Recently in Musings Category
Better People by Xavier Rudd
Giving hope to the needy
Giving life to a baby
Giving care for free
There is freedom around us
We have everything we need
I will care for you
Because you care for me
We all have opinions
Some of them get through
But there's better people
With more good to do.
What I have could be a message
Or just some words from my heart
My respect to the ones making changes
For other lives they'll give their own
Our world it keeps spinning
'Round and round it goes
Human nature keeps spreading it's disease
And our children keep growing up with
What they know from what we teach
And what they see
And it's only a question of the time we have
And the lives that our children will lead
They can only keep growing up with
What they know from what we teach
And what they see...
The sun was out and in typical West Coast fashion, so was the wind. A beautiful summer afternoon, made even better by the realization I had absolutely no plans and no responsibilities for the next 5 hours.
Blissfully, I arrived home, grabbed some cheese and a bottle of wine, picked up my bike, and rode the 6 minutes downhill to the ocean. Once there, I breathed in the clean crisp air, counted my blessings, and thought of you.
Life is good. It really is. But I miss you and being there. I miss many people and many places.
Perhaps I always will; or maybe one day I will find peace.
This was my view as I thought of you.
Whales, dolphins and porpoises are collectively called cetaceans, since they all belong to the order Cetacea. (The name of the organization I work for is Cetus, the constellation in the sky which looks like a whale.)
Cetaceans appeared 50 million years ago, having evolved from land to sea and sharing a common origin with the hippopotamus (!).
40 million years ago whales were divided into baleen whales and toothed whales. The first gigantic baleen whales appeared 5 million years ago.
The largest whale (and ever existing animal) is the blue whale. It grows up to 33 m in length and can weigh up to 181 tons. But the average size is just 27 m and 150 tons (of which 50 tons are blubber (!). Their fatty layer can be up to 50 centimeters wide.
The large size of the whale is due to the food abundance in the ocean and it is also a method of fighting the cold water of the sea. The blubber is a food reserve but also a thermo-insulating layer in the cold waters where whales live. The fat is not fixed to the muscles, but very flexible, slipping over the muscles.
The heart of a medium sized baleen whale weighs 700 kg (1,750 pounds), the tongue about 3 tons, the fatty liver one ton and the 3 m (9 ft) long stomach around 500 kg (1,250 pounds), requiring 1,200 kg (3,000 pounds) to be filled! The gut can be 250 m (833 ft) long and a blue whale eats 5 tons of food daily!
Blue whale's brain weighs 5 kg (12.5 pounds) while that of the sperm whale 7 kg (17.5 kg), representing the largest brain in nature. The head represents 40 % of the length of a right whale.
A Blue Whale's tongue is about the size and weight of a full grown AFRICAN ELEPHANT, and its heart is compared to the size of a Volkswagen beetle.
The whales' lungs can store at each inspiration 5,000 liters of air. They usually breathe at every 15 minutes but they can hold their breath up to over an hour in the case of the sperm whale. The humpback whale can dive to 250 m (833 ft) for 20 minutes. The blue whale's exhaling blow can be 12 m (36 ft) tall! The blow can be heard 2 km (1.2 mi) away. In other whales it is 3 m (10 ft) high. In freezing water, the breathing rate is slower to keep the warm air inside.
Sperm whales dive at over 1,200 m (3,600 ft) depths and Cuvier's beaked whale (a type of toothed whale) holds the record for diving amongst any sea mammal: 1,900 m (6,330 ft) (this means 190 atmospheres) for one hour and 25 minutes. In toothed whales, the nitrogen from the blood is absorbed by the fatty substance from the bump on their head.
Whales give birth every 2-3 years. They need waters with temperatures of 22-25C to do this, that's why offspring are born in shallow tropical waters (Carribean, Hawaii, Australia and others). After a 10-12 months gestation, whales have just one calf, which suckles for 5-12 months. The lactating female delivers 200-570 liters of extremely fatty milk: 200-430 g of fats per liter (for comparison, cow milk contains 40 g of fats per liter). Sucking lasts for a few seconds, 30-40 times per day.
Usually, the offspring measures at birth about a quarter of the mother's length (for a blue whale this means 6-8 m (2-2.6 ft) and 2.5 tons). During the birth, the mother is accompanied by several midwives, which will help the newborn to stay at the surface for breathing. The newborn whale is sustained by the mother by the tail and back till it learns how to swim. Unlike us, whales must consciously breath.
