people-watching and can amuse themselves for hours at a time by just watching the people walk by. They need a view, and their homes are usually filled with windows and picturesque drawings.
THE MONKEY AT WORK
A Monkey's good memory and his ability to adapt are two of his most prized possessions. He is intelligent and stoic, able to pick new trades up quickly and easily. Monkeys are also able to do all the work in half the time it takes someone else, but will charge you double what someone else would charge. As such, Monkeys generally take occupations in the world of finance, such as banking, stock exchange or accounting.
MONEY AND THE MONKEY
Monkeys are just as good as spending money as they are at making it. They can't really save it because it burns a hole in their pockets. Occasionally though, Monkeys should put a little away today for an emergency tomorrow.
More specifically, I am a "Metal Monkey" THE METAL MONKEY 1920 AND 1980
Persuasive and passionate, this Monkey is a warm person. She is successful due to her innate determination and ambitious nature. In love these Monkeys are just and loyal as well as loving and affectionate.
Lastly, in the process of reading about my mokeyness I found what Monkey's dislike and completely embarrassed myself by laughing out loud in the very silent coffee shop where I am currently writing... why laugh, you ask? This could not be more true!!!
Monkeys Dislike: Being told to be quiet, not being the most popular, people who don't like their jokes.
I am pretty sure these three things in combination have been the cause of almost every one of my prior work or school conflicts - as well as past relationships ending! If only we had all known.......
1. My birthday (aka birthweek or birthmonth; this year spanning from Jan 27 to Feb 10)
2. Chinese New Year (aka Spring Festival; this year beginning Feb 14).
Not only because today is my birthday but also because this is MY blog, for this post I am going to talk all about ME! (some of you are saying: "what's new?" right?)
I have spent a decade now as an independent adult. Most of this entails making bad decisions and big mistakes. But through all of that I've seemed to become more and more satisfied, happy, at peace, and closer to my goal of being a wise old woman who makes the world a better place. Is it just me or do other people not have these sort of goals? Am I in a minority of people who chose to assess their life in the amount of time I can laugh with someone in a day? Or am I just crazy? A crazy wise old happy woman is a fine goal to have.
I was lying in bed last night thinking about this last decade of my life. I was wondering how one sums up a life; a decade; a year. But more importantly I was curious to know how other people do this. As a scientist I automatically want to break it down into parts - Is life to be qualitatively or quantitatively assessed? How should it be analyzed? It seems to me like many people determine 'success' and quality of life based on quantitative measurements: how much money they have accrued; how many friends they have; how many places they've been to visit; how many shoes they have; their education; their job's status; how much they weight, etc. I think this is both ridiculous and useless as it neither reflects a person's success nor happiness.
So then, if I vehemently disagree with this method of judgment, how then do I think one can assess these things? How can we qualitatively assess a year; a decade; a life? I read an article a while ago about the "World's Happiest People". Along with being a very healthy person, I'd have to say a very prominent focus I have for my life is to be one of these sickeningly happy people. The thing is, everyone attains happiness in a different way, right? Furthermore, how can it really be qualitatively analyzed? Like, how do I even know if I am happy or not?
Well, some hot shots are already on it. Below, the happiest countries are in blue, the least happy are in red.
The first place I found reports on happiness indices was of course wikipedia GNH
GNH (gross national happiness) is ideal in my opinion because it is more qualitative.
"GNH refers to the concept of a measurement of well-being and happiness. It is not measured directly, but only the factors which are believed to lead to it. There is no exact quantitative definition of GNH, but elements that contribute to GNH are subject to quantitative measurement. Low rates of infant mortality, for instance, correlate positively with subjective expressions of well-being or happiness within a country. (This makes sense; it is no large leap to assume that premature death causes sorrow.) The practice of social science has long been directed toward transforming subjective expression of large numbers of people into meaningful quantitative data; there is no major difference between asking people "how confident are you in the economy?" and "how satisfied are you with your job?"
