LINDY-LOO'S LIFE

Bali Bloggin'

Wed, 07 Jul 2010 20:00:35 +0800

On my plane ride to Bali one month ago, I had a few moments of minor insanity, major paranoia, and full-on anxiety. Sometimes these feelings were felt separately, but most of the time they hit me all rolled into one. I wrote a lot both as I got further and further from China and as I spent the first week or so in Bali; adjusting to my thoughts and emotions. The main topic being the difficulty of being caught between a life I love and a loving life. As much as I had been desperately wanting to get onto the next plane to Helsinki ever since the moment I got back to Beijing. I also tried hard to take advantage of those last few months in that space - living that life. And in the transition between these two chapters, there was a three week adjusting place.

Yes, Bali is one of the best places in the world for someone to be. On many, if not all, accounts. I mean, what other places have stone gods of protection with their black and white fabrics staving off evil around every corner? What other place has people preparing and blessing every inch of the ground you walk on and even the air we breath? But I had a hard time there this round. I guess not all rounds are winners, and even 'paradise' becomes reality at some point. What's more, reality always seems to involve one constant - me - and all the drama I brew up in my mind.

In any event, on the plane from Singapore to Denpasar, I was trying to switch gears and to look at the situation with my glass half full and to meditate on the positive. In my journal I wrote: "The last three years have sucked my spirituality and emotional stability dry. At the expense of growing in other areas, I lost my faith in my individuality and even my faith in myself. I hope to regain these things in Bali. To re-centre and start the next chapter stronger both mentally, physically, and what I feel to be most importantly, spiritually."

However, even when we have great plans that the universe would be crazy not to want to agree with, sometimes it still turns out to be more difficult than it should be. Even when trying to attain righteous goals such as my own - a little hiccup here, and a pothole there makes you wonder if you're doing the right thing. Because 'it' always has other plans. Always.

So even though I was armed with some new books, some fun projects, and a group of great friends to be with, I spent the majority of June alone. Thoughtful and open, yet frustrated and anxious. Even now after having the three weeks there to basically just sit and wait and even more time to adjust and contemplate, I wasn't and am still not sure what that was all about. What the point was. But maybe sometimes times and places and people along the way don't really need a point.

During all that time alone I spent a large portion of it walking, running, sitting, reading, and writing at the ocean side. And thinking of the usual conundrums like: Am I an activist? What is activism? Do I even deserve that title, and if so, can I or do I want to accept it's responsibility?
I started analyzing my dreams for hours after reading Freud, and tried meditating on nothing after reading an essay about everything. I thought of a few new business ideas, and other randoms, including the amazing race - wedding, which I figure I'll have to pitch to HBO when I get the chance.
One particularly memorable moment was when I was walking along one of my favorite surf beaches, Nusa Dua. It is a resort where mostly wealthy Russians and Chinese go. I like it there because there is a great little point break that not many people go to, and I'm only moderately ashamed to say that, it's also cause there is a Starbucks.

It was early and I walked down to the shore. There were mainly workers out on the beach raking garbage and burying it into holes. And as I walked past them to put my toes in the ocean for the first time of the day - normally a beautifully spiritual moment - I stopped and looked down. To this.

And I was disgusted by the local customs of throwing garbage on the roads and into the water systems. Then even more by their ignorant way of burying or burning it. This plastic. It's devastating the environment. Our environment is being devastated! I wanted to scream this to everyone and anyone. How dare they!? Those uneducated people!
Then almost in the same instant as my anger burned the hottest, I started to laugh. Who is the bad guy here? As I stand here doing nothing, with a plastic frappucccino cup in my hand. They say when you point a finger, there are three pointing back at you. Who's worse? The local kid who throws his two cent pop bottle in the river, or the wealthy foreigner traveling thousands of kilometers by plane to buy things they don't need in plastic bottle and for exorbitant prices who adds even more stress and strain to the local environment in their own way? So I sat there for a bit. Thinking of that. I sat there for the day actually. I didn't know what else to do.

Anyways, of course it wasn't all just killing me slowly with my thoughts. I was saved by myself, a few times, by a group whom I like to call Team ANZAC (Australia, New Zealand And Canada). Together we went to a place that truly was paradise. Nusa Lembongan. The full moon there was a sight in itself, let alone the reefs, beaches, locals farming seaweed, etc.

The main industry is seaweed farming on Lembongan Island. Tourism comes a close second but you'd never know it. About 20-30 white faces get dropped onto the island every day, while at the same time approximately the same amount leave.

When the tide goes out, entire villages (any age, any gender, any ability or health condition) heads out to theses posts that can be seen from the beach and cuts away all the seaweed that's grown that day. They fill up their boats and come to shore. From the boats they fill up large buckets and carry them to the fields where they sit for days to dry. Once it's completely dried a farmer sells his seaweed for 1USD per pound. Generally to Jakarta or direct to Japan. The seaweed is used for cosmetics. The farmers and their entire families make from 2 USD to 5 USD per day. And this is where they all live.

Nusa Lembongan was the highlight of my travels this June. Thanks to Cat, we all go to see do and try things no tourist does. Part of what made even more exciting was the ferry ride to get to there. This was the ultimate ghetto ferry, with people puking off the side of the top and it landing on the people below. And then throwing themselves onto the beach when the waves were 5 feet high since that was the only way off.

Lastly, in the midst of it all I was running one night and came across my first surf competition.
Here (in the air above the wave) is the champ.

The Last China Blog

Sat, 19 Jun 2010 13:40:42 +0800

Over the next 6 months I will spend one month in one country five times - and in the middle of it all probably go to over 6 other new countries.
Exciting, you say? Tiring, I answer, with a smirk, and a wink.

I've been away from China for over one week now. One week is not long enough for me to have fully absorbed all that I've learned; nor is it long enough for me to have had time to put into practice all that I've absorbed. Three years in a far off land is a long time and I am sure the way the experiences there have molded me will become apparent for some time to come.

Yeah I lived in China for 3 years; and one month does not hold a candle to three years; although one month - as was pointed out to me today - is a long time. A long time to learn things; make judgments; adjust, and more than anything - change. One thing I have learned, and have had to learn to come to terms with is: I am my only constant. And as I've said, home is where my computer is. No home, no support systems, no routine, running is my only form of roots. Well, I guess writing is too. Anyways, for the next three places I go, I've already been to all of them (Bali for June, Finland for July, and Canada for August). But regardless of having been there already, as a traveler and a lover of adventure and learning, I know that one month in one place - whether it my old home or the home of my new family - will still have me changing; ebbing and flowing; resisting and progressing. So before I embark on the next lesson, I want to make some last comments and tell a few final stories.
You know, just take a moment, and reflect.
I will accompany this with some of my favorite pics of the last 3 years of "chaos in opposite world".

To be fair, China taught me a few things I'd like to forget. Namely, asking very personal or rude questions like the first thing with everything is the cost. Or just being a little more bold or rude than I'd like to think I am. I am less caring of others and the environment than I was 3 years ago. I've gotten in the habit of operating more on "me" and my survival. You pick up many a things in these far off lands - and I guess it is inevitable that it isn't ALL good.
Regardless, as I've been decompressing here in Bali and adjusting to the general idea of not being back to China (to live, at least) I've been remembering some conversations and scenarios that for whatever reason seem to have left quite an impression on me. For better or worse. Moreover, I have found things here in Bali I'd forgotten. I have re-found (is that even a word?) things is hadn't even really realized I'd lost. For example, I am on route to reclaiming my emotional intelligence and spirituality - my silence, compassion, and reliance on yoga and meditation. All of these were lost in the noise and pollution of China. I knew this, but I was too busy exploring and trying new things to do much about it. Furthermore, Bali has reminded some of my LOVE of running and my passion for health. But China taught me a lot of great things too. Like understanding and accepting differences. Being able to conceptualize a 5000 year history and how it molds and develops a society, it's people and their language.

Anyways, there are three stories I've found myself telling the foreigners and locals that I've come to meet here in Bali when they ask me to "get down to the knitty-gritty" of China and Chinese people. People in Indonesia, unlike in China, get access to You Tube. And one thing they can't stop asking me is 'is that youtube video of the subways in Beijing real?" Yep, definitely. They push you in, shove you out, scrape you off the wall when the line ends, and don't even think about letting an old lady have your chair. it is man eat man out there. but there are a few other intricacies to the madness. And some of these values and prejudices that I have lived under for three years I am hoping to un-learn during over the next while.

1. Weight story

Not to make excuses for them before I even begin to tell this story, but there is no doubt that China is a very analytical culture: both goal oriented and numbers focused. This can be a strength and a weakness, I suppose. For men, they are analyzed and weighed based on how much money they make. Everything in a successful, 'useful' Chinese man's life is about money. For women, it is how they look. And in an very number oriented society, this comes down most often to weight. A successful woman, regardless of age or height, must weigh less than 60kg. This is enforced even more when one goes shopping and the only sizes for pants in the entire mall are 26, 27, and 28. Otherwise known as Small, Medium, and Large.

When I first arrived to China I was teaching a night class to engineers at a local computer company. We'd often get off topic and talk about whatever they felt like since I knew that was actually more helpful to their confidence in speaking English, and my theory is that it's all about confidence when it comes to learning a new language. They started the usual 20 questions, which in China is more like 3 questions. 1. Are you married? 2. Do you like China? 3. How old are you? Generally they might throw in a 4th. Where are you from? Or 5th. How much money do you make. Either way, these are the top 5 questions, I guess.

On this particular night I was feeling good about myself and therefore even more open than usual. They started chatting with me about marriage and why I wasn't married. They were truly, honestly, quire concerned that their pretty foreign teacher who was obviously smart and funny had not been married at the extremely seasoned age of 27. I took their concern for me as a compliment, so tried to go along with their concern. The answer "I don't want to get married" never satisfies a Chinese person. They do not understand that concept nor can they accept it. So the students on this particular evening were trying to figure it all out for me. Had I been divorced? Did my family have a history of bad luck? Then one girl piped up and asked, "How much do you weigh?"
"I'm not sure", I responded, honestly having not weighed myself for years after learning to trust my body and listen to it. But I kinda did the math and figure I'd give them an answer, "About 61, maybe 62 kg."
The class went silent. The girls in the front row all exchanged glances. Fear and surprise in their eyes. And that was the end of the conversation. It was official. I was too fat for marriage. 163cm and 61kg. Too big. And that was a fact.

2. Privacy story

The Chinese have a very, very different definition of privacy than I. In fact, I know the word in Chinese for 'private' but I have only ever heard it used in the context of 'private enterprise' or describing a 'privately owned store'. I don't think they have a word for boundaries. And if they do, they certainly don't know the meaning of it. This definition, or lack thereof, comes into play in every day conversation (like when the first thing a stranger ask you is how much money you make), to not so frequent events such as the 'salon' (see picture of me getting my under arms waxed with a crowd watching) and the dentist - um, out on the street as usual.