The calf of the blue whale has the fastest growth rhythm in the animal world: more than 100 kg (250 pounds) per day, 4.5 kg (11 pounds) per hour, one ton at each 9 days! At 3 years old, the blue whale has 15 m (50 ft) in length. The calf of the humpback whale doubles its weight at 6 months, and at 11 months is 9 m (30 ft) long. The offspring learns hunting techniques when being two years old and by four years old it is autonomous. Adult size is achieved 10 years later. Whales reach sexual maturity when 4-5 years old.
The blue whale also possesses the largest penis in the world at 2.4 m long (hung like a whale).
Bowhead whales are estimated to reach a longevity up to 200 years and whales are the most long-living warm-blooded animals. Only some reptiles (giant turtles) live longer. Male sperm whales don't attain their full size until they are 50 years old!
All baleen whales effectuate long migrations (up to 25,000 km or 16,000 mi annually): they breed and give birth in subtropical-tropical waters and travel to feed in cold waters. They orientate in their journeys towards the Sun, Moon and Earth's electromagnetic field.
The so-called killer whales can be 9.5 m (32 ft) long, 6 tons heavy and have 50 dagger-like teeth.
These predators attack penguins, seals, dolphins and baleen whales (the huge blue whale included, when in pack) but, despite their name, they are not whales but oversized dolphins! They are a whale's only natural predator (human predation is not considered natural).
Whales are famous for their singing, especially the blue and humpback whales. Their song can have different reasons: getting a mate, social interaction, alarm, keeping inter-individual distance, feeding, prey location and so on.
The blue whale's song has 155 and 188 decibels, thus this is the loudest animal in the world (by comparison, a pneumatic drill is about 100 dB). But blue whales sing at frequencies, between 10 and 40 Hz and infrasounds under 20 Hz cannot be heard by humans. Infrasound travels further than audible sounds, so whales can communicate at distances of 185 km (115 mi). The song of the blue whales is 10 seconds to 2 minutes long, while humpback whales sing for 5 to 30 minutes. The songs of the humpback whales have frequencies of 20-450 Hz and can be clearly heard by humans.
Class is over.
I spent this entire week working up in Alert Bay, the "home of the killer whale" and a beautiful little town of one thousand people. Alert Bay is a great place to visit but I don't know if I could live in a place with only one coffee shop, one grocery store, and a single gas station which is open from 11 o 2, Monday through to Thursday. I'm no city girl but that was pushing it even for 5 days. Next time I go I will be sure to bring more provisions (books and wine) and maybe I will learn to live in true isolation the more I am up there. Until then, I went to Starbucks twice today - just to make sure I was still alive.
One last thing.
On the way to Alert Bay on Monday I did something that certainly not everyone gets the chance to do.
I drove my first plane, for my first flight lesson. The goal is that by May of 2012 I will have my pilot's license. I will pick my mum up at her home on Kal lake and I will take her to a picnic on the ocean for mother's day.
Driving a plane was about as exhilarating and frightening as you can imagine.
Aren't humans a strange animal? We pay to be challenged and frightened.
This is a picture from the driver's seat. A perfect view of the San Juan Islands.
All that saving whales, flying planes, and the odd sangria party coupled with a new addiction to Rock Band reminds me of a traditional Native American story so I will end this month's blog with The Story of the Hummingbird (my own version, naturally).
Long ago in the Ancient Canadian West Coast Rainforest, sudden lightning struck, and a fire began. In the middle of the night alarms went off and all of the forest animals ran wildly, not knowing what to do. As with any sudden emergency, the animals ran - not wanting to leave their homes but thinking that if they did not get away from the fire, they would surely die. Amidst the chaos, they all began running East together.
As they ran, they began to notice a small humming bird going back and forth above them. It would zoom ahead of them and then zip back against the grain. Not long after it would zoom past them again. They ran for their lives and did not have much time to worry about the other animals. Finally though, a deer asked the humming bird as it zipped back against the grain, "What are you doing, hummy, we need to get out of here!?" The miniature bird heard the deer and stopped to look at him while he ran with the group, but quickly zipped away. On route, zooming back, the humming bird stopped before the deer, "I'm just doing what I can," he said as he passed.
As the hummingbird flew against the flow again, it slowed down and in front of the deer and opened it's mouth. In it, the deer saw water. He was trying to put out the fire. Or at least do what he could. The deer was shocked. But did not slow, let alone stop to help.
Now, what if all of the forest animals had taken that approach. Perhaps there would no longer be a fire to run from.
PS. I love Sangrias and I love my sister.
PPS, the secret to the Secret Ingredient Sangria is...there is no secret ingredient.
On the fourth day of the fourth month
I sit, contemplating my fate.
It began and ended as the bulbs of Spring
Broke the soil in a far off state.
I was there once.
I am here now.
