Musings: April 2009 Archives
Hi Home!
Man, I miss you. I just had a long Monday (taught 6 classes) and walked home; picked up my laptop; filled a mug full of Okanagan Pinot Gris; and walked over to sit by the lakeside to write to you. It is a beautiful 20C. The skies are clear and I have another few hours of day light. The Cherry blossoms are out in full bloom now and the city seems really peaceful today. It's a great day to be alive - and more importantly - lucid enough to see, hear, smell, feel, breath - all of this.
(This is the exact thing I am looking at right now as I write home)
Not a lot really to report here. It seems like it's the same old same old lately. But a lot is about to happen so, as usual, I have a lot to look forward to. To be honest, lately I've been pretty down in the dumps. Going to the garden to eat worms... It's a combination of a lot of things; and ultimately I have a lot to be thankful for and it could all be a lot worse. So I won't burden you with my troubles - I'll put on a brave face, as usual, for the fans.
(About 5 Long Island Ice Teas later, I put on an "I'm not drunk" poker face for the camera)
A way I cope with my current state of constantly missing family and friends; being lonely; feeling stressed out; working too hard; and generally needing a break from my constant thoughts is (as I have mentioned before) listening to music. Right now Jason Mraz is playing. A few other musicians that have been keeping me sane and therefore I'd like to recommend to you are : The Cat Empire, Kathleen Edwards, Eskimo Joe, Born Ruffian, and Jose Gonzales.
(About 5 beers later.... My poker face is not so good this time)
Since I've been a bit stressed, I've been trying to think of things to do that make me happy. Sometimes I ask myself what I liked to do as a child. Reading was certainly one of those things and so I've recently made some time to read a few books (other than my Chinese Language for Foreigners textbook). I just finished 'Fermat's Last Theorem', which has opened a door to an amazing world that was previously clouded in highschool-classroom-frustration. It is a book about the history of Maths - but it is also so much more than that. I learned so much from it that I think I will do a book report in a few weeks and post it as a blog posting!
(Geeks shall inherit the earth!)
Ugh I just looked down at my arms and was reminded how old I am looking lately. 28 might be the year that I look back on as the first year of my life I started to look old. Oh well. If there is one truth in life it is that we age as time goes by - a law of life perhaps. Why fight it~ In fact, I wouldn't mind being a little less attractive every once in a while. Ha ha. Who says that! I'm sure I'll delete that later - the benefit of writing a letter home over the computer rather than with a paper and pen. (Also you don't see how horrible of a speller I am- thank you spellcheck!)
(Classic - two-beers-in-one-hand pose)
So what else~ I should probably sandwich some negatives in with some positives in order not to depress you (or I) too much. I only have a week left of classes (Spectroscopy in Chem and Radioactivity in Physics) and then it is review for a month, and then exams for 3 weeks. What's more, in a month and a half when it's all over, I'll be jet-setting to Northern China for the cycle tour of a century! Jenn, seriously, this is going to be the most amazing 3 weeks of our lives. From this I'll maintain a state of ecstasy on route to a whirlwind tour of the Maritimes and then a visit to my Gran in Toronto before heading back to China for another go.
Well, that's the plan for now - but you know me.
Nope, I don't plan to head to B.C. as of now. You'll just have to come see me!
(I had the pleasure of hosting some friends from Suzhou recently where I introduced them to some local delicacies as well as local Wuhan sites - I miss you May and AP!)
FYI and in case you were wondering, China is still China.
Sigh~
Too many people; smoke every where; amazing culture and history; great friends and lots of travel; constant staring; constant littering; Shangbalao central! Loving it BUT I am feeling restless lately and can't figure out why.
(A surprise around every corner - I never get tired of that!)
I'm Definitely missing something in my life, and have found myself thinking a lot about really wanting a new challenge of sorts.
I feel as though it should be in the form of a family. But something tells me maybe I'm still not ready for that. In larger part because I still pity anyone who tells me they are getting married or having a child. Maybe I should wait until my mind changes about that before I go and do something I wouldn't even condone another person to do.
(Wow, it is hard to please a girl like me - I even had my own version of Kobe recently and was bored to tears with him - WTF~ PS: this is a new Orang Orang shirt that is for sale now and is part of the Winter 2009 collection.)
Oh, this reminds me of a movie I just watched recently (Vicky blah blah Barcelona) in which my favorite actress, Scarlette Johannsen (would have her babies in a second), stars as a platinum blond bombshell living MY life. It inspired me to go blond again, and also reminded me that life is a journey and there is no right path or ultimate thing we need to attain. And this is different for everyone. It has to be.