Literally everything is done right out in the open. And no questions are asked of it. As a westerner I think this is easily one of the most difficult things to not only come to grips with but then embrace in China. I don't think I ever embraced it. Any of it. I like my big, expansive, Canadian bubble. I like my large private home with a yard and private car, etc. Not only do I like these things, but I don't deal well without them. I don't like being stared at constantly; asked what I consider to be rude questions (and I know they just play dumb in these instances) or pushed, prodded, bumped and bruised, both mentally and physically, on a daily basis. All in the name of no semblance of privacy. The Communist Party does not believe in secrets. Yeah, right.

Shopping in China can be fun because there are bargains to be found. But as far as trying things on or asking for, heaven forbid, a size larger than a Western XXS, well, just watch the crowds gather. Or almost even more mortifying, the uninvited guests into the change room scenario. I was shopping for a bra in Shanghai recently. Already feeling quite self conscious since every single bra is a size A with padding, I thought I might have better luck in a department store in China's most international city. The store was a foreign (French) brand. With foreign (euro) prices, and, yeah! My size. But they certainly did not have foreign sales ladies. Nor had those sales ladies been taught about foreign privacy.

As I was looking at bras, one sales lady came up beside me and grabbed my breast and firmly sqeezed it. I think I jumped a little and might even have made a squeeking noise in surprise. But my face stayed in firm poker-face mode, and I looked at the woman with a blank expression, waiting for the verdict. "C you are not a D, you are a C." I figured she was wrong but nonetheless decided to try a few on. When I asked where the change room was she pointed to a curtain and then pushed me with her behind it. She not only forced herself into the change room with me but then proceeded to cup my breasts non stop while undressing me and then putting each bra I was trying on for me - even lifting and placing each boob into the perfect place in the bra for me. Apparently I was not capable of that myself. Or maybe their definition of customer service is our definition of molestation?

3. Tattoo story

All women must be thin and beautiful, then get married, have one child, and serve their husbands for eternity. Everyone knows everyone else's business. 'Face' is everything, and the secret to life is appearing as perfect as possible. Tattoos are a mark of imperfection. This is the current reality in China.

The only people back in the 30's in America with tattoos were sailors and jailers - or so I've been told by my grandparents when they saw my first tat. Well, right now, in China, the only women with tattoos are xiaojie, or, prostitutes. They are tattooed by the Mumma, who claims rights on them and the tattoo is meant for all to see who manages them. It just so happens that this specific tat is always on the right hand - and it is more often than not a flower. And who here has a flower tat on their right wrist? Yep, that'd be me.

More often than not I saw this prejudice as an opportunity. From baffling people that I was 29 and unmarried to completely stopping their programming in it's tracks when I explained I was a vegetarian. The only response is a blank blue screen: does not compute, does not compute. beeeeeeeeep. power off.

In the nail and hair salons, many of the girls getting work done instantly connected with me on a jiemei (sister) level - assuming we were cut of the same cloth. To be more blunt - assuming I was, like them, a prostitute (from Russia). This allowed me both an opportunity to practice my Chinese and also to learn a lot - about the sex industry in china as well as about these women as individuals and the choices they are basically forced to make.

Mostly the bolder young girls who are attending University in Beijing also get their nails or hair done in these places now. They, in typical no-respect-for-privacy, are interested at staring at me only one centimeter from my face, and in asking plenty of inappropriate questions while getting their nails done too. A very classic conversation is as follows (I have been a part of this exact dialogue about 20 times):
"Wow, your eyelashes are so long, are they real? Wow! your nose is so tall! Is it real? Are your breasts real? Ah, foreigners are so lucky."
But the funny thing is, they don't mean any of it. I mean, they can't possibly. From here on, the odd very bold uni student, who probably had a foreign boyfriend at some point, or at the very least, would have been brazen enough to try for one, will move on to more interesting and possibly dangerous topics - my tattoos. This conversation, I have taken part in at least 5 times.
First, of course, they ask: "How much?" then, "Did it hurt?" Then I have even heard a few say to me that they want one too but their boyfriend/mum won't allow it.
And again, I'm not buying it. This 'face' this facade.
Becasue when you do not speak the language as your first language, you learn to watch for other things. You learn to rely on body language, facial expressions, etc and that actually becomes what you hear. Not the words.

And so I know what they really mean. They look at me with pity. I have no chance now. I've ruined my chances for a normal life - a perfect life - a life that looks perfect. They look at me like a zoo animal and then a lot like the girls that night in the classroom when I was, oh my god, 61kg. I was not married because I quite obviously was a XiaoJie, a prostitute. Though they are certain I am far too old for that now. So maybe not now but certainly in the past. And therefore, polluted - broken. In fact, the character for wife in Chinese is the character for broken and woman - one on top of the other. I'm as good as broken.

Well, anyways, so, how do you end The Last China Blog?
Maybe a little bit like the way you just get on that next plane.
The way you drag yourself out of bed when the alarm goes off hours before you are ready.
A lot like ripping off a band-aid.

The World Expo 2010

Tue, 01 Jun 2010 16:12:22 +0800

As I sit here in one of the twenty or so of Nanjing Xi Lu's Starbuck's, (like the 72nd Ave of New York) I can't help but feel a massive cloud above my head. Maybe I am over dramatizing this, but I feel as if I have been given a death sentence in a way. I am leaving China in a week. I am leaving this place that I have been obsessed with since my first pair of silk jammies with their Chinese bird embroidered on the front at the age of 5. I am leaving this place that has, over the last three years, allowed me to grow into the adult I've always wanted to be: adventurous, bold, thoughtful and caring.
All I can think as I walk through the hutongs, watch the old people do tai chi in the parks, and bargain with the storekeepers at the night market is "Wow, I love this - crap I'm leaving - this place - my home."

I mean, where else can you buy de-feathered whole chickens for sale on the street at 7am?
I really am being too dramatic about the whole thing. Aren't I? After all, I am leaving for something EVEN BETTER! So I guess not as much as it is a death sentence for me. Let's say it is more like I've been told someone close to me who has been sick for sometime only has a week left to live. Like, I know it is for the best. I know... but somehow that logic is overridden by emotion. What I am saying is I feel more heart break than excitement in this moment. Yeah, that is me trying to see the positive in it.

My second last week in China was spent in Shanghai. Albeit not on my own accord but left to the fates (and as is everything - it was a blessing in disguise) of Chinese Trains. After blowing China away with awesomeness, the two crazy McGrew sisters were separated again - and thus, I again became just one crazy McGrew gal, lost in this even crazier country. But, as to be expected, I made due. Even better, I made history.

I went to The World Expo for a day. It was HUGE. And I could easily have come back for the following three days and still not seen everything. And I'm sure all of you out there have hear great and wonderful things about it. But have you actually HEARD about it? (thanks, Alex, for the following pics)

I had returned to Shanghai from the depths of both poverty and natural beauty in China's South West. And to me at first Shanghai seemed so modern - clean and new even - and, dare I say, sophisticated?!
But...then I ran 20 minutes out of town - "Helloooo!", "Laowai!", honking, squatting, a boy peeing in the middle of an intersection, people yelling into their phones on every corner; the smoking in the stores; split pants; general oblivion for privacy or there being other humans around - it all smacked me in the face.... 5km from the city centre. Twenty five minute into my run, I was reminded, as China likes to do to me without an ounce of sympathy (as we might recall, there was a blog post Title Oh, yeah, This is China almost 3 years ago) - that, Oh yeah, I was in China.

Regardless of what they show themselves to the world to be, the Chinese are still Chinese - and they always will be. One of many traits that encompasses their "Chineseness" is the stunning ability to create a façade; a veil of which everyone sees only the outter surface . But I'll be honest with you, I, my friends, have lifted that veil - and it ain't pretty! (nor does it sound or smell good). Ignorance is oh so blissful.

Getting back to the World Expo - Expo 2010. Alex, Erik and I basically did a Pub Crawl of the Pavillions that had booze and no lines...and Erik's GuanXi got us in the back door of both the US and the Finnish Pavillions - which we otherwise would have had to wait two hours in line to see, and, in other words, would not have seen as they would not have fulfilled are booze and no line strict standards.

Erik is trying really hard here to be excited about the Canada pavillion. he's doing a pretty good job for an American, I think. Apparently it had the Cirque du Soleil. Which brought with it a three hour line up. Pass! But not without a picture first....now onto the cheap drinks and no waiting.

The lines were another matter and a good example of Chinese logic and desire to learn about the world. They stand in line for 2+ hours just to get a stamp on their passports. The longer the line for the pavilion, the more desirable of a stamp it is. And so it goes, umbrellas in one hand, passports in the other, chatting and spitting sunflower seeds all to enter and leave within a few minutes. But they can tell their friends about it. I guess it is a blessing we are all different.

Needless to say, based on our strict boozin-no-waitin guidelines, we didn't go in any of the good ones. I didn't get to see the the robot exhibit in the Japanese Pavillion, and the ...uh.... But I did get to drink a few Mojitos at the Cuba pavilion, a 'true' Budweiser at the Czech Paviliion...and the rest is a bit fuzzy.

Regardless of the fuzziness. I felt quite a part of history there. And was particularly happy to see all the Chinese people being properly educated. In fact, I knew full well less than1% of the people I saw that day would ever leave China. Which makes something like the Expo all the more important in Countries like China....even if they are there just to get their passports stamped, I am sure they learned a thing or two - if nothing else that white people can speak chinese - which Erik and I were sure to try to educate the masses about.

Speaking of this, I also got to meet some really cool China geeks while stranded in Shanghai (who knew we could be found outside of Beijing?) and see some great China geek stuff and talk some great China geek talk. Erik took me to a museum in some rogues basement of Communist Party propaganda from the last 70 years with slogans like "strike down the American imperialists" and "Kill them Japs". Yep, I bought all the anti-American sentiment stuff I could find...under the furrowed brown of my American companion. But we made up when I told him I love Budweiser later in the evening (he actually believed me!).

So I arrive back in Beijing today. I take a train that goes 328km/hr. And then I am here for one more week. One last week with what became the love of my life. One last week to close this chapter and allow for the transition into the next. Yeah, it's exciting. But it's scary too.

Oddly enough, much scarier than arriving to this unknown land is leaving it.
What did I come here searching for?
Will I leave having found it?
Will I remember all that this place has taught me?
Will I be able to move on?