In a land where Spring slowly yields to Summer,
Powerless, I grieve our lost dreams;
Helpless, holding only your image now;
Hopeless and unwilling to let go somehow.
I would love Spring forever.
It no longer wants to be.
Music, travel, nature, stories -
These old friends are now enemies.
All passions bring you to me,
Constant, uncontrollable memories.
So short a time to love you.
So long a time to let you go.
Last night, still drunk, I fell asleep
In clothes once worn for you.
You met me there, your face so clear.
I felt your heart, you share my sorrow.
My home is far off in a yellow land of rice.
My heart is further still, buried by vineyards.
I dream you come to my door,
Much like I have yearned before;
When I longingly waited that whole day,
Standing still, where you sent me away.
Homesick while at home.
Heartsick everywhere, unending.
Not long ago we held each other,
Cared and loved - in sleep and in life.
A perfect match, we fit together;
So right we would have loved forever.
Hopelessness and dread,
That you might never return.
Sunshine rises - brimming, begging.
It was once a friend of ours,
But like me it is lost now too
Counting each day without you.
Fear that tomorrow will be like today
Fear that today was equal to yesterday.
With the rising sun the wind blows in a new day.
Sitting inside I am a cat, warming in the window.
Yet even that brings me close to my old love:
I was his kitten, he was my sun above.
They were all wrong when they said
Time
heals all wounds.
Searching for anything real to grasp,
I take comfort in the cherry blossoms;
One thing we never did share.
All else is saturated - ubiquitously you.
I
choose the slow agony of not letting go,
So you can remain in my memory, perfect .
The cherry blossoms fall now onto the sidewalk,
Where they are walked on - forgotten.
Once beautiful, they are quickly blown
Away further still - a place unknown.
I watch their destiny unfold
Sadly, submitting, relating.
Unfortunately for me I never did get to live in France long enough to unearth all of her Francaiseness. I didn't even go to a single chateau or winery (WTF!?). I did, however, learn some useful things, elicit a few entertaining quotes, have some deep thoughts, and received some niceness in Nice.
The following are a few last stories I'd like to share with you from France.
You've likely noticed from my tone in the few blogs I posted from here that the shift from Beijing was shockingly difficult for me. I am still quite amazed how much culture shock I went through; how it was almost even more so than when I first went to China. But in fact, I've spoken to a few other British people, and they, too, experienced several months of 'anger/frustration/shifting'. One told me it took him over four months to adjust. The culture is so similar but so - surprisingly and oddly - different.
For instance, Meanness.
French people like being mean, it (along with complaining) gets them off. Everywhere you go, you see Frowns. Seriousness. As soon as you speak, you are a total moron because your grammar or pronunciation isn't perfect. They look at you like you are a worm. But I found in my last month here that for the most part this is only at the surface. Once you get IN with a French person, they are with you for life. In my last week in France, my landlords took me in when I was not wanted (nor allowed) anywhere else, and had no other people to help keep me alive. They fed me, talked to me about how I felt, and constantly reminded me that it will all work out in the end. They might be exceptional people in any culture, but all in all, French people aren't that bad. It just takes them a while to let you find that out.
Another example of why us CommonWealth-ers struggle to
adjust to France is Boundaries. Both personal and work boundaries are very different in France. For me, this was both annoying
and uncomfortable a first. Everything new is always annoying and uncomfortable
at first, right? This is due to massive gaps between a boss and their
subordinate or a student and their teacher. For a Canadian, this is a tough
pill to swallow. Apparently we have the smallest gap IN THE WORLD between
relationships such as this. Sorry for being used to calling my Dean by his
first name and giving him high fives in the hall (right, David!?). Furthermore,
French people's boundaries between work and home life are also quite depressing to those of us who know the joy of grabbing a beer after work, or even playing
on a baseball tram together. In France, don't even think about suggesting
post-work-beers with the team. No extra-curricular time is spent with
colleagues. And they work no more than a 35 hour work week, but the second work
is over, they head home. What can they possibly do with all their time?
The Language: It took me a full 3 months to be comfortable with using French again. But (Murphy's law) during my last week in Nice, I have to say, I was impressive - the vocabulary and grammar I was throwing out there. ... wooo! But as previously mentioned, it is not uncommon for a local to essentially tell you to stop talking since you are ruining their language. Not too supportive of an environment in general.
So it takes three months not only to adjust to a culture, but also to re-remember a language of your childhood. Even when you expect both the language and culture to be so similar to your own, Mental note. Apparently it also takes 3 months for someone to go 180 on you. Another mental note. Nothing in life is permanent.
