Recently in life Category
Hi.
I'm sitting in bed now, playing some Chinese Buddhist music to you on my belly. I hope it makes you feel as calm, peaceful and happy as it makes me feel.
Sorry it has taken me so long to write. It's not that I haven't though of you often. It's just that a lot is going on. I can only hope that by the time you read this I have been able to make sense of it all and provide you with a loving, safe home. For now your dad and I are struggling a bit. We have different ideas of what we should do now and he has decided not to be in a relationship with me or let us be in his home. I am sad about this but not angry. I am feeling rejected but stronger for it. I am sure by now you know that your mom is one tough cookie. I know you will be too one day.
One of the many things I have learned in my 31 years is that
change is a constant in life. Sometimes change is sad and hard but it always
works out for the best. Much of life is our perception of it. To be able to see
everything in a positive light is a skill that I promise to try to cultivate in you.
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Today I want to tell you a bit about the scallywag you already are. And how much I already love you, even without yet setting eyes on you, smelling you, touching you, or hearing you cry. I want to give you everything in the world and I hope I don't disappoint you too much. Know that I will always try my best.
You kicked just now. No surprises there. You are so active and full of joy! But you are sensitive too. I know you feel what I feel now, and I am sorry for not being as happy or at peace as I would have liked while you develop inside of me.
Developing inside of me... It happens all over. All mammals and some other animals too. And I have seen it happen to many other women but when it actually happens to you, it is the strangest thing in the world. It is surreal thinking about when your fingernails develop, your fingerprints, your ability to hear, your ability to suck your thumb - all inside of me.
I found out about you very early on. I was only six weeks pregnant and you were just a little sac on the screen. Your dad and I were really excited and even then we both felt very lucky.
Like clockwork, two weeks later I started getting sick. Think of the sickest you've ever been with the flu. Then feel that way for 8 weeks. I worried it would never end, especially when I read about how sometimes it doesn't end for some women. Now it feels like years ago, even though it was only months. We don't know exactly what causes "morning sickness" now except that it is from hormones. I am sure by the time you read this they will know the cause down to the atomic level, and have all sorts of cures.
At about 16 weeks, again like clockwork, I felt you move for
the first time. I was out at the rental shop with your Grams and Gramps up at
Silver Star. There were lots of people around and I was feeling really excited.
Suddenly, I felt these tiny little bubbles, just inside of my belly button. I
turned to your Grams and said "I think I just felt the baby move for the first
time!" I was red in the face and in a bit of shock. Grams was so excited she
didn't stop telling everyone for days. It was a Christmas present for us all. It's like you already felt all of the love we had for you.
Since around that time my energy has come back. I feel good physically now and I feel you rolling around all day and night. You especially seem to like it when I've eaten or when I am lying down. Lately I've been playing a game with you in bed. When you kick I lightly poke you back. Then you kick and I poke you again. It will be another four months until you come outside of me and we get to play. But I know already we will have a lot of fun together. Please never forget to have fun with me.
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I wrote a list of what I want you to be and have when you grow up. Although I am sure much like everything else in life, this too may change, but right now this is what I want for you, my one true love:
- Education: knowledge and a love for learning
- Health: a good diet, fun exercise, and spiritual awareness
- Compassion and openness
- Confidence and independence
- Fun and joy
- Gratitude
- Balance
Someone asked me recently what I wanted you to be when you grow up and I immediately said, "Happy". To me that means doing what makes you feel alive, pursuing your passion, and giving and receiving love.
On this day and forever more, I wish you pure happiness, baby.
All of my love,
Mum.
I've known for almost 2 months but I've still not had much time to absorb it all. Instead, I've been madly trying to survive a full time job, the election, and a 24 hour hangover.... morning sickness is an all day, all night affair - one that I have been dealing with for 8 weeks and counting, causing me to actually lose weight instead of gain it even with a little peach inside of me now.
Amidst the re-named by me 24-7 sickness sits proudly the pregnancy hormones causing it - moreover causing me to be so extremely calm and cool about it all that even I am beginning to think I might be going crazy. Of course I have a lot of fears and a zillion things to worry about - namely, where I am going to live and what I am going to do. But somehow these great hormones just make it all seem like no big thing.
Now, you, like many others, probably have a hundred
questions.
Well, let me go through some of the typical Q and A's for you and if you still have little things nagging by all means email me!
Who is this Keith guy?
"The Italian", as he was formerly known as and is still referred to is actually from Victoria (his parents are from Italy, and god does his mum make a great pesto). He works in real estate/financing and dabbles in his own side projects. He is a pretty good soccer player and drummer and cook. When we first started seeing each other I could run circles around him, which served to motivate him to a point where I can't even keep up with him anymore. I took him on his first bike tour ever (through the Okanagan in June) and I guess it won't be our last!