Like she says in the movie (and I have heard myself say over and over)
"I don't know what I want - but I do know what I don't want."
Guess I'll just keep going with that one for a while.
(Why can't all men be like you, Didi~)
This brings me to the topic of men. Why~ Why oh why does this have to be so difficult~
As if life isn't hard already - half the population has to be comprised of lying assholes who only care about themselves. Ugh!
This life has not been easy on me when it comes to this topic.
Two things: yes I do it to myself; and yes, it just keeps getting worse.
My mum once told me that you're not stupid for making a mistake. But you are stupid if you make that mistake again.
Um, I am an idiot.... Alas, I will leave it at that. One day, the right prince charming will come along and sweep all of these bad memories and experiences under the bed and I will be whisked off to a land of love, trust and respect.
The good news is I still partially believe in that fantasy, so it can't be all that bad.
(I love China)
Last but certainly not least, The Orang Orang Project is keeping me busy - and partially insane. We are building such an amazing thing and I really can't say enough about how fortunate I feel to be a part of it. So far we not only have an amazing group of women on Bali Island but are slowly building a team of young, brilliant, beautiful women all over the world to build this vision and project with us. How cool! I really want to quit my job and dedicate all my time and energy to this but the realities of the real world (money) requires that I teach Chemistry to fund the project for now - though I have a feeling that'll be all part of the value of the story later on.
Man, I miss you. I just had a long Monday (taught 6 classes) and walked home; picked up my laptop; filled a mug full of Okanagan Pinot Gris; and walked over to sit by the lakeside to write to you. It is a beautiful 20C. The skies are clear and I have another few hours of day light. The Cherry blossoms are out in full bloom now and the city seems really peaceful today. It's a great day to be alive - and more importantly - lucid enough to see, hear, smell, feel, breath - all of this.
(This is the exact thing I am looking at right now as I write home)Not a lot really to report here. It seems like it's the same old same old lately. But a lot is about to happen so, as usual, I have a lot to look forward to. To be honest, lately I've been pretty down in the dumps. Going to the garden to eat worms... It's a combination of a lot of things; and ultimately I have a lot to be thankful for and it could all be a lot worse. So I won't burden you with my troubles - I'll put on a brave face, as usual, for the fans.
(About 5 Long Island Ice Teas later, I put on an "I'm not drunk" poker face for the camera) A way I cope with my current state of constantly missing family and friends; being lonely; feeling stressed out; working too hard; and generally needing a break from my constant thoughts is (as I have mentioned before) listening to music. Right now Jason Mraz is playing. A few other musicians that have been keeping me sane and therefore I'd like to recommend to you are : The Cat Empire, Kathleen Edwards, Eskimo Joe, Born Ruffian, and Jose Gonzales.
(About 5 beers later.... My poker face is not so good this time)Since I've been a bit stressed, I've been trying to think of things to do that make me happy. Sometimes I ask myself what I liked to do as a child. Reading was certainly one of those things and so I've recently made some time to read a few books (other than my Chinese Language for Foreigners textbook). I just finished 'Fermat's Last Theorem', which has opened a door to an amazing world that was previously clouded in highschool-classroom-frustration. It is a book about the history of Maths - but it is also so much more than that. I learned so much from it that I think I will do a book report in a few weeks and post it as a blog posting!
(Geeks shall inherit the earth!)Ugh I just looked down at my arms and was reminded how old I am looking lately. 28 might be the year that I look back on as the first year of my life I started to look old. Oh well. If there is one truth in life it is that we age as time goes by - a law of life perhaps. Why fight it~ In fact, I wouldn't mind being a little less attractive every once in a while. Ha ha. Who says that! I'm sure I'll delete that later - the benefit of writing a letter home over the computer rather than with a paper and pen. (Also you don't see how horrible of a speller I am- thank you spellcheck!)
(Classic - two-beers-in-one-hand pose)So what else~ I should probably sandwich some negatives in with some positives in order not to depress you (or I) too much. I only have a week left of classes (Spectroscopy in Chem and Radioactivity in Physics) and then it is review for a month, and then exams for 3 weeks. What's more, in a month and a half when it's all over, I'll be jet-setting to Northern China for the cycle tour of a century! Jenn, seriously, this is going to be the most amazing 3 weeks of our lives. From this I'll maintain a state of ecstasy on route to a whirlwind tour of the Maritimes and then a visit to my Gran in Toronto before heading back to China for another go.