I went through a process of discovering more about what I want in my life while pursuing my Dream Job in France. Becoming a writer has been fun, obviously, and I've won several competitions so far and have a few bites on my book (and it's only been 4 months!) but it is a very lonely profession. Some say, the loneliest. Something for me to be aware of in the future. In experiencing that life here, I learned the difference between Being Alone and Being Lonely. I felt lonely at first but once I got into the swing of it, I realized I was not lonely, just alone. And that is not a bad thing at all. Moreover, the shift from an ancient, vibrating, ever-changing metropolis of 12 million people to a small town, out of the city, with a tiny population of less than half a million, taught me the difference between how a place can Be Peaceful and how we might initially misconstrue that as Being Boring. Each alternative has its perks. Though that too was a tough shift at first, by December I had learned to accept the peacefulness (while at the same time dying for some excitement).
Ultimately, I want to try to be fair and positive about my time in France, but truly, the only good thing about it in general is the cheap wine, of which I drank almost 5 Litres in my last week. Nothing like taking advantage of the present! I am pretty excited to be leaving, in fact. As many of you heard me say over and over, the only good thing here was Sebastian. I don't consider myself an expert, but I have been in love 5 times, and lived with my love 4 times. Although he no longer loves me, those 3 months were the best 3 months I have ever had in a relationship. I was taken care of, loved, and nurtured in just the way I need. I was grateful for how good I had it every day and I told him so. I can only hope that one day I find someone else half as wonderful (pre-mental-and-emotional-breakdown). The trouble is all animals go through a physical reaction to stress: the fight or flight response. I guess it was best that I found out he was a flyer and not a fighter early on rather than later.
Notre Dame in Paris
Quotes by the French about the French:
I worked for IELTS (The International English Language Testing System) for all of Southern France (the same job as I did in China) and it was an unbelievable way to get to know the culture, people, and nuances of a country. Some of my favorite quotes from interviewees are as follows: (A note to the reader, read with a very strong French accent).
"In French Culture, we see work as a burden. Basically, we don't like working."
"French people don't want to have to think about new things. People say we are lazy. We are."
"French people are not so welcoming. I think you know this."
Other insights form the IELTS students wasn't just negative/funny like the above quotes; in fact, I learned to appreciate Bordeaux and Southern France more by listening to them and their insight on it. In addition, I learned why (annoying to me) tradition and culture are so important and protected by the French - the Second World War was not long ago, and it affected them possibly the most out of all countries in the world. Two generations isn't a long time. Maybe it's a good thing they work hard to remember.
Deep French Thoughts
As you know, I am a writer. I wrote a bit about France while here but mostly wrote about China. Of the things I wrote about France, most was generally angry or frustrated. I can't help it, I was adjusting! (plus brought up to hate them) As a writer I keep a pad of paper and pen with me any times when I don't have my computer. Here are some of my "Deep French Thoughts" from my journal:
Yes, French people are rude. But it is simply because they don't agree. Agree with what? With the idea of joy, fun or gratitude. Rather, they have rules and paper work in a vice grip, squeezing hard, fearing nothing else, but the loss of "solidarité".
It's different being a foreigner in places like France. Here, I look like everyone else, dress like everyone else, and even talk like everyone else (for the daily pleasantries anyways). But this 'likeness' almost makes it even more difficult and lonely. I want to stand out. I want people to know I don't belong. I want to stand up and scream, "Hey look at me, I'm different! Be my friend!"
French women are all thin and gorgeous, but insanely frustrated. I don't relate to nor do I feel a connection to the women of France at all. They are in a tough spot, and I mainly feel sorry for them. Currently they are stuck in the middle of being educated yet held under the thumb of traditional ways.
Side note: In general, Europe has been quite disappointing to me with regard both to its treatment of women, and its treatment of the environment. A lot of what we see in the media is a façade.
Bordeaux at night at Christmas
Nice is Nice (pronounced like: neeeese is naighse)
Though the scenario was not ideal, I spent a good amount of time learning about and exploring Nice during my second last week ever in the South of France. (no, I won't go back, unless we do that bike tour and write a book on it, Alex!). Nice is by far my most favorite city in France. There aren't many other sandy-beached-palm-treed-café-lined-boulevard-cities with Italian men everywhere... we all know how much I route for the Italian men's soccer team.
Nice has the Nicest (pronounced "neeecest" (pun!)) people in France. It is, essentially, the anti-Paris. I had some of my first funny and fun conversation with people in Nice since arriving in France. One was a Cambodian immigrant, the other was an Italian man. So no, neither were French, but both were in French, and both lived in Nice. People in Nice care for one another, something I had forgotten people do after my time in China and then France. For example, the odd seat rendered to an elderly woman or helping someone get their ticket stamped on the bus. The little things that go a long way are things I notice in a culture - things that I appreciate.