Bonnie's Blog

Thu, 27 May 2010 13:04:40 +0800

(Yeah, yeah this is Bonnie's Blog, but afterall, it is MY website - so my comments are in Italics;)

Well we did it, 8 cities in 10 Days! And I survived China...
When people asked me how my trip was the one word to sum it up would have to be "Crazy".
I don't think you can describe the things you do and see to people who have never been until you actually see and do them yourself.

I first arrived on a Saturday afternoon where Linda met me at the airport (thank god cause the thought of getting downtown alone was terrifying). We hit the train and headed downtown Beijing. We cheers'd with some Bijou and redbull after my long day in Vancouver and 11 hour flight....
I soon learned that "laowai" were able to get away with basically anything. So drinking in public was no big D.

We headed to a cool lounge with Linda's friend Shannon, who I also admire living in China for the last 5 years, and grabbed some drinks before dinner.

We then headed to a beautiful lake and a part of town called Houhai where we met a few of Linda's friends for a "welcome dinner". Got to see my friend Lincoln as well for a quick bite! Great food and good times. But then I hit a wall at about 11pm where I had been awake for 24 hours at that point, so we headed back to the Houtongs hostel and got set up for the night.

Was up and ready at 6am for a Hike along the Great Wall the next morning! When we arrived after a 3 hour bus ride I was ready to go! (thank you, Extra Jos) We managed a 10 km hike up the stairs of the great wall in about 2 hours. My pace was pretty steady at first but after 1hr 30 of stairs the last 30 mins was a deep deep burn! The great wall was beautiful, I had never seen anything so historically old. We stopped along the way for photos and to buy a $1 tee shirt. While we chatted the whole way seeing as we had a year and a half of catching up to do. The great wall would have to be one of my top highlights of the whole trip. Was a great way to really start off the whole China experience.

We then headed back downtown and were off to a Kung Fu show that night. It was beautiful and I would describe it as a mixture of Kung Fu Panda, Break Dancing and Ninja Assassin, and would compare it to a Cirque de Soleil in Vegas style. We walked around in the rain afterwards and had some mango and pineapple on the street.

Didn't find sleeping in china hard even tho the beds were hard, I seemed to be so exhausted at the end of every day. Probably for the best.

Next morning we got up and walked Beijing... We visited a few parks (BeiHai, JiangShan)... beautiful and entertaining!! There were lots of old people there stretching, doing thai-chi, hitting/slapping themselves, dancing to christmas carols, walking backwards, walking their birds in cages around, singing, you name it....all the things linda told me about...but never really comprehending till i was staring it in the face. We visited the bell tower, TianAnMen Square and the forbidden City that afternoon. We grabbed a Starbucks at Linda's favorite spot and then Linda was off to work!

While she was working for 3 hours i visited a 1600 year old Buddhist temple (YongHeGong). Very cool, lots of great statues, and the strong smell of incense. Met some cool people from Holland on an exchange for 6 weeks as well. I walked around the streets afterwards and checked out a few stores. Stopped for lunch and fortunately found Linda shortly after that. We headed for a quick mani and trip to the spa! Got a facial/massage for only $5! The girls there gave me a Chinese name "Mei Ya." (梅雅， meaning strong and beautiful）

We jetted off to the airport and missed our damn flight (thanks to rush hour...at 7pm). So Shannon rescued the day and we crashed with her and changed our flight to the first flight out to Guiyang the next day. The city we landed in after Beijing is considered a small one 300,000 population. We found a great hostel ("presidential suite" we called it) and started exploring the city. The mountains are beautiful in this part of China... very "traditional Asia" or what you would expect in Thailand, Vietnam. (GuiZhou province)

It was in the smaller towns where I started to appreciate the culture, and notice that I was actually in a third world country and could see the poverty all around us. We were definately in a place where people had never seen a white person in their whole lives. And probably will never see one again. We would have people stop as they were walking towards us and with dropped jaws stare at us as we walked past. It was quite a different feeling... having someone watch your every move in a zoo animal kind of way. We would get requests to have our photos taken with locals daily. and little kids running up to us and saying "hello" then giggling and running away.
Visited a local temple via motorcycle taxi after a $1 hair wash.

We headed out to a night market after that, grabbed some $0.25 beer and walked the streets. So many sounds, sites, smells, bargaining, and people! Fun times. We bought some green tea from a local woman that day who grew it, dried it and sold it herself. photo below:

We woke up early and took a bus to Asia's tallest Huanggoushu Waterfall (81m). On the hour and a half bus we passed through some beautiful scenery, old women and men farming in the lands, planting rice, and walking on the street with their yacks. Lots of old dilapidated houses all over.

We got the the small town the falls were located at and started walking. On the way the local police pulled over and told us to get in their car. At first I thought we were getting in trouble... then we realized the police there are more there to serve and protect the tourists then the locals. They drove us in their cop van to the falls and gave us a few tips on the way there. The falls were about a 45 min hike to.... Thankfully I packed smart walking shoes.....not... I had reef sandals where I tripped on about step 40 of 900 and broke my shoe. Linda had a entertaining time watching me walk around for almost 2 hours in one flip flop. Ohhh boy. As we got closer to the falls you could hear the roar and feel the mist. The waterfall was stunning and is the only waterfall in the world you can view from all sides. And we made sure we took advantage of that!

Headed back to town after the falls and grabbed some lunch then off to the train station (for lil' Bonnie's first train ride!) to the next city, Kailie, which was just a quick stop over where we stayed the night and bought 7 pairs of socks for 1$ (We kept thinking... should have gotten 14... should have gotten 14) (In fact I don't think Bonnie slept that night and I am pretty sure she was talking in her sleep saying 14, 14, 14...)

I learned that you find out a lot about a culture on a 4 hour train with them. While I was avoiding being annoyed by the sound of chewing spits, I had the great pleasure of witnessing two women eating chicken feet. One which was sitting next to me, I swear when she bit in and I heard a crunch and got some chicken juice squired on my neck I was gonna hurl! I survived my first train ride of my life, let alone in China... barely. (and I don't think she'll be doing that again).

After staying the night in Kailie we woke up early and caught two bus's to Sanjiang and a 10 hour day of traveling. The roads were in rough condition and Linda advised "it's just better if you don't watch," so I tried to ignore the fact we were going very fast on a windy gravel road with a cliff on one side. The driving there was nuts in the first place, and that was a whole other level... May or may have not hurled at one of the stopped. don't judge! turns out I was actually sick for the rest of the trip... must have been some of those strange fruits we were trying on the side of the streets... or the water. Again we just stayed the night and found about a 1 star cockroach hostel... literally! (but the location, and the price made the cockroaches worth it, right?)

Again we were up early and bussed to Guilin which the world famous Li River ran through. It was a beautiful city but the most catered to tourists. Which, looking back, really made me enjoy the rural areas. Linda picked a hostel for us she saw last time she was in town and we set up our stuff for the last two nights left of my trip. It was nice and great location. In Gulin we had the opportunity to check out some parks and visit a old tunnel of caves. They light up the tour with phony lights to Linda and I felt like we were in Disney Land. Still really beautiful and quite cool... and we we inspired to do some TaiChi in them.

After ditching the worlds slowest tour group we finished the rest of the caves (aka bat city) in the dark. In the park we had a man write my chinese name on a fan for $1 in some beautiful old chinese calligraphy. We motorcycle taxied back downtown... where I was still not feeling 100% but after a beer sitting by a lake with two 1600 bagodahs (spelling) Pagodas, and a McDonald's Big Mac (me, rolling my eyes the entire time) I was feeling almost back to normal! Thankfully Linda "let me" try a few of the western fast food joints to get some "normal" food in me. We walked around more and went to a nice restaurant for dinner across town. While we were there the storm of a century brewed. The loudest Thunder occurred, which sounded like it was right outside of our door of the restaurant! The amount of car alarms that were set off after were nuts. We let the rain let up a bit and walked down what was the biggest Night market we had been to yet.

On our last day of adventure left, we woke up early (what day DIDN'T we...) and got in a bus with a bunch of other tourists towards the Li River. We dressed for sun... but when we arrived... there was nothing but cold rain and wind. While the 5 of us boarded a small bamboo boat, Linda and I had full hypothermic shakes followed by histerical laughter. The river was gorgeous! and a great way to end the trip.

Hit the night markets (and the outdoor spa for every asserby to watch the foreigners get waxes and painted) for one last night and bought some gifts for my friends and family. Repacked and was off to the airport the next morning... I had 3 flights... one of which was delayed and I missed my flight home. By that time I had already said goodbye to Linda so I was on my own. The airline put me up in a hotel for 24 hours till I could catch the flight the next day. But I would have to say I was in the oddest position of my life... Stuck in a country where I had NO money, didn't know the language, had no tv, phone or computer, and was by myself. I sat in my hotel room with nothing to do. Literally lost in translation. Finally caught my flight home the following day...

Over all the trip was great, the cities was beautiful, I tried a lot of new food, learned some of the language, saw my sister impress the pants off of everyone with her ability to speak amazing chinese, witnessed a new culture, quoting Ace Ventura and Nacho Libre like it was nooobody's business and learned a lot about the Country (that will soon take over the earth). Linda and I have never gotten along better... and if nothing else we have a friendship now like never before!

McGrew sisters survived china... CHECK!
(in other words, China survived the Mcgrew sisters)

Linda's commentary:
Tea in a bag; duck in a bag; corn in a bag; tongue fruit et al. that made us both sick for a week; giggling hysterically on the train at the hicks and their non-stop eating and cracking of sunflower seeds; laughing until we couldn't breath at the cold and insanity on a boat down the Li river; quoting dumb and dumber, ace ventura and all the oldies of our childhoods; getting to know my little sister as an adult and being prouder of her than I could ever imagine - those were my highlights and memories I pray I never forget.
I think China is taking a big sigh of relief now that the McGrew sisters are separated again.
Our biggest challenge will be topping this one.... here's to at least trying in France next year!

Return of the Red Rager

Fri, 14 May 2010 21:53:43 +0800

Reporting live from the roads of Beijing..........

I am certainly not a passive cycle commuter and I really do like the colour red - in particular with all it's connotations in this special communist state. The name "Red Rager" was given to me back during The Tour de Chine and I work hard to uphold my worthiness of it while at the same time trying to win the game of "Face" - the rules to which will become apparent in the following soliloquy.

White shoes, red socks, black shorts, black shirt, yellow glasses... as the camera pans in I slowly and coolly put on my red helmet and red gloves, then pop the red panier onto my red bike. I swing my right leg over the seat and straddle my baby... I am now, officially, the Red Rager.
Cue music.