The GNH guys have come up with a way to measure happiness. "GNH can be measured using the day reconstruction method, which consists in recollecting memories of the previous working day by writing a short diary. A second-generation GNH concept, treating happiness as a socioeconomic development metric, was proposed in 2006 by Med Jones, the President of International Institute of Management. The metric measures socioeconomic development by tracking 7 development area including the nation's mental and emotional health. GNH value is proposed to be an index function of the total average per capita of the following measures:
1. Economic Wellness: Indicated via direct survey and statistical measurement of economic metrics such as consumer debt, average income to consumer price index ratio and income distribution
2. Environmental Wellness: Indicated via direct survey and statistical measurement of environmental metrics such as pollution, noise and traffic
3. Physical Wellness: Indicated via statistical measurement of physical health metrics such as severe illnesses
4. Mental Wellness: Indicated via direct survey and statistical measurement of mental health metrics such as usage of antidepressants and rise or decline of psychotherapy patients
5. Workplace Wellness: Indicated via direct survey and statistical measurement of labor metrics such as jobless claims, job change, workplace complaints and lawsuits
6. Social Wellness: Indicated via direct survey and statistical measurement of social metrics such as discrimination, safety, divorce rates, complaints of domestic conflicts and family lawsuits, public lawsuits, crime rates
7. Political Wellness: Indicated via direct survey and statistical measurement of political metrics such as the quality of local democracy, individual freedom, and foreign conflicts.
And just when I started thinking facebook is my friend again, I came
across this article on how facebook uses our information to chart a
country's happiness. This article only focused on the US and along with the graph above summarized facebook's findings by
saying, "Despite a deepening recession and prolonged wars, Americans
seemed to be happier in 2009 than 2008." This to me is slightly frightening but mostly pure entertainment....I mean, one of your happiest days of the year was when pirates were killed? Gotta love America.
Ok, so we are getting somewhere here. A way to analyze our success in life which to me means our happiness. The term 'well-being' is also thrown out there in the literature regarding happiness and success.
Check out this Wired article on the true measure of success or The New York time's Blog
Then there is this map (similar to the one above) I stumbled upon on each country's average well beings.
"The first World Map of Happiness has been published by scholars from the University of Leicester. The map is a global projection of subjective well-being (SWB), taken from a variety of recent sources, and compared with related data from UNESCO, the UN and even the CIA."
Last and certainly not least (I've been building up to this...hope you are not bored yet) the most brilliant of all:
The World's Data Base for Happiness From which one can learn that "Happiness is defined as the degree to which an individual judges the overall quality of his life-as-a-whole favorably. Within this concept two 'components' of happiness are distinguished: hedonic level of affect (the degree to which pleasant affect dominates) and contentment (perceived realization of wants). These components represent respectively 'affective' and 'cognitive' appraisals of life and are seen to figure as subtotals in the overall evaluation of life, called overall happiness."
The most interesting part of this site to me is on a global level looking at the maps
I know, I am a total nerd. Hey, it makes me happy!
Ok, so there are brilliant minds out there who've figured out how to measure and quantify our happiness as nations and the like. But then I wonder if happiness is also linked to brain chemicals; foods/drinks; environment and other such things slightly out of our control. I feel a bit guilty (I learned at a very young age that most people don't like happy people) when I say this but I kinda feel like I am just born to be happy. Or born to see the glass half full. Is it just easier for me than it is for other people? a ted talk if you are super-bored by now
Which brings me to my second point of today: Chinese New Year.
But more importantly, how Chinese New Year relates to ME....
I am a monkey based on the Chinese zodiac. It is frightening how bang-on a history of 5,000 years of observation can be....There isn't a single word I would disagree with in the information below. And if you disagree with some of it, well, frankly, you don't know me well.
Here are Jasmine and I being monkeys.
The 7 words used to describe Monkeys would all be in the 10 I would use to describe myself: Imaginative, responsible, humorous, witty, curious, clever, sneaky
(If you are curious, I personally would top off the aforementioned 10 with something like: goofy, impatient, awkward)
"Monkeys can run circles around other people with ease. They are curious and clever people who catch on quickly to most anything. Monkey people generally can accomplish any given task. They appreciate difficult or challenging work as it stimulates them and makes them think. Monkeys are fun-loving people who really enjoy a good time with friends, family or anyone else for that matter. They love practical jokes and like to play tricks on colleagues and friends alike. Monkeys tend to stir up trouble simply out of boredom, which can end up being more hurtful than they intended. Often, when this causes trouble, they expect others to understand it was all a joke and to deal with the consequences on their own. The Chinese say Monkey's are just downright curious. Although gifted with a strong intellect, creativity and intuition are nor their fortes. They can't put themselves in your shoes even if they try and will become easily distracted or confused."
HEALTH
Monkeys believe being sick is a waste of time. They don't want to spend their days in bed. They want to experiencing the flavors of life. Usually, Monkeys are very healthy creatures, partly due to their active lifestyles. If they do experience illness, it is usually of the nervous or circulatory system.