The last cool thing about Nice is the Italian/Spanish influence in everything. Architecture, language, food, and the even the way people look.
The beach at Nice. Nice.
Coming Home
We had a couple of difficulties in our first two months. I guess some people give up after that. One of them was the Internet and the other was my Visa. France is living in the stone-age when it comes to technology, and as we all know, they are in love with their bureaucracy. The visa was a bit stressful too. There is a rule in France stating that the only possible way for a North American to get a job in France is if no other European applies or is capable of doing the job. American haters! I went around this and used OrangOrang as an enterprise from which I would be bringing jobs and income to the country. After 6 months of effort, I got my 'Titre de Sejours' in my last week. Condition-free. A small miracle. A miracle I couldn't share with anyone. But something to consider: I can now live anywhere in Europe, no conditions, for the next 3 years. Hmmmmm.....
When something devastating and unexpected happens in our lives, we are made to be so vulnerable that we are unable to manage ourselves. That is when friends and family come in to play, and through these last few weeks, I have been reminded about just how amazing my friends and family are; just how supportive and loving they can be. All of the thoughtful messages, emails and letters I've received have overwhelmingly reminded where Home is, and most importantly, what Home means.
A blow like this, unfortunately, doesn't push you along; instead, it takes the wind entirely from your sails. For this reason, for now, I feel I've been abroad long enough. Although it is not of my own choice, I am, in fact, ready to come home.
It's exciting!
I'm coming home this time not just to quickly see everyone, but to really connect with people again. To be there for them as they have just been there for me. I'm even looking forward to it - the new adventures I will have in and around my home, coupled with the familiarity, the safety, and the family.
Going abroad and experiencing, seeing and learning what I have over the last 4 years has been fun. But as with many of life's experiences, I realize more than ever what is important in life. Adventures are great, but family is Life.
So I have to say that this is the end for now. The end of Lindy-loo's Life as we know it. Maybe the next few things you will read by me will be published. Paperback? Hardcover due out 2012;) Until then I will leave you with a thought I had in the bath this November. Seems even more fitting now.
What is life if not but a string of failures?
Like water. It attracts, connects, pools to a point.
Until which it
flows, runs, and finally falls.
It is mere chemical reactions. Hydrogen
bonding.
Rules by which nature has enforced both a predetermined and
inescapable finality on us.
Such is life, then: nothing more then an encoded attraction, connection, flow then fall - to failure.
To be unloved and sent home is one thing. But to then be treated as if I am a disease and avoided like the Plague, with no help to the airport let alone a goodbye? No words can describe it fully. Selfish, weak, spineless. But others' journeys are not my own. I can only accept and try to learn from it. Knowing neither I or anyone I love would have ever behaved that way. At the very least I can be thankful I learned earlier on what type of man I had accidentally fallen in love with, and try not to do that again.
One of my many lessons through all this (aside from forgiveness, compassion, and letting go) has been that life is better when there is someone special in it for you to love unconditionally, and who will love and cherish you back. For some of you that's obvious. For me, I had to really have it in my face to come to terms with it. Returning to Canada, I will keep that at the front of my mind while making some pretty huge life decisions, set to change the course of my life over the next few months.
Today
is my thirtieth birthday!
I am grateful for everything that I have: health, family, brains, forgiveness, beauty, compassion, friends, gratitude, experience, education and fire in my belly. I could easily be happy with life as it is now, doing what I love, being around people who accept me and allow me to grow, living a life wholeheartedly, vulnerable, and open. And I am.
They say life begins at thirty.
Well, I guess I'm about to find out!
You and your sweet smile
You and your tantalizing ways
You and your honey lips
You and all the sweet things that they say
You and your wild wild ways
One day you just up and walked away...
You left me hurting
But I can forgive you for that now
You taught me something
Something took me half my life to learn
When you give all yourself away
Just tell them to be careful of your heart
Be careful of my heart, heart
Be careful of this heart of mine
Be careful of my heart, heart
It just might break and send some splinters flying
Be careful of my heart, heart
Be careful
You you you
You you you
You you you
Took my love
Thought you took it all
You you you
You you you
You you you
Took my love
And now you're gone
But I'm not breaking down
And I'm not falling apart
I just lost a little faith
When you broke my heart
Given a chance
I might try it again
But I wouldn't risk it all this time
I'd save
A little love for myself
Enough for my heart to mend
A little love for myself
One day I just might love again
One day some sweet smile might turn my head
One day I just might give all myself away
One day
One day
One day