Looking around now I notice the sun is a bit past high noon, and the afternoon traffic has begun. But honestly, did it ever end? It must be at least 330. I deeply inhale and smile as I soak it all in - then choke a bit from the dust and what is fondly known here as 'fog' but is certainly Something that Makes me think there is no 'f' before the OG. But calling it fog keeps us all a little happier in 'we all pretend nothing is wrong on the surface' world.
And I spit.
Sometimes one forgets where one is during a perfect moment, then is subsequently reminded with a smack, kick, honk, or in this case, phlegm.

I am, as we speak, getting reacquainted with Reba, my lovely bicycle (did I mention she is red?) as I ride her from my old 'home' to my new one on this fine Summer day in the capital of the PRC. After the preliminary preparations, I flick the switch; an old Bruce Springsteen song starts to rock in my ears; and I start to roll.
Oh sweet, sweet Reba.

I start off at each light way ahead of everyone the second it turns green. It is a race, of course, to the next set of lights. Which I must win and which is apparently not fun to anyone else on a bike in Beijing, as they prefer to play the game of 'who can get there last' instead. But we all, always, end up at the next red light together. Waiting. or, in some cases, not.

Occasionally an e-bike or a car veers in front, thinking I am a typical "slow" bike....thus begins the game of 'face' as I try to educate the masses and stay alive at the same time.
I win a point when I behave the most serenely - the most zen.
I lose a point if I sneer, veer, or brake...let alone if I yell or curse - things a Red Rager must do at times, even armed with the knowledge this behavior will lose her points.

There's a red light up ahead. Michael Jackson's Thriller just came on. Do I stop? I am not even within the third ring road yet. Things are different out here. It's like a whole new frontier. Almost the Wild West in a concrete jungle sort of way but with more dust and less whistling. The cars seem to keep going and so I stop pedaling but don't break. Still red, still red, still red. The bikes all keep going too. And all the people are going across. Ah, it must be yet another green light simply disguised as a red one. Silly me, I should have known.
See, there is democracy in China. Majority rules.
I continue through and think to myself that the right thing to do in a country where there are few enforced laws and no religion is simply whatever-everyone-else-is-doing.

Along with democracy on the roads in China there is also a caste system. To make it simple I will keep it to 4 levels. The top level are, straight-shooter, the busses. Most of which are either double decker or the double long accordion-in-the-middle types. Not only do the busses do whatever they please but they also get the most respect. Even I won't dabble in a game with these upper echelons on society.
The second highest class would have to be police and government vehicles, and the neuveaux riches (porche, audi, hummer, beamer, etc), the latter of which I try to make my focus of "Face", as they are the easiest to win points off of - being that they've usually been driving for one year tops, and still revere the good old tall nose, round eyed laowai.
In the next class, the third class, we have taxis and bikes. I do not consider myself in this class (surprise, surprise). I seat myself snugly in the middle of slow pedal biker and crazy-eyed taxi driver. I might look like a 2 but I act like a 3. And I've got the scars and medals to prove it.
The untouchables in this caste system would be pedestrians. If you have the misfortune of being born unto this class, do not, for any reason, think if any of the higher classes are coming towards you, that they will stop for you. They will not see you. In fact, you are henceforth renamed 'invisibles'.

The roads have suddenly started to get a bit busier as I get closer to the epicenter - the Forbidden City - and as it near XiaBan (work is over) time. Some 10 million people must be on the move around me now, and I'm going along with them. As the dustiness picks up, the noise is maddening - the cars are all practically at a stand still - and I whiz by them all. Freeeeedoooom!!!!!! I lick my lips, Igtch, dust. Try to remember not to do that again.

Bon Jovi comes on and I pass an e-bike going 25km/hr or so. I am not even sweating or breathing through my mouth (I try not to, without my mask) and I hear the driver yell "Sky!!!" which means, 'Oh my god!'
"Sky, sky sky!!!! A foreigner on a bike and they are fast!!" Oh the Chinese are so darned talented at pointing out the bluntly obvious. "Thank you," I say. I am going to give myself one point on that one... you would too if you dealt with "Helllooooo, Laowai, waiguoren?" Etc all day long. It's enough to make you wanna drop kick a split-pantsed baby the next time you see they 'spitting-and-squatting' parent light up a cigarette in the middle of the grocery store while their child pees in the cookie isle.
Deep breaths.......

A car makes a right turn into the bike lane and across four others. No check to the left. No signal. After all, I should have seen it coming. Of course I should have, right? "Is this your first day with a car?" I yell, and kick at it with the precision of someone who might have done that before.
"Bang!"
A mild hush envelopes the entire city. Damn. I lost a point there. Maybe even two if there were judges. Another car veers right, through the intersection and across the bike lane. I swerve a bit and there is only one thought on my mind "poker face, poker face, poker face'. Oh yeah, I won that one.

Honk! Honk! Honk! This honk! constant honk! and never honk! ending backhonk!drop to all Chinese cities becomes part of your thoughts after living here a while. But every so often it is obnoxious enough to yet again permeate even the longest-lived vetran. HONK!
"What the heck is that guy going on about?" I look back for a second, annoyed he might be driving behind me in the bike lane and about to give him a piece of my mind (knowing full well that would mean losing a point, but preemptively strategizing that it will be worth it). But I need not worry as this driver is much smarter than the rest and not in the bike lane at all but instead driving seamlessly along the sidewalk. That must be why they make them so wide here.

I start getting lost in my own thoughts. I am getting into the groove. "Is a moment wasted if it has no purpose? But how it is determined whether that moment has purpose or not until after the moment has passed? In which case how can anyone in any moment correctly judge whether that moment is of use or not? Why is it that we feel everything must have a purpose? Or we make sense of some choice, some random meeting, so missed flight, etc? Is it true that a purposeless life is a life un-lived? Or does all life have an inherent purpose and thus putting value or thought into it actually makes it less purposeful or more purposeless?"

Honk honk honk!!!!! Tweeeeet! Woah, wake up, Red Rager.
Hard right. South for a light then only a few more blocks East and I'll be at TianAnMen.
I am a hero for maneuvering through this city without a map.
I am a hero!
Hey that dude's got a mustache!
Woah, a foreigner!
Honk honk! "baby it don't matter if your black or white"
Oh yeah, life is good. And I am ....pedestrian!!!
"AhYaWoDeMaYa!!?!" Guess they aren't invisible after all. And looking before crossing was yet another thing mum's forgot to tell their kids growing up and Moa failed to mention in his little red book. Maybe the Communist Party needs to write a New Testament version. Or maybe I do? Hey, there's a good plan for my Saturday.

Hei Mitä kuuluu?

Mon, 10 May 2010 22:15:48 +0800

I am a despondent little lady while I write this blog; but I know it must be done. My reason for depression? Well, that I am no longer here, Helsinki, with all it brings. And my reason for getting it done now? Only more good things are to come - and soon! (in the form of long lost sisters, unexplored lands, Expo 2010 and my last month in China) - so before they do I must grin and bear it while reminiscing on the last few weeks without buying a ticket onto the next flight from PEK to HEL.

This is the view South from the tallest (11 stories) building in the city; which just so happens to have a bar at the top - I'll be back just for that!

So where do I start then? I need to somehow tell you all how cool it was (in more ways than one) and at the same time not get too wrapped up in my love, for fear I will ask Bonnie and all other travel agents to cancel hers and my flights for the next months, and close my eyes and wake up in the place in which I write of.
I'll be back in 6 weeks, I'll be back in 6 weeks, I'll be back in 6 weeks.... and will work on gathering some really geeky facts (like did you know the Finns drink more coffee than any other nation?) and history (such as the 4 wars fought over the last century) for you then. For now, here is just a preview/review of my first time both into Scandanavia and la ville de ma blanc poubelle prince.

It snowed while we were out running one morning (hey, no place is perfect) and speaking of which, it costs 7USD for a beer at the grocery store, let alone at a bar. That and the fact that it doesn't get dark until 10pm already this time of year would both take some warming up to. But the architecture is gorgeous; every building is a different colour and both interiors and exteriors have so much culture and attention to detail. And the air was so damned clean it almost made my head spin!

The Finns are not all tall, blond and gorgeous (just mine is). In fact, most are small, with brown hair...so I fit right in. Oh, except for the minor fact that I cannot speak either of the two official languages (Finnish and Swedish) and therefore am completely incapable of simple things like buying cheese or reading signs. For this reason, and possibly this reason only, I was relieved when I got back into Beijing, in that I understood everything around me again - how backwards is that?
Speaking of backwards, get this -- they don't drink vodka in Finland! Instead, it is essential to start each day with Champagne. Or is that just your family, Bastian? Either way, it is yet another thing I could get used to there.

On the topic of family, if my family were to welcome someone even half as warmly as his welcomed me, I would be very proud (and mildly shocked). Is that saying something about my family or his? Maybe both. Either way, it is yet another thing I am missing now, and another thing I realize I miss so much in my life here in China. Oh that reminds me, my curious cough went missing within days in Finland, and has curiously returned after 3 days back in BJ. Mmmm, crisp air and warm people...is that too much to ask?

I am not the first and certainly not the last to say this church was my favorite building in the capital.

I just happened to visit at the time which coincides with Vappu, possibly Finland's biggest annual celebration and somewhat of an equivalent to Canada Day, but with a few more unique traditions. Vappu is a great excuse to get drunk for many Finns. Actually it's the traditional celebration of workers and students. We started ours on the church steps at 9am with a beer breakfast. You can imagine what the rest of the day was like.

Those Popeye caps are not navy hats, but old traditional graduation caps. From the downtown 9am beer we made it up to Bastian's mum's for a bbq...yep, that IS snow behind them. Friends to the left, brother to the right,

Wikipedia tells me that The current festival is, in most countries that celebrate it, named after Saint Walpurga (ca. 710-777/9). As Walpurga was canonized on 1 May (ca. 870), she became associated with May Day, especially in the Finnish and Swedish calendars. The eve of May day, traditionally celebrated with dancing, came to be known as Walpurgisnacht. Walpurgis Night is associated with dancing and bonfires.

I'll pretty much associate it with crazy overalls, weird hats, lots of champagne and a love for a country with no laws forbidding drunkenness in public (on special days, like sunny days, anyways).

During Vappu I was introduced to some of the more local foods in the mix of the festivities. Finnish food - much like it's political leftivism, harsh winters, and strong character - is a lot like Canadian food: mainly based on fish and potatoes. But there were a few little tid-bits I'd never seen before like the broiled rice in a half pie crust type of thing with buttery hard boiled egg on top (woulda been heaven with hot sauce) and the black licorice.

OK so I could pretty much live on potatoes, black licorice, and champagne....can I.... please?

Over my week and a bit in Finn-land we also went to a few other cool things like a living museum, a Swedish concert, a military defense island, the contemporary art gallery, and this cool old town called Porvoo.