When are you due?
In the first week of June, 2012. Fingers crossed for June 9th so that the baby's birthday is 06/09/12- a good mathematical birthday!
Is it a boy or a girl?
Recently the rules changed in B.C. so that parents can only
find out the gender of their baby if they go have a special 3D ultrasound in a
private clinic. That is a bit WASPey to me so I am voting to hold out until the
baby is born. I think it's going to be a girl though.
Why are you doing a home birth?
Ideally, yes, my baby will be born at home. My midwife will
coach Keith and I through the birth and we can be in the warmth and cleanliness
of our own place. Complications can and do happen and if they do then I will go
to the hospital (pouty face here) but I won't like it. Hospitals are dirty,
smelly, factories and more people leave them sick than well. Not to mention the fact that child bearing and birth are parts of a HEALTHY normal life, not a sick one, and so should be treated that way.
How did this happen?
You know, I always thought that if I did settle down and
have a family, it would have to be forced on me - not in a bad way, but in a
surprise way like this. So yeah.... it happened like all other surprise pregnancies happen. But I am pretty sure you'd be hard pressed to find two people more ecstatic about a surprise like this than Keith and I.
What do your parents think?
My parents have been pretty cool with it. In fact, pretty much everyone has. It's funny, the people who I thought would freak out the most are some of the ones who have had the most logical and loving responses. The award to best reaction still goes to Bonnie, for sure though. I called her mid November, right after the election, and like most other people she assumed the election was the big news in my life. Well, not long into the conversation I changed topics and spilled the beans. She immediately broke down crying and I couldn't understand a single thing she said for what felt like hours, until I finally heard her say, "this is the best day, ever!"
Part of what is making Canada home is having a weekly schedule and getting up to old and new shenanigans. Recently I went on a bike tour along the southern tip of the island, and another through the Okanagan. Furthermore, my weekly schedule is littered with fun and games - or things that I turn into fun and games, anyways.
My Canada Day bike trip to Port Renfrew was, not surprisingly, an unattainable goal. 120kms out and 120kms back. I made it to Jordan River (90km point) and the Italian picked me up - knowing it was an unattainable goal and just happening to be in the area (my hero). Just in the nick of time, too. I had only begun to cry a little.
The next bike trip was in fact with the Italian. I
took him through the Okanagan, which he had never been to, and tried to persuade
him that Okanagan wines were on par with Italian wines. It is tough selling
someone on an idea that you yourself don't believe in. But I wouldn't say I totally
failed.
We are both in love with Pinto Gris from Burrowing Owl.
The best view award went to NkMip, for the second year in a row.
During the week long, much needed visit to the
Okanagan, the Allenby Awesomes got together for our first ever reunion - twenty
years after I had moved away. We did what we always did - played Soccer
Baseball, and the best part by far was teaching the children of the kids I had
grown up with how to play our childhood game. The second best part was the Okanagan Springs
Brewery donation we had won, which contained 8 12-packs of beer and a plethora
of beer-related paraphernalia.
In and among the odd bike trip, work drama, and Italian lessons, I do still
maintain a weekly schedule of things I look forward to when in town (2 out of
every 4 weeks). This weekly schedule is probably what has allowed me to begin to finally feel at home again.
Sunday dinners at Ian and Debs are by far my favorite part of the week. Aside from the fact that Debbie's food is the best in the world, Eli and Lily remind me that there is so much more to life than a career and traveling. For instance, playing at the park and watching Cars 2!
Every Wednesday afternoon I volunteer with Crime Watch for the Victoria Police. Even just saying that makes me feel sixteen. The little red shirt I wear, with "Crime Watch Volunteer" on the back, is the real kicker though. I feel like a kid doing it, in a lot of good ways. Basically we drive around looking for criminals, and walk the beat, keeping the peace. No, not really. We mostly just watch for things like suspicious behavior and then walk through parking lots, "locking out" auto crime. The odd shift something exciting happens, like the time I found a stolen lambourgini. And the time we followed a guy running with only underwear and an ipod. I wanted to call the cops but the manly guys I was with wanted to follow him. We proceeded to park and got out to follow him (the perp.;)) by foot. We subsequently lost him (um, guys, cause we're not cops). But found him again when the real cops came and wrestled him to the ground, 200m from our van. I don't think the po-po were impressed by our initiative.
Moreover, I spend many of my weekends and the odd afternoon volunteering as the Business Coordinator for the BC Green Party. So far this has involved spending afternoons with the leader of the BC Green party, who is so awesome. On the topic of politics, I was talked into running for city council in October and running in the upcoming municipal election as a Green in the university riding. The results of the HST referendum will impact the ability for students to vote...more on that in a month or so. Last thing on the politics front - I met with Elizabeth May in the flesh Monday and am going to a bbq with her today!!