AT HOME WITH THE MONKEY
Most Monkeys enjoy the activity offered by the city life rather than the quiet and tranquility offered in a more rural lifestyle. They crave being in the middle of things, enjoying life from a spectator's view. They also enjoy people-watching and can amuse themselves for hours at a time by just watching the people walk by. They need a view, and their homes are usually filled with windows and picturesque drawings.
THE MONKEY AT WORK
A Monkey's good memory and his ability to adapt are two of his most prized possessions. He is intelligent and stoic, able to pick new trades up quickly and easily. Monkeys are also able to do all the work in half the time it takes someone else, but will charge you double what someone else would charge. As such, Monkeys generally take occupations in the world of finance, such as banking, stock exchange or accounting.
MONEY AND THE MONKEY
Monkeys are just as good as spending money as they are at making it. They can't really save it because it burns a hole in their pockets. Occasionally though, Monkeys should put a little away today for an emergency tomorrow.
More specifically, I am a "Metal Monkey" THE METAL MONKEY 1920 AND 1980
Persuasive and passionate, this Monkey is a warm person. She is successful due to her innate determination and ambitious nature. In love these Monkeys are just and loyal as well as loving and affectionate.
Lastly, in the process of reading about my mokeyness I found what Monkey's dislike and completely embarrassed myself by laughing out loud in the very silent coffee shop where I am currently writing... why laugh, you ask? This could not be more true!!!
Monkeys Dislike: Being told to be quiet, not being the most popular, people who don't like their jokes.
I am pretty sure these three things in combination have been the cause of almost every one of my prior work or school conflicts - as well as past relationships ending! If only we had all known.......
Time has absolutely flown by since Christmas. I don't know what happened - I blinked and it was already almost the middle of January, and the only reason why I noticed was it was 01-10-10 which I thought was a cool date. The good news is I got through another Christmas abroad, fairly unscathed - the bad news is I have final exams coming, a ton of Orang Orang to catch up on, and have managed to have almost 5% of my year already gone in a blink. This enjoying life thing is hard work, you know. And it is likely the main cause for this recent passing of time by in a blurry bolt of light and sound, delicious food and good friends.
I think it is fair to say that it is not every day I run into another human being that I like; let alone that I want to spend more time with; let alone that I want to try to spend as much time with as possible. Last week, I came across three people like this - and they were all together! So, I had the pure pleasure of bringing the other few people I love here together with them to share my current passion and obsession: Chinese culture and language - in my home, Beijing.
"The Swedish Trio", as I promptly called them in my phone's Contact List arrived in Beijing not long after Christmas, and in good time before New Years. The next week is literally a stream of joy. And in the midst of our enjoyment (which of course involved a lot of BiJiu), I was a little surprised by the knowledge I have acquired over the 25 months i have lived here. The Swedish Trio are all very smart, observant kids; and the questions they asked within their first 24 hours made me want to write this blog. You may not truly get to experience China without coming here; but if you plan to come, maybe a few of the next questions/answers will prepare you a bit.
The trio and I went to the great wall, of course, and I got to experience it with snow for the first time. So I will share some of my pics from that day whilst quickly answering some of their good questions.
What can you get in trouble for?
Nothing if you have white skin and/or look foreign. Peeing in the street, smoking in small enclosed public areas, drinking anywhere, driving you and your wife and three kids on the back of a motorbike without helmets, dragging your wife down the road by her hair, etc...they all fly. Drugs are likely the only thing a foreigner would get into serious trouble with - and that is only really localized to Beijing and Hong Kong.
What do you do if you're lost?
Jump up and down and cry to the nearest young person. If that doesn't work, get out your hotel's business card and point at it while looking at the taxi driver with big puppy dog eyes. Don't leave your hotel without one or two of those business cards.
What do you do in a taxi?
Do not jump up and down and wave your hands. Driving is dangerous enough here as it is. Get the taxi to call your hotel or a friend if there is a problem. Make sure the second you get in they put the meter down. Do not try to bargain. You will lose. They know the word for police - a single mention of that word will solve any problem.
What do you need to worry about?
Stealing of phones and other small electronics might be an issue in jam-packed subways and especially on trains. But all in all feel free to walk alone at night in dark alleys; eat unidentifiable foods; and act like you were born in a barn. The locals will likely tell you that you are being too polite. In addition, see below:
Why do they try to scam us? bargaining and cheating?
Because we have a lot more money than they do. Be grateful. Also, a few thousand years of Confucism would have you believing stealing and lying is ok too.
Why do people stare so much?
They're mothers never told them how rude it is.
Why do people spit so much?
Their mother's never told them how it makes other people around them sick.