Additionally, fresh off the flight and on the second day of jet lag, we took "The Booze Cruise" from Helsinki to Tallin, Estonia. It was basically identical to the ferries from Van to Vic but with alcohol, gambling, dancing, and very, very few children.... BC government take note.

Estonia was by far my favorite 'place' during this first visit, and so I can't help but bore you with some cool facts. The group I went there with were more into the social aspect (read: boozin') as they'd been there countless times, but over the last 10 years they've seen this place metamorphose. And I got some pretty cool history lessons from them during beer breaks, on a part of the world I didn't really know existed until a few weeks ago.

Known as one of Europe's best preserved medieval communities, Old Town Tallinn was mostly built in the 13th century and put the 900 year old churches (see last August's post) to shame. There are 1.5 million people in Estonia, of which one third live in Tallin (which says a lot since the country is the size of Newfoundland and Nova Scotia) and includes over 1,500 islands in the Baltic Sea.

"The city fuses medieval and cutting-edge to come up with an ener- getic new mood all its own - an intoxicating mix of Gothic church spires, glass-and-chrome skyscrapers, wine cellars inside 15th-century basements, lazy afternoons soaking up sun and beer suds on Raekoja plats, and bike paths to beaches and forests - with a few Soviet throwbacks in the mix, for added spice.".

Mmmmhmmmm and I thought I loved Chinese alleys. The alleys in Estonia have a whole new flare...

Go Finns!

The Goldilocks Principle

Wed, 21 Apr 2010 15:52:28 +0800

It's been a bit quiet around here these last few weeks; as spring finally arrives along with the pink cherry blossoms and yellow wind storms. For the month of April I've been out of town more than in, and on the road more than off. It really makes me appreciate coming home to even the simplest little heatless room with my Tibetan prayer flags and pictures of friends and family. This month so far, among others, I've been to China's Ice Capital (Harbin) as well as it's Coal Capital (Taiyuan); one of which had a museum dedicated to torture and the other to oil. Suffice it to say, my brief stints back to Beijing as of late have been blissfully boring and if it weren't for getting to look forward to seeing friends in Wuhan over these next 4 days away, I might just need a jolt (Red Bull China-style would do).
Are you getting a sense from my tone I am a bit melancholy? I don't mean to imply life is sucking - in fact, it is quite the opposite - but I guess I am doing what might only be expected of me in a situation such as this: where one detaches oneself from something prematurely in order to make it easier later on.
(That was a little trick us writers like to call foreshadowing)

I keep a diary beside my bed. Sometimes in the middle of the night I wake up with a sentence or two in my head, which to me at the time seems profound enough to wake me up; something I or someone in a dream has said to me, and I roll over and reach for this red diary with it's cute green pen attached and I write whatever it is down. Often I wake up having completely forgotten my RAOG (Random Act Of Genius) only to find some unidentified brilliance scribbled in a middle page months later. Other times I remember the dream and subsequent jot during the following afternoon while out for a walk and quickly hurry back in anticipation, only to find that the scribble literally is just that, and I can't make out a single thing I'd written down while half asleep and in the dark the night prior.
I came across this diary last night while packing and had a brief breeze through it; only to find a few tid bits that were not only relevant to my current situation but also made me smile and thus I felt possibly worth sharing.

"The secret to being happy is not to expect too much out of life."

"Brilliance or genius are merely others' opinions. The secret is to find another who thinks you are more brilliant than you are. That is the essence of a best friend. In seeing you for better than you are they not only create the possibility of it in your own mind and motivate you to be such, but also put that energy into the universe therefore forcing it to happen over time anyways."

"Destiny: when that which is avoidable still remains inevitable."

"Every phase in life serves to prepare us for the next. There are no wasted moments - no need for regrets."

"What should I do?" she begs, with tears in her eyes. "Well," he replies, in earnest, a full decade younger and foot shorter, "I guess you should do whatever it is that allows you to reach your highest potential."

Over the last few months I've been torn with feeling I need to make some decisions. What has bothered me most is the knowledge that it isn't really up to me anyways. Something else out there: Gaia, The Universe, god, Buddha, destiny, Mohamed... whatever you want to call that-thing-that-controls-our-fate, "they"'ve already got it planned out for me. But I must like to torture myself so I spent some time (to extremely under-exaggerate) throwing around the "Bali, Bordeaux, Beijing or London" balls in my head. And every afternoon, like clockwork, as the calming feminine Yin energy of the morning switched over to the stronger and more energetic manly Yang, I began to worry, and tried to think of a plan.

So what would/could/should it be? I felt a little like Goldilocks, but unarmed with the knowledge of what it was I really felt. Why can't my heart have heat sensors like my tongue or pain sensors like my back? Too hot? too cold? Too big? Too soft? Too this? Too that? I don't know! Ugh! Now I am tired. I wanna sleep. Mmmm, sleep. Oh jeeze now there are bears in my room!

The Story of Goldilocks and the Three Bears
Once upon a time, there was a little girl named Goldilocks. She went for a walk in the forest. Pretty soon, she came upon a house. She knocked and, when no one answered, she walked right in.
At the table in the kitchen, there were three bowls of porridge. Goldilocks was hungry. She tasted the porridge from the first bowl.
"This porridge is too hot!" she exclaimed.
So, she tasted the porridge from the second bowl.
"This porridge is too cold," she said
So, she tasted the last bowl of porridge.
"Ahhh, this porridge is just right," she said happily and she ate it all up......

Now, just to add a bit of science geeky stuff to this quite artsy and Yin post, The Goldilocks Principle describes a situation, which is just right in a manner akin to that portrayed in the tale. The concept prevails not only in literature, but also in astronomy and economics. For example, a Goldilocks planet is neither too close to nor too far from a star to rule out life, while a Goldilocks economy describes one which is sustaining moderate growth and low inflation, which is seen as allowing for a market friendly monetary policy. The girl in the tale chooses the porridge that is neither too hot nor too cold; the chair that is neither too big nor too small; and finally the bed that is neither too hard nor too soft.

But only if it were that easy - where one was one extreme - another the other extreme - and the third was just right - or exactly what I wanted and needed and just knew based on how it felt. Why can't it be like that?!? Well, hindsight is 20-20, or so they say. And it turns out it really is that easy. Sometimes you have to just do that little thing called waiting that I am not so good at.

Beijing is too cold and too hard and too big...

Bali is too hot, too soft and too small.....

And it turns out, that Bordeaux is just right.

She said happily, and she ate it all up.

AN ODE TO 'GOOGS'

Wed, 07 Apr 2010 19:48:07 +0800

The more you learn the more you realize you don't know. This is to say that I know less and less every day. So it is my dream in life to have a little machine that I can bring everywhere with me that would at the very least make me feel better about being aware of progressively knowing less and less. This machine wouldn't bring me money, fame, love, companionship... no....it would give me even more! It would be a GOOGLE machine, and anytime I had a question, it would answer it; anytime there was a dispute, it would solve it; and every time I wanted to win a bet, I would double check it first.
I don't think I'd need anything else!

DID YOU KNOW THAT Google is a mathematical term 1 followed by one hundred zeroes?
Don't believe me? Then google it.

Ok, so yeah, I like to google stuff ......a lot. I would have hated to live in a time where information wasn't a click away! If it weren't for googs:
1.    I'd never win lots of money from people betting against my knowledge
2.    I'd never prove my points quickly and effortlessly
3.    I'd know about 1000000 fewer useless facts
4.    I would never know how to make a bomb or poison someone with anthrax
5.    I could not keep my finger on the pulse of global up to the minute weather and economics (ie, if/when my weather is better than yours and if/when I have made money from Toyota, Starbucks, or GE stocks)
6.    Almost all of my how? and why? questions would go unanswered
7.    I'd be a much less fulfilled person..... what did you used to do without google!?!?! Honestly, thats like asking what people did before beer....just simply unfathomable.

Bastian and I kept a journal on our trip a few weeks back. And all the while kept a list of things we would google when we had time. Page 1.

So what have I googled this week? This is a list directly from my Firefox history from April 1 to April 6, 2010. I promise I have done nothing to alter any of this list or hide anything potentially embarrassing or incriminating.
http://www.google.com.hk/search:
steve+o-l; white+fingernails; liver+disease+malnutrition; suomi+pronunciation; sloth+ATPase; 100+year+old+eggs; divorce+rates+of+non+divorced+parents; iron+ore+direction+magnet; lenovo+laptop; why+is+water+white; will+farrell+funny+or+die; IELTS+france; Finnish+passport+refused+entry; ; how+to+read+palms; if+you+can't+smell+can+you+still+taste; google+facts; canada+fashion+distributor; asivo+laptop; bordeaux+jobs; mother's+day; direction+of+the+magnetic+pull+of+earth+can+be+seen; world+health+beijing; beijing+to+Helsinki; divorce+rates+differ+between+english+and+french+Canadians; why+is+U2+album+named+joshua+tree; french+wine+from+Bordeaux; 100+year+olg+eggs+china; anchorman+intro+there+was+a+time+before+cable; anchorman+quotes+top+of+a+mountain; asio+laptop; beijing+to+hong+kong; canadian+travel+estonia+Europe; cheap+computers+hong+kong; china+eastern+airlines; china+entrance+visa+administration+hong+kong; copper+in+rock+gets+pulled+by+the+earths+magnetic+field; espoo+finand +postal+code; fashion+distributor+America; finnish+passport+refused+entry; finnish+swedish+bali; helsinki+fashion+organic; how+do+i+say+ok+in+finnish; how+far+is+helsinki+from+hong+kong ; how+to+read+palms ; jet+star+asia; kimmo+lahti; learn+finnish; me+too+in+finnish; organic+cotton+fiber+organic+fibers+clothing+why; the+veer+union; value+asia; visible+light+spectrum+water; what+are+the+most+common+google+searches; why+does+a+sloth+move+so+slowly

Considering that was only about 5 days of googling, you can maybe gather how much dumber I am getting by the day due to this minor addiction of mine. While going through my history, I noticed some other things that made me smile that I have googled so far just this year:
Hussy; how+do+you+say+breasts+in+bahasa+Indonesian; THE+UNDERDOG+TAB; china+interesting+fun+facts; jackson+jackson+australian+the+cat+empire; olympic+hockey+game+schedule; telefrancais; bali+surf+report; naked+china+travel+environment; interpreting+dreams+dreams+with+a+lot+of+blood; voicie+votre+facture; january+26+1985+chinese+zodiac; chinese+folk+tales+how+chinese+history+has+shaped+its+present; damian+omar+valdez; finland+culture; great+lake+swimmers+beijing+ticket+ cool+new+music+from+Canada; the+joy+of+learning+how+to+learn+fun; chinese+zodiac+rat+monkey; hornborg; united+nations+drivers+license; cro+magnon+skull+how+many; acupuncture+tongue+diagnosis+pulse+diagnosis; 46+Fangjia+Hutong; sandra+bullock+hair+pictures; something+for+kate+light+at+the+end; Moldova; Surreptitious; adam+sandler+i+love+to+eat+turkey+in+a+big+brown+shoe; alexi+murdoch+all+of+my+days; breandan+benson; canadian+mulled+wine; chinese+slang; craig+Cardiff; genghis+khan; vodka+history+and+culture; how+fast+does+caffeine+enter+the+bloodstream; human+evolution; linda+mcgrew; matt+mays; slang+for+friends+hommies; south+park+and+Canada+why+do+they+make+fun+of+Canada;

Of course, a blog on my love for Google would have to involve some Google results; namely, on Google.
Have you ever wondered what other people Google and how often? well I did, so I Googled it.
The Google search engine receives about a billion search requests per day. That is 1 per person on earth per week (when I googled what the current earth's population was to get you that totally nerdy fact, I found this worldometers site where you can watch as the world's population, Carbon dioxide emissions and Current average temperature (Celsius) are all increasing before your eyes.