I might break down and ask for her autograph... she is so cool.
Lastly, as part of my update for the month, here is my favorite pic of July. An abandoned hotel on our bike route between Oliver and Penticton. And the best song of the month: http://youtu.be/AhxF9xudm04 - Mia, by Emma the Great.
Better People by Xavier Rudd
Giving hope to the needy
Giving life to a baby
Giving care for free
There is freedom around us
We have everything we need
I will care for you
Because you care for me
We all have opinions
Some of them get through
But there's better people
With more good to do.
What I have could be a message
Or just some words from my heart
My respect to the ones making changes
For other lives they'll give their own
Our world it keeps spinning
'Round and round it goes
Human nature keeps spreading it's disease
And our children keep growing up with
What they know from what we teach
And what they see
And it's only a question of the time we have
And the lives that our children will lead
They can only keep growing up with
What they know from what we teach
And what they see...
The sun was out and in typical West Coast fashion, so was the wind. A beautiful summer afternoon, made even better by the realization I had absolutely no plans and no responsibilities for the next 5 hours.
Blissfully, I arrived home, grabbed some cheese and a bottle of wine, picked up my bike, and rode the 6 minutes downhill to the ocean. Once there, I breathed in the clean crisp air, counted my blessings, and thought of you.
Life is good. It really is. But I miss you and being there. I miss many people and many places.
Perhaps I always will; or maybe one day I will find peace.
This was my view as I thought of you.
Whales, dolphins and porpoises are collectively called cetaceans, since they all belong to the order Cetacea. (The name of the organization I work for is Cetus, the constellation in the sky which looks like a whale.)
Cetaceans appeared 50 million years ago, having evolved from land to sea and sharing a common origin with the hippopotamus (!).
40 million years ago whales were divided into baleen whales and toothed whales. The first gigantic baleen whales appeared 5 million years ago.
The largest whale (and ever existing animal) is the blue whale. It grows up to 33 m in length and can weigh up to 181 tons. But the average size is just 27 m and 150 tons (of which 50 tons are blubber (!). Their fatty layer can be up to 50 centimeters wide.
The large size of the whale is due to the food abundance in the ocean and it is also a method of fighting the cold water of the sea. The blubber is a food reserve but also a thermo-insulating layer in the cold waters where whales live. The fat is not fixed to the muscles, but very flexible, slipping over the muscles.
The heart of a medium sized baleen whale weighs 700 kg (1,750 pounds), the tongue about 3 tons, the fatty liver one ton and the 3 m (9 ft) long stomach around 500 kg (1,250 pounds), requiring 1,200 kg (3,000 pounds) to be filled! The gut can be 250 m (833 ft) long and a blue whale eats 5 tons of food daily!
Blue whale's brain weighs 5 kg (12.5 pounds) while that of the sperm whale 7 kg (17.5 kg), representing the largest brain in nature. The head represents 40 % of the length of a right whale.
A Blue Whale's tongue is about the size and weight of a full grown AFRICAN ELEPHANT, and its heart is compared to the size of a Volkswagen beetle.
The whales' lungs can store at each inspiration 5,000 liters of air. They usually breathe at every 15 minutes but they can hold their breath up to over an hour in the case of the sperm whale. The humpback whale can dive to 250 m (833 ft) for 20 minutes. The blue whale's exhaling blow can be 12 m (36 ft) tall! The blow can be heard 2 km (1.2 mi) away. In other whales it is 3 m (10 ft) high. In freezing water, the breathing rate is slower to keep the warm air inside.
Sperm whales dive at over 1,200 m (3,600 ft) depths and Cuvier's beaked whale (a type of toothed whale) holds the record for diving amongst any sea mammal: 1,900 m (6,330 ft) (this means 190 atmospheres) for one hour and 25 minutes. In toothed whales, the nitrogen from the blood is absorbed by the fatty substance from the bump on their head.
Whales give birth every 2-3 years. They need waters with temperatures of 22-25C to do this, that's why offspring are born in shallow tropical waters (Carribean, Hawaii, Australia and others). After a 10-12 months gestation, whales have just one calf, which suckles for 5-12 months. The lactating female delivers 200-570 liters of extremely fatty milk: 200-430 g of fats per liter (for comparison, cow milk contains 40 g of fats per liter). Sucking lasts for a few seconds, 30-40 times per day.
Usually, the offspring measures at birth about a quarter of the mother's length (for a blue whale this means 6-8 m (2-2.6 ft) and 2.5 tons). During the birth, the mother is accompanied by several midwives, which will help the newborn to stay at the surface for breathing. The newborn whale is sustained by the mother by the tail and back till it learns how to swim. Unlike us, whales must consciously breath.