Well, that's the plan for now - but you know me.
Nope, I don't plan to head to B.C. as of now. You'll just have to come see me!
(I had the pleasure of hosting some friends from Suzhou recently where I introduced them to some local delicacies as well as local Wuhan sites - I miss you May and AP!)FYI and in case you were wondering, China is still China.
Sigh~
Too many people; smoke every where; amazing culture and history; great friends and lots of travel; constant staring; constant littering; Shangbalao central! Loving it BUT I am feeling restless lately and can't figure out why.
(A surprise around every corner - I never get tired of that!)I'm Definitely missing something in my life, and have found myself thinking a lot about really wanting a new challenge of sorts.
I feel as though it should be in the form of a family. But something tells me maybe I'm still not ready for that. In larger part because I still pity anyone who tells me they are getting married or having a child. Maybe I should wait until my mind changes about that before I go and do something I wouldn't even condone another person to do.
(Wow, it is hard to please a girl like me - I even had my own version of Kobe recently and was bored to tears with him - WTF~ PS: this is a new Orang Orang shirt that is for sale now and is part of the Winter 2009 collection.)Oh, this reminds me of a movie I just watched recently (Vicky blah blah Barcelona) in which my favorite actress, Scarlette Johannsen (would have her babies in a second), stars as a platinum blond bombshell living MY life. It inspired me to go blond again, and also reminded me that life is a journey and there is no right path or ultimate thing we need to attain. And this is different for everyone. It has to be.
Like she says in the movie (and I have heard myself say over and over)
"I don't know what I want - but I do know what I don't want."
Guess I'll just keep going with that one for a while.
(Why can't all men be like you, Didi~)This brings me to the topic of men. Why~ Why oh why does this have to be so difficult~
As if life isn't hard already - half the population has to be comprised of lying assholes who only care about themselves. Ugh!
This life has not been easy on me when it comes to this topic.
Two things: yes I do it to myself; and yes, it just keeps getting worse.
My mum once told me that you're not stupid for making a mistake. But you are stupid if you make that mistake again.
Um, I am an idiot.... Alas, I will leave it at that. One day, the right prince charming will come along and sweep all of these bad memories and experiences under the bed and I will be whisked off to a land of love, trust and respect.
The good news is I still partially believe in that fantasy, so it can't be all that bad.
(If May can find AP, I can find someone - anyone!~!@#$@!~ I just want someone to have fun with and explore this wonderful world and life together with me - is that too much to ask~)
Ok, gotta sandwich in another good thing now, eh?
Well there is no doubt I am fully addicted to and loving learning Chinese. Although now I can hear people slag me - but I can also slag them back! Like the Taxi driver who told me my Chinese sucked and I was like "oh really, my Chinese sucks? Yeah, well your Chinese sucks AND you're a shitty driver!" He was silent for the rest of the ride.
One point for the white girl! But I am getting tired of the constant comments about how good my Chinese is.
Like, because I have white skin and round eyes I can't possibly be able to use chopsticks or speak their language!??!?! Get over it already!
Imagine if I worked at a bar in Victoria and a Chinese-decent-fourth-generation-Canadian came in and ordered a drink and I said "Oh, wow, your English is so good!" Obviously it would never happen. Talk about an ignorant bunch of hicks we've got over here- but give it a generation and the entire world will speak Chinese, so it'll all just be a distant memory. One day day I'll tell my (undoubtedly one quarter to one half Chinese decent) grandchildren about how it was strange for a white person to speak Chinese back when I was young.
(I love China)Last but certainly not least, The Orang Orang Project is keeping me busy - and partially insane. We are building such an amazing thing and I really can't say enough about how fortunate I feel to be a part of it. So far we not only have an amazing group of women on Bali Island but are slowly building a team of young, brilliant, beautiful women all over the world to build this vision and project with us. How cool! I really want to quit my job and dedicate all my time and energy to this but the realities of the real world (money) requires that I teach Chemistry to fund the project for now - though I have a feeling that'll be all part of the value of the story later on.
(Have I mentioned lately how much I love the beauty in simplicity~)
Well, with that, my wine is done. The sun is going down. And if this were on paper, I'm sure I'd have run out long ago.
Again, I miss you, Home!
Please write soon (address above) and give yourself a big hug, kiss, and lots of love from China.
XOXOXO Lindy-Loo