Your last useless fact of the day involves the most popular top ten searches on Google for 2008 in the UK:
1. Facebook, 2. BBC, 3. Youtube, 4. Ebay, 5. Games, 6. News, 7. Hotmail, 8. Bebo, 9. Yahoo, 10.Jobs
And since I didn't know what 8 was, what did I do? Well of course, I googled it.

Ron Burgundy's Version of the Events

Fri, 02 Apr 2010 09:03:16 +0800

" There was a time, a time before cable. When the local anchorman reigned supreme. When people believed

  everything they heard on TV. This was an age when only men were
  allowed to read the news. And in San Diego, one anchorman was more
  man then the rest. His name was Ron Burgundy. He was like a god
  walking amongst mere mortals. He had a voice that could make a
  wolverine purr and suits so fine they made Sinatra look like a
  hobo. In other words, Ron Burgundy was the balls."

And, 3, 2, 1 ..... rolling........

The minor issue of facing extinction has increased pandas' need for procreation. 
The panda breeding center uses all of its knowledge and ability to induce the mating of the pandas, 
and all the newborn cubs are specially nurtured in order to reduce the number of premature deaths. 
The local female panda, who had mothered the largest number of cubs in the breeding center's history, 
had strikingly been named "Hero Panda Mother". But finding a mate can be equally challenging in 
the animal kingdom as it may be for us, and you can't avoid the occasional bump on the road. 
But you've got to get back up on your feet, or in the case of a panda, on your ass, and move on to the next venture.

Guys talk:

Left: Dude, I don't think she liked that piece of bamboo I gave her..
Right: Dude, forget about her. She wouldn't know a good piece of bamboo if she sat on it...

One of the great pleasures on the streets of Chengdu (and the rest of China) is the variety of food stands. Every morning the streets would slowly gather life from the assorted chefs who light up their kettles and start mixing their special ingredients. Some of the most distinct local cooking can often be found in these modest kitchens, and no one will be left hungry to carry out their hard day's work.

Then later when the sun starts to set, nothing gets you going like hitting the food quarters with an empty stomach from a whole day's walking. You will find all the fresh flavors you can imagine, cooked up neatly into a cup of noodles, rice or new baked bread. Man, the bread.... One specific piece of bread stuck to my mind not only because it was delicious, but also because of the beautiful, yet brutal way it was prepared. The chef took a piece of dough and simply slammed it into this crude looking barrel full of burning coal. There's just something about food being prepared in a special manner like that, which makes it even tastier. Anyways, the best part with the food quarters is that you get to taste a little bit of everything, or almost everything. The downside is that eventually you get full, or as some like to put it "you get tired of eating". I just hate when that happens. Don't you?

And.... cut! That's a wrap...

Brian Fontana: Hey, you're making me look stupid. Get out of here, Panda Jerk!

Ron Burgundy: Great story. Compelling, and rich.

Many Stupendously Seared Memories

Mon, 29 Mar 2010 22:41:35 +0800

Occasionally we are blessed with someone who enters our lives for the sole purpose to rekindle our faith - faith in the human race; in destiny; in ourselves; in the power of thoughts; in the strength of laughing - in anything we need at that moment. Sebastian has been just that for me, and so it was with more than a buzzing thrill and eerie calmness that I welcomed him back to Beijing a few weeks ago for some exploring, fun, serendipity, and vessels...yep, that's right (there are 6 meanings for the word vessel based on our google search).

He allowed me to 'squire him about town' in a manner such that I laughed so hard I cried, sorted out my life, and remembered that you can teach an old dog new tricks... "Baxter, is that you!?! Baxter, bark twice if you're in Milwawkee!"

We went to the odd ancient town in Sichuan province.

Waxed philosophically with the pandas.
Me: do you want to hold a baby panda?
Bastian: maybe
Me: wrong answer
Bastian: um... yes?
Me: wha? Wrong answer!
Bastian: oh, uh no?
Me: Hm. Right answer.

And prayed with the Tibetans under their flags and gave thanks with their prayer wheels.
"Be mindful of your thoughts as they turn into words; be weary of your words as they become your actions; be aware of your actions as they become your habits - and it is your habits which ultimately form your destiny."

During our multiple (read: double digit) hour bus rides (some planned, others not-so-planned) we staved off boredom by speaking French, reading, listening to music, and I learned some basic, yet essential Finnish.
I will give you a preview:
Hei, mittä kuuluu?
"hi, how are you?"
Anteeksi saesinko kaksi olutta kiitos.
"excuse me, can I please have 2 beers"
Hyvää yötä
"good night"
Oh, and there were others, I tell you there were! But this selective memory of mine only chooses to remember that which I believe I will need.

Note: yes, the previous 4 picture in this post were altered in an attempt to be creative. But I swear on my mp3 sunglasses (the only thing i own these days of value that is not broken or lost) that have done nothing to alter the following pics. This one here is from the window of the chicken bus we took through the Gansu mountains. I was neither a fan of the dust nor the smoke but we managed to keep sane with a lot of humor and a little bijiu.

Aside from the company, the highlight was certainly JiuZhaiGou 九寨沟 which now rests permanently at the top of my long list of amazing places to go in China. HuangShan is now a strong number 2. And the great wall, Simatai would have to be #3.

Aside from the stupendous scenery in the form of teal green crystal clear lakes, white mossy waterfalls, and flooded forests, the Tibetans with their yak butter tea, amulets and 10%/vol. barley beer also seared into our minds memories we will never forget. Wait, I just realized I am writing in the 'we' form. When in Rome.....

Sooooooo, I just got an email saying I am not accepted into my PHD..... i need a moment.
I'll get back to this post in a bit once I have my head sorted.

Beautiful Bali

Thu, 11 Mar 2010 19:14:13 +0800

I had almost a full week alone before Cat arrived from a business/pleasure trip in Australia. I tried very hard to relax and I think I might have actually succeeded a bit (a first!?). My general daily routine went along the lines of: get up at 6; run; walk to the beach; coffee on the beach; study and/or read; swim; beachcomb at low tide; read more; another coffee; study more; swim again; feel sunned-out; walk home; drive to internet café for emails; eat street food; drive home sleepily; read in bed; fall into a deep sleep at 10. Quite a healthy little routine, I'd say...which was slightly but not fully changed upon Cats' arrival... Mere trivial things such as an addition of about 6 or 7 beers and 4 or 5 hours of work each day were added - what was deducted from the previous schedule I couldn't tell you, but it somehow worked out.

Our first day and night together after a long year apart of course involved beach time, hugs, tears, laughs, beers, and we had to go to none other than the fateful spot we'd met years earlier...and watch a famous unbeatable Uluwatu sunset.

After a few days of catching up with Cat, I'd run into Brad, a Calgarian who was headed up to Lovina (Northern Bali) with a local for some Hindu sacrifices and prayer. I am pretty sure it is a universal law to have to accept invitations such as this. So of course not wanting to break important laws, I conceded. Bradly and I spent the next 30 hours or so learning all about Hinduism and balancing that with doing some ridiculously touristy things (do not go on the dolphin tour!). During this short period we also managed to (in chronological order): see a sun set; see a MOON set; become groupies in a band; watch the sun rise; have a dolphin do a triple-sow-cow two feet away; get invited to a cock fight; get drunk; and get sunburned beyond belief...then just to punctuate the time that this all took place in, at this point in the chronological list, our friend came back from Temple, and picked us up...it was 11 am.

Moon set

Sun rise

Him: you want see cock fight?
Me: Whoa, dude, it's not even 10am!
Him: cock fight!?!?
Me: Well at least let me get a picture of this.

Upon return I had a bit of work to do. Monday we went to our tailor and made a big order for all the stores in Australia. And we had a lot of meetings about our first year in business and plans for next year.

But of course no matter how much we worked during the day, it was essential to end it with a Bintang and a sunset on the beach. After a few Bintang one night at the beach by our house, I got a little artsy with these three boys who were playing in the waves as the sun set.

After a week or so of work, Cat and I were ready for a break. So Cat decided to take me on an 8-hour-3rd-world-boat-ride to the land of Muslims and Malaria: Lombok.

I will underexaggerate my dislike for this place by showing some great pictures and holding back the few near death, near mugging, full on chase, stuck cars, and true vandalism stories. But I will say I felt unsafe the entire time, and unfortunately have a new view on Muslims in general that I never wanted but I hope will one day soon be changed.

The Sunday market

Of course I would never miss an opportunity to embarrass myself at the expense of making you laugh, so I will, red faced, tell you briefly that we did a photo shoot in the back alleys of Kuta for the new Winter 2011 line. (a very special thanks to Alex Pekar for his exceptional photography skill!) And since we could neither find on short notice nor afford a real model, Cat and I made do.
She is a natural... I, on the other hand, am a natural nerd!

Oh, lastly, I might have done something a little rash. But I don't regret it in the least....yet!

Home Is Where My Computer Is

Wed, 10 Feb 2010 18:35:52 +0800

I don't like to ever even think of the negative; let alone focus on it...so I will merely gloss over some minute details leading up to now and fill you in on a few quick things, as well as entertain you with my OCD and that which manifests from it when I am stressed -lists; before wandering off into a heavenly abyss for the next 3 weeks....but with the luck I've had over the last week, maybe never coming back.

First, to start off....