What are they saying?
Wow look at that tall foreigner, he's so tall! Wow look how blonde his hair is, so blonde! Wow look how tall her nose is, she is so stylish and beautiful...Then when they get bored of that the next thing is usually, "Hey, you want to see my new phone?" or "how much did you pay for that?".
The pollution isn't too bad, eh?
Nope, not at all. It was much worse in 2007 when I arrived but Chinese people are changing and adapting faster and faster and now they know the sky can appear blue so are starting to make smarter choices as well as demand regulations from their government. Having said that, some days are better than others and some cities are certainly better than others too.
Why do the dudes have long finger nails?
Both long finger nails and white skin colour tell other people "I am not a farmer" and therefore they are supposed to mean they are at a higher level in society or something to the effect of 'white collar'. Of course the long pinky nail is great for getting those tough to reach spots too.
Can we eat that street food?
If a billion Chinese people do something every day, it can't be all that bad for us.
What do I say when I need to go to the washroom?
Do not put your hand like a WC as they will automatically assume you want three more beers (you are with the Canadian alcoholic, afterall). Say "W.C." and hold up toilet paper. PS, bring toilet paper everywhere you go.
Suffice it to say, my knowledge of this land is far from impressive. The China that China allows the world to see is the outer layer of a billion layered onion. The answers to some of these questions might allow the outsider to delve into a second layer, which one who has not been to China might not have access to. But along the road of bargain hunting, street food eating and Chinese opera watching, we also talked about a third layer. Some of the topics included family planning (the one child policy), laws, racism, foot binding and the role and expectations of women, history, politics, colours of buildings, crazy hidden meanings and symbolism in everything, and religion. During these more serious and slightly less practical chats, I was constantly coming back to the give-and-take of how I perceive this place as an outsider and how my teachers and friends see their home.
Namely, Chinese people blame all their worries and problems on the large population. Everything in their mind boils down to the fact that China's population is too big: so there is a lot of 'eating bitterness'; people need to work harder; wages are lower; lines are longer; 'competition is fierce'. And from what I have heard many North American's say, the large majority of China's challenges are due to their Communist government.
But I don't and I know a lot of other Westerners don't see it that simply. Yeah the large population causes of a lot of day to day conflict and annoyance. But the real stuff - the big stuff - in my mind all starts back 5000 years ago. I don't want to put you to sleep but I recommend one day asking me, if you are interested. For now I will leave you with an old Chinese folk tale.
井底之蛙，所见不广
一口废井里住着一只青蛙。有一天青蛙在井边碰上了一只从海里来的大龟。
I think it is fair to say that it is not every day I run into another human being that I like; let alone that I want to spend more time with; let alone that I want to try to spend as much time with as possible. Last week, I came across three people like this - and they were all together! So, I had the pure pleasure of bringing the other few people I love here together with them to share my current passion and obsession: Chinese culture and language - in my home, Beijing."The Swedish Trio", as I promptly called them in my phone's Contact List arrived in Beijing not long after Christmas, and in good time before New Years. The next week is literally a stream of joy. And in the midst of our enjoyment (which of course involved a lot of BiJiu), I was a little surprised by the knowledge I have acquired over the 25 months i have lived here. The Swedish Trio are all very smart, observant kids; and the questions they asked within their first 24 hours made me want to write this blog. You may not truly get to experience China without coming here; but if you plan to come, maybe a few of the next questions/answers will prepare you a bit.
The trio and I went to the great wall, of course, and I got to experience it with snow for the first time. So I will share some of my pics from that day whilst quickly answering some of their good questions.What can you get in trouble for?Nothing if you have white skin and/or look foreign. Peeing in the street, smoking in small enclosed public areas, drinking anywhere, driving you and your wife and three kids on the back of a motorbike without helmets, dragging your wife down the road by her hair, etc...they all fly. Drugs are likely the only thing a foreigner would get into serious trouble with - and that is only really localized to Beijing and Hong Kong.
What do you do if you're lost?
Jump up and down and cry to the nearest young person. If that doesn't work, get out your hotel's business card and point at it while looking at the taxi driver with big puppy dog eyes. Don't leave your hotel without one or two of those business cards.
What do you do in a taxi?
Do not jump up and down and wave your hands. Driving is dangerous enough here as it is. Get the taxi to call your hotel or a friend if there is a problem. Make sure the second you get in they put the meter down. Do not try to bargain. You will lose. They know the word for police - a single mention of that word will solve any problem.
What do you need to worry about?