The calf of the blue whale has the fastest growth rhythm in the animal world: more than 100 kg (250 pounds) per day, 4.5 kg (11 pounds) per hour, one ton at each 9 days! At 3 years old, the blue whale has 15 m (50 ft) in length. The calf of the humpback whale doubles its weight at 6 months, and at 11 months is 9 m (30 ft) long. The offspring learns hunting techniques when being two years old and by four years old it is autonomous. Adult size is achieved 10 years later. Whales reach sexual maturity when 4-5 years old.
The blue whale also possesses the largest penis in the world at 2.4 m long (hung like a whale).
Bowhead whales are estimated to reach a longevity up to 200 years and whales are the most long-living warm-blooded animals. Only some reptiles (giant turtles) live longer. Male sperm whales don't attain their full size until they are 50 years old!
All baleen whales effectuate long migrations (up to 25,000 km or 16,000 mi annually): they breed and give birth in subtropical-tropical waters and travel to feed in cold waters. They orientate in their journeys towards the Sun, Moon and Earth's electromagnetic field.
The so-called killer whales can be 9.5 m (32 ft) long, 6 tons heavy and have 50 dagger-like teeth.
These predators attack penguins, seals, dolphins and baleen whales (the huge blue whale included, when in pack) but, despite their name, they are not whales but oversized dolphins! They are a whale's only natural predator (human predation is not considered natural).
Whales are famous for their singing, especially the blue and humpback whales. Their song can have different reasons: getting a mate, social interaction, alarm, keeping inter-individual distance, feeding, prey location and so on.
The blue whale's song has 155 and 188 decibels, thus this is the loudest animal in the world (by comparison, a pneumatic drill is about 100 dB). But blue whales sing at frequencies, between 10 and 40 Hz and infrasounds under 20 Hz cannot be heard by humans. Infrasound travels further than audible sounds, so whales can communicate at distances of 185 km (115 mi). The song of the blue whales is 10 seconds to 2 minutes long, while humpback whales sing for 5 to 30 minutes. The songs of the humpback whales have frequencies of 20-450 Hz and can be clearly heard by humans.
Class is over.
I spent this entire week working up in Alert Bay, the "home of the killer whale" and a beautiful little town of one thousand people. Alert Bay is a great place to visit but I don't know if I could live in a place with only one coffee shop, one grocery store, and a single gas station which is open from 11 o 2, Monday through to Thursday. I'm no city girl but that was pushing it even for 5 days. Next time I go I will be sure to bring more provisions (books and wine) and maybe I will learn to live in true isolation the more I am up there. Until then, I went to Starbucks twice today - just to make sure I was still alive.
One last thing.
On the way to Alert Bay on Monday I did something that certainly not everyone gets the chance to do.
I drove my first plane, for my first flight lesson. The goal is that by May of 2012 I will have my pilot's license. I will pick my mum up at her home on Kal lake and I will take her to a picnic on the ocean for mother's day.
Driving a plane was about as exhilarating and frightening as you can imagine.
Aren't humans a strange animal? We pay to be challenged and frightened.
This is a picture from the driver's seat. A perfect view of the San Juan Islands.
All that saving whales, flying planes, and the odd sangria party coupled with a new addiction to Rock Band reminds me of a traditional Native American story so I will end this month's blog with The Story of the Hummingbird (my own version, naturally).
Long ago in the Ancient Canadian West Coast Rainforest, sudden lightning struck, and a fire began. In the middle of the night alarms went off and all of the forest animals ran wildly, not knowing what to do. As with any sudden emergency, the animals ran - not wanting to leave their homes but thinking that if they did not get away from the fire, they would surely die. Amidst the chaos, they all began running East together.
As they ran, they began to notice a small humming bird going back and forth above them. It would zoom ahead of them and then zip back against the grain. Not long after it would zoom past them again. They ran for their lives and did not have much time to worry about the other animals. Finally though, a deer asked the humming bird as it zipped back against the grain, "What are you doing, hummy, we need to get out of here!?" The miniature bird heard the deer and stopped to look at him while he ran with the group, but quickly zipped away. On route, zooming back, the humming bird stopped before the deer, "I'm just doing what I can," he said as he passed.
As the hummingbird flew against the flow again, it slowed down and in front of the deer and opened it's mouth. In it, the deer saw water. He was trying to put out the fire. Or at least do what he could. The deer was shocked. But did not slow, let alone stop to help.
Now, what if all of the forest animals had taken that approach. Perhaps there would no longer be a fire to run from.
PS. I love Sangrias and I love my sister.
PPS, the secret to the Secret Ingredient Sangria is...there is no secret ingredient.