List #1: Things I didn't expect about Kuala Lumpur
1. The massively large Muslim population (which is visibly apparent via the head scarves and in some cases full Burka's)
2. The massively large Chinese population (which is aurally apparent by not only their loudness but also they language that they chose to yell at eachother and into their cellphone's in; as well as visually apparent as most signage is in Malaysian and Chinese - not English)
3. They drive on the wrong side of the road
4. KL is a country, not a city (not literally but i spent an hour on a bus then an hour in the subway just to get to the downtown core)
5. The Indian influence (seen in the food the clothing, the architecture, and the people's faces)

Now onto the goods....
The last three days have been hellish to put it mildly. I lost my favorite and only Roots sweatshirt. Lived in an airport for 3 days and 2 nights unvoluntarily. Found myself yelling at another human beiing and then of course feeling horrible for it (I remember thinking while doing so that I was mad as I have been in years....since my last encounter with Steven, of all things, over 2 summers ago). Missed a flight (which was not my fault, hence me yelling at someone). Bought a new flight. Arrived into Bali and like a pro had my 25USD ready, busted through immigration and out to...oh what? Yeah, they lost my bags.

At this point, I had to admit to myself I was in a very low slump. And I really had to admit I couldn't feel worse. I hate to admit these things to myself. It is like I let life win the battle. It doesn't help I'd bee a bit low since spending my bday all alone AND THEN finding out Cat wouldn't be back to Bali until the 16th and I'd be alone for ANOTHER week. So I was sulking a bit. My only solace was, yes, it really couldn't get much worse.
So...... after filling out the appropriate paper work, and praying to the Hindu God of Luggage, I got out to the sunshine and got an amazing hug from Kadek (sometimes that's all ya really need) and we went home, got a bit settled, got me a phone card (# 0858-5751-8105), then I bee-lined it to PAdang PAdang (my old stomping grounds, watch for me on this webcam). I parked 1km away to give myself a walk. And was still a bit stressed from the whole ordeal. But I dropped my shoes off with the Kopi lady and after the typical pleasantries and one unexpected one (she asked me where I bought my besar while poking my boob, which made me laugh (my first spontaneous laugh all day)) I walked to the water in my dress (no clothes, remember) and when my foot made contact with the water it was like everything just left my body. Everything was right again. Everything in life is good. I almost cried! And then I swam around for an hour or so. Went out to the break to chat with the surfers; walked along the beach to find any sort of science geek stuff possible; and then bought some sunscreen (yep, a few hours late).

(sorry for the quality of these pics, btw....along with my life's necessities for a month was my camera in the bags. So I took this pic with my computer's camera...but I think you get the jist...I am smiling again!)

List #2: Things I'd Forgotten About Bali (you may want to go back and read the Bali post of me experiencing Bali for the first time in order to understand the quick references)
-stray dogs (aside: one must stay particularly alert whilst driving a mo-ped in a 3rd world country)
-Absolute Petrol
-"English" where you go? what doing?
-Kopi and the price of it and Bintang (there is a God)
-the most wonderful people in the world and their absolutely heart melting smiles
-The staring (undressing) with the eyes (or rather, that I might actually be an attractive woman and not the zoo animal I am made to feel in China)
- How slowly things change (or rather, how quickly China is changing)

List #3: Some Surprises
- I get freckles (and apparently burn in 5 minutes, proof in pic above)
- I found myself thinking on the road to Cat's "i'm home".

A note about point #2; list #3....What a strange thing to say to yourself..... but I guess I have to think a bit more about what I meant by that; and moreover what it might mean for my intentions in the future. For now, as I mentioned to an American I met at my hostel in Xian last weekend when she asked me where I call home:
'Home?, I guess for me, home is where my computer is.'

The Happiest Monkey in the Barrel

Tue, 02 Feb 2010 18:57:46 +0800

And the month of February is upon us. This to me of course means two very important things:
1. My birthday (aka birthweek or birthmonth; this year spanning from Jan 27 to Feb 10)
2. Chinese New Year (aka Spring Festival; this year beginning Feb 14).
Not only because today is my birthday but also because this is MY blog, for this post I am going to talk all about ME! (some of you are saying: "what's new?" right?)

I have spent a decade now as an independent adult. Most of this entails making bad decisions and big mistakes. But through all of that I've seemed to become more and more satisfied, happy, at peace, and closer to my goal of being a wise old woman who makes the world a better place. Is it just me or do other people not have these sort of goals? Am I in a minority of people who chose to assess their life in the amount of time I can laugh with someone in a day? Or am I just crazy? A crazy wise old happy woman is a fine goal to have.

I was lying in bed last night thinking about this last decade of my life. I was wondering how one sums up a life; a decade; a year. But more importantly I was curious to know how other people do this. As a scientist I automatically want to break it down into parts - Is life to be qualitatively or quantitatively assessed? How should it be analyzed? It seems to me like many people determine 'success' and quality of life based on quantitative measurements: how much money they have accrued; how many friends they have; how many places they've been to visit; how many shoes they have; their education; their job's status; how much they weight, etc. I think this is both ridiculous and useless as it neither reflects a person's success nor happiness.

So then, if I vehemently disagree with this method of judgment, how then do I think one can assess these things? How can we qualitatively assess a year; a decade; a life? I read an article a while ago about the "World's Happiest People". Along with being a very healthy person, I'd have to say a very prominent focus I have for my life is to be one of these sickeningly happy people. The thing is, everyone attains happiness in a different way, right? Furthermore, how can it really be qualitatively analyzed? Like, how do I even know if I am happy or not?
Well, some hot shots are already on it. Below, the happiest countries are in blue, the least happy are in red.

The first place I found reports on happiness indices was of course wikipedia GNH
GNH (gross national happiness) is ideal in my opinion because it is more qualitative.
"GNH refers to the concept of a measurement of well-being and happiness. It is not measured directly, but only the factors which are believed to lead to it. There is no exact quantitative definition of GNH, but elements that contribute to GNH are subject to quantitative measurement. Low rates of infant mortality, for instance, correlate positively with subjective expressions of well-being or happiness within a country. (This makes sense; it is no large leap to assume that premature death causes sorrow.) The practice of social science has long been directed toward transforming subjective expression of large numbers of people into meaningful quantitative data; there is no major difference between asking people "how confident are you in the economy?" and "how satisfied are you with your job?"

The GNH guys have come up with a way to measure happiness. "GNH can be measured using the day reconstruction method, which consists in recollecting memories of the previous working day by writing a short diary. A second-generation GNH concept, treating happiness as a socioeconomic development metric, was proposed in 2006 by Med Jones, the President of International Institute of Management. The metric measures socioeconomic development by tracking 7 development area including the nation's mental and emotional health. GNH value is proposed to be an index function of the total average per capita of the following measures:

   1. Economic Wellness: Indicated via direct survey and statistical measurement of economic metrics such as consumer debt, average income to consumer price index ratio and income distribution
   2. Environmental Wellness: Indicated via direct survey and statistical measurement of environmental metrics such as pollution, noise and traffic
   3. Physical Wellness: Indicated via statistical measurement of physical health metrics such as severe illnesses
   4. Mental Wellness: Indicated via direct survey and statistical measurement of mental health metrics such as usage of antidepressants and rise or decline of psychotherapy patients
   5. Workplace Wellness: Indicated via direct survey and statistical measurement of labor metrics such as jobless claims, job change, workplace complaints and lawsuits
   6. Social Wellness: Indicated via direct survey and statistical measurement of social metrics such as discrimination, safety, divorce rates, complaints of domestic conflicts and family lawsuits, public lawsuits, crime rates
   7. Political Wellness: Indicated via direct survey and statistical measurement of political metrics such as the quality of local democracy, individual freedom, and foreign conflicts.

And just when I started thinking facebook is my friend again, I came across this article on how facebook uses our information to chart a country's happiness. This article only focused on the US and along with the graph above summarized facebook's findings by saying, "Despite a deepening recession and prolonged wars, Americans seemed to be happier in 2009 than 2008."
This to me is slightly frightening but mostly pure entertainment....I mean, one of your happiest days of the year was when pirates were killed? Gotta love America.

Ok, so we are getting somewhere here. A way to analyze our success in life which to me means our happiness. The term 'well-being' is also thrown out there in the literature regarding happiness and success.
Check out this Wired article on the true measure of success or The New York time's Blog

Then there is this map (similar to the one above) I stumbled upon on each country's average well beings.
"The first World Map of Happiness has been published by scholars from the University of Leicester. The map is a global projection of subjective well-being (SWB), taken from a variety of recent sources, and compared with related data from UNESCO, the UN and even the CIA."

Last and certainly not least (I've been building up to this...hope you are not bored yet) the most brilliant of all:
The World's Data Base for Happiness From which one can learn that "Happiness is defined as the degree to which an individual judges the overall quality of his life-as-a-whole favorably. Within this concept two 'components' of happiness are distinguished: hedonic level of affect (the degree to which pleasant affect dominates) and contentment (perceived realization of wants). These components represent respectively 'affective' and 'cognitive' appraisals of life and are seen to figure as subtotals in the overall evaluation of life, called overall happiness."
The most interesting part of this site to me is on a global level looking at the maps
I know, I am a total nerd. Hey, it makes me happy!

Ok, so there are brilliant minds out there who've figured out how to measure and quantify our happiness as nations and the like. But then I wonder if happiness is also linked to brain chemicals; foods/drinks; environment and other such things slightly out of our control. I feel a bit guilty (I learned at a very young age that most people don't like happy people) when I say this but I kinda feel like I am just born to be happy. Or born to see the glass half full. Is it just easier for me than it is for other people? a ted talk if you are super-bored by now

Which brings me to my second point of today: Chinese New Year.
But more importantly, how Chinese New Year relates to ME....

I am a monkey based on the Chinese zodiac. It is frightening how bang-on a history of 5,000 years of observation can be....There isn't a single word I would disagree with in the information below. And if you disagree with some of it, well, frankly, you don't know me well.

Here are Jasmine and I being monkeys.

The 7 words used to describe Monkeys would all be in the 10 I would use to describe myself:
Imaginative, responsible, humorous, witty, curious, clever, sneaky
(If you are curious, I personally would top off the aforementioned 10 with something like: goofy, impatient, awkward)

"Monkeys can run circles around other people with ease. They are curious and clever people who catch on quickly to most anything. Monkey people generally can accomplish any given task. They appreciate difficult or challenging work as it stimulates them and makes them think. Monkeys are fun-loving people who really enjoy a good time with friends, family or anyone else for that matter. They love practical jokes and like to play tricks on colleagues and friends alike. Monkeys tend to stir up trouble simply out of boredom, which can end up being more hurtful than they intended. Often, when this causes trouble, they expect others to understand it was all a joke and to deal with the consequences on their own. The Chinese say Monkey's are just downright curious. Although gifted with a strong intellect, creativity and intuition are nor their fortes. They can't put themselves in your shoes even if they try and will become easily distracted or confused."