Stealing of phones and other small electronics might be an issue in jam-packed subways and especially on trains. But all in all feel free to walk alone at night in dark alleys; eat unidentifiable foods; and act like you were born in a barn. The locals will likely tell you that you are being too polite. In addition, see below:
Why do they try to scam us? bargaining and cheating?
Because we have a lot more money than they do. Be grateful. Also, a few thousand years of Confucism would have you believing stealing and lying is ok too.
Why do people stare so much?
They're mothers never told them how rude it is.
Why do people spit so much?
Their mother's never told them how it makes other people around them sick.
What are they saying?
Wow look at that tall foreigner, he's so tall! Wow look how blonde his hair is, so blonde! Wow look how tall her nose is, she is so stylish and beautiful...Then when they get bored of that the next thing is usually, "Hey, you want to see my new phone?" or "how much did you pay for that?".
The pollution isn't too bad, eh?
Nope, not at all. It was much worse in 2007 when I arrived but Chinese people are changing and adapting faster and faster and now they know the sky can appear blue so are starting to make smarter choices as well as demand regulations from their government. Having said that, some days are better than others and some cities are certainly better than others too.
Why do the dudes have long finger nails? Both long finger nails and white skin colour tell other people "I am not a farmer" and therefore they are supposed to mean they are at a higher level in society or something to the effect of 'white collar'. Of course the long pinky nail is great for getting those tough to reach spots too.
Can we eat that street food?
If a billion Chinese people do something every day, it can't be all that bad for us.
What do I say when I need to go to the washroom?
Do not put your hand like a WC as they will automatically assume you want three more beers (you are with the Canadian alcoholic, afterall). Say "W.C." and hold up toilet paper. PS, bring toilet paper everywhere you go.
Suffice it to say, my knowledge of this land is far from impressive. The China that China allows the world to see is the outer layer of a billion layered onion. The answers to some of these questions might allow the outsider to delve into a second layer, which one who has not been to China might not have access to. But along the road of bargain hunting, street food eating and Chinese opera watching, we also talked about a third layer. Some of the topics included family planning (the one child policy), laws, racism, foot binding and the role and expectations of women, history, politics, colours of buildings, crazy hidden meanings and symbolism in everything, and religion. During these more serious and slightly less practical chats, I was constantly coming back to the give-and-take of how I perceive this place as an outsider and how my teachers and friends see their home.
Namely, Chinese people blame all their worries and problems on the large population. Everything in their mind boils down to the fact that China's population is too big: so there is a lot of 'eating bitterness'; people need to work harder; wages are lower; lines are longer; 'competition is fierce'. And from what I have heard many North American's say, the large majority of China's challenges are due to their Communist government.
But I don't and I know a lot of other Westerners don't see it that simply. Yeah the large population causes of a lot of day to day conflict and annoyance. But the real stuff - the big stuff - in my mind all starts back 5000 years ago. I don't want to put you to sleep but I recommend one day asking me, if you are interested. For now I will leave you with an old Chinese folk tale.
井底之蛙，所见不广
一口废井里住着一只青蛙。有一天青蛙在井边碰上了一只从海里来的大龟。
青蛙就对海龟夸口说： "你看，我住在这里多快乐！那些虾和蝌蚪，谁也此不上我。我是这个井里的主人，在这里快活无比。你为什么不到井里来游玩下呢！" 那海龟听了青蛙的话，倒真想进去看看。但它的脚被绊住了。它犹豫了一下，把大海的情形告诉青蛙说:"你看过海吗？海的广大，哪止千里；海的深度，哪止千来丈。住在那样的大海里，才是真的快乐呢！" 井蛙听了海龟的一番话，吃惊地呆在那里，心里想："我和大海比起来真是太渺小了。"
The Frog in the Well
Once upon a time, there was a frog who lived in a shallow well. He said to a big turtle from the East Sea, "I am so happy! I look around at the crabs and tadpoles, and none of them can compare with me. Moreover, I am the lord of this well and enjoy all the joys of life here. My dear lady, why don't you come in to visit my place?" The big turtle wanted to take a look. However, her leg froze as she was about to stretch over the lip of the well. She hesitated a while and told the frog about the East Sea.
"A distance of a thousand Li is
very long, but it is not enough to show how wide the sea is. A depth
of seven Li is profound, but it is not enough to show how deep the sea
is. The greatest happiness is to live in the East Sea." After listening to these words, the frog in the well was shocked: "How tiny I am beside the vast sea."
A frog
who lived in a well all his life never knew what the real body of waters
was until a sea turtle told him about it.......