HEALTH
Monkeys believe being sick is a waste of time. They don't want to spend their days in bed. They want to experiencing the flavors of life. Usually, Monkeys are very healthy creatures, partly due to their active lifestyles. If they do experience illness, it is usually of the nervous or circulatory system.

AT HOME WITH THE MONKEY
Most Monkeys enjoy the activity offered by the city life rather than the quiet and tranquility offered in a more rural lifestyle. They crave being in the middle of things, enjoying life from a spectator's view. They also enjoy people-watching and can amuse themselves for hours at a time by just watching the people walk by. They need a view, and their homes are usually filled with windows and picturesque drawings.

THE MONKEY AT WORK
A Monkey's good memory and his ability to adapt are two of his most prized possessions. He is intelligent and stoic, able to pick new trades up quickly and easily. Monkeys are also able to do all the work in half the time it takes someone else, but will charge you double what someone else would charge. As such, Monkeys generally take occupations in the world of finance, such as banking, stock exchange or accounting.

MONEY AND THE MONKEY
Monkeys are just as good as spending money as they are at making it. They can't really save it because it burns a hole in their pockets. Occasionally though, Monkeys should put a little away today for an emergency tomorrow.

More specifically, I am a "Metal Monkey" THE METAL MONKEY 1920 AND 1980
Persuasive and passionate, this Monkey is a warm person. She is successful due to her innate determination and ambitious nature. In love these Monkeys are just and loyal as well as loving and affectionate.

Lastly, in the process of reading about my mokeyness I found what Monkey's dislike and completely embarrassed myself by laughing out loud in the very silent coffee shop where I am currently writing... why laugh, you ask? This could not be more true!!!
Monkeys Dislike: Being told to be quiet, not being the most popular, people who don't like their jokes.
I am pretty sure these three things in combination have been the cause of almost every one of my prior work or school conflicts - as well as past relationships ending! If only we had all known.......

Pieces to the Puzzle

Mon, 11 Jan 2010 21:31:43 +0800

Time has absolutely flown by since Christmas. I don't know what happened - I blinked and it was already almost the middle of January, and the only reason why I noticed was it was 01-10-10 which I thought was a cool date. The good news is I got through another Christmas abroad, fairly unscathed - the bad news is I have final exams coming, a ton of Orang Orang to catch up on, and have managed to have almost 5% of my year already gone in a blink. This enjoying life thing is hard work, you know. And it is likely the main cause for this recent passing of time by in a blurry bolt of light and sound, delicious food and good friends.

I think it is fair to say that it is not every day I run into another human being that I like; let alone that I want to spend more time with; let alone that I want to try to spend as much time with as possible. Last week, I came across three people like this - and they were all together! So, I had the pure pleasure of bringing the other few people I love here together with them to share my current passion and obsession: Chinese culture and language - in my home, Beijing.

"The Swedish Trio", as I promptly called them in my phone's Contact List arrived in Beijing not long after Christmas, and in good time before New Years. The next week is literally a stream of joy. And in the midst of our enjoyment (which of course involved a lot of BiJiu), I was a little surprised by the knowledge I have acquired over the 25 months i have lived here. The Swedish Trio are all very smart, observant kids; and the questions they asked within their first 24 hours made me want to write this blog. You may not truly get to experience China without coming here; but if you plan to come, maybe a few of the next questions/answers will prepare you a bit.

The trio and I went to the great wall, of course, and I got to experience it with snow for the first time. So I will share some of my pics from that day whilst quickly answering some of their good questions.

What can you get in trouble for?
Nothing if you have white skin and/or look foreign. Peeing in the street, smoking in small enclosed public areas, drinking anywhere, driving you and your wife and three kids on the back of a motorbike without helmets, dragging your wife down the road by her hair, etc...they all fly. Drugs are likely the only thing a foreigner would get into serious trouble with - and that is only really localized to Beijing and Hong Kong.

What do you do if you're lost?
Jump up and down and cry to the nearest young person. If that doesn't work, get out your hotel's business card and point at it while looking at the taxi driver with big puppy dog eyes. Don't leave your hotel without one or two of those business cards.

What do you do in a taxi?
Do not jump up and down and wave your hands. Driving is dangerous enough here as it is. Get the taxi to call your hotel or a friend if there is a problem. Make sure the second you get in they put the meter down. Do not try to bargain. You will lose. They know the word for police - a single mention of that word will solve any problem.

What do you need to worry about?
Stealing of phones and other small electronics might be an issue in jam-packed subways and especially on trains. But all in all feel free to walk alone at night in dark alleys; eat unidentifiable foods; and act like you were born in a barn. The locals will likely tell you that you are being too polite. In addition, see below:

Why do they try to scam us? bargaining and cheating?
Because we have a lot more money than they do. Be grateful. Also, a few thousand years of Confucism would have you believing stealing and lying is ok too.

Why do people stare so much?
They're mothers never told them how rude it is.

Why do people spit so much?
Their mother's never told them how it makes other people around them sick.

What are they saying?
Wow look at that tall foreigner, he's so tall! Wow look how blonde his hair is, so blonde! Wow look how tall her nose is, she is so stylish and beautiful...Then when they get bored of that the next thing is usually, "Hey, you want to see my new phone?" or "how much did you pay for that?".

The pollution isn't too bad, eh?
Nope, not at all. It was much worse in 2007 when I arrived but Chinese people are changing and adapting faster and faster and now they know the sky can appear blue so are starting to make smarter choices as well as demand regulations from their government. Having said that, some days are better than others and some cities are certainly better than others too.

Why do the dudes have long finger nails?
Both long finger nails and white skin colour tell other people "I am not a farmer" and therefore they are supposed to mean they are at a higher level in society or something to the effect of 'white collar'. Of course the long pinky nail is great for getting those tough to reach spots too.

Can we eat that street food?
If a billion Chinese people do something every day, it can't be all that bad for us.

What do I say when I need to go to the washroom?
Do not put your hand like a WC as they will automatically assume you want three more beers (you are with the Canadian alcoholic, afterall). Say "W.C." and hold up toilet paper. PS, bring toilet paper everywhere you go.

Suffice it to say, my knowledge of this land is far from impressive. The China that China allows the world to see is the outer layer of a billion layered onion. The answers to some of these questions might allow the outsider to delve into a second layer, which one who has not been to China might not have access to. But along the road of bargain hunting, street food eating and Chinese opera watching, we also talked about a third layer. Some of the topics included family planning (the one child policy), laws, racism, foot binding and the role and expectations of women, history, politics, colours of buildings, crazy hidden meanings and symbolism in everything, and religion. During these more serious and slightly less practical chats, I was constantly coming back to the give-and-take of how I perceive this place as an outsider and how my teachers and friends see their home.

Namely, Chinese people blame all their worries and problems on the large population. Everything in their mind boils down to the fact that China's population is too big: so there is a lot of 'eating bitterness'; people need to work harder; wages are lower; lines are longer; 'competition is fierce'. And from what I have heard many North American's say, the large majority of China's challenges are due to their Communist government.

But I don't and I know a lot of other Westerners don't see it that simply. Yeah the large population causes of a lot of day to day conflict and annoyance. But the real stuff - the big stuff - in my mind all starts back 5000 years ago. I don't want to put you to sleep but I recommend one day asking me, if you are interested. For now I will leave you with an old Chinese folk tale.

井底之蛙，所见不广

一口废井里住着一只青蛙。有一天青蛙在井边碰上了一只从海里来的大龟。

青蛙就对海龟夸口说： "你看，我住在这里多快乐！那些虾和蝌蚪，谁也此不上我。我是这个井里的主人，在这里快活无比。你为什么不到井里来游玩下呢！" 那海龟听了青蛙的话，倒真想进去看看。但它的脚被绊住了。它犹豫了一下，把大海的情形告诉青蛙说:"你看过海吗？海的广大，哪止千里；海的深度，哪止千来丈。住在那样的大海里，才是真的快乐呢！" 井蛙听了海龟的一番话，吃惊地呆在那里，心里想："我和大海比起来真是太渺小了。"

The Frog in the Well

Once upon a time, there was a frog who lived in a shallow well. He said to a big turtle from the East Sea, "I am so happy! I look around at the crabs and tadpoles, and none of them can compare with me. Moreover, I am the lord of this well and enjoy all the joys of life here. My dear lady, why don't you come in to visit my place?" The big turtle wanted to take a look. However, her leg froze as she was about to stretch over the lip of the well. She hesitated a while and told the frog about the East Sea.

"A distance of a thousand Li is very long, but it is not enough to show how wide the sea is. A depth of seven Li is profound, but it is not enough to show how deep the sea is. The greatest happiness is to live in the East Sea." After listening to these words, the frog in the well was shocked: "How tiny I am beside the vast sea."

A frog who lived in a well all his life never knew what the real body of waters was until a sea turtle told him about it.......

Nnnnorthern Chchchcina in the Wwwwinter

Thu, 17 Dec 2009 14:33:01 +0800

It's hard to believe that my last post had a pic of me in a tank top. Ah the good old days way back in October. Alas, the weather has quickly changed, and in some sick twist of fate, it is already December. It is COLD here and doesn't get light until 7am! But I'll tell ya, the Northern Chinese people and the frozen cities within which they live sure know how to roll with the cold. In fact, I feel much more of a kinship with these "DongBeiRen" 东北人 in a lot of ways because of this...this what? this ability to survive inhospitable environments, I guess. Also, I think people who come from very cold climates have an innate desire to care for and look out for others' needs, as well as plan ahead - more so than people from climates that don't necessarily require planning for no fresh food for months or needing to brave -20C to go get water.

Over the last bit, to no surprise, I've made a few new drinking buddies and been to a few new cities. Nothing earth shattering but distracting-in-a-good-way nonetheless; and therefore, reportable. Maybe it is just me and my perception, but it seems like in Northern climates, people become much more dependent on two very wonderful things: friends and booze. Northern China is no exception, and the locals as well as foreigners have taken a liking to calling me 加拿大酒鬼 which could be loosely translated as "that crazy Canadian girl who can really drink!" What can I say? I like friends; I like drinking; and it just so happens that I really, really like drinking with friends. A few more memorable events over the last months are as follows:

Over a month ago I went to HohHot (Inner Mongolia) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hohhot to work and had the pleasure of staying with Jason (from waaaaay back -see sept/oct 2007 blogs) and meet his wonderful woman and a few other friends. In true Canadian (or maybe it is just Jason and I) fashion, we bought a bottle of local spirits (60% alc.) put our jackets on, and took a motorbike ride up into the famous Mongolian Hills for a freeeezing cold and extremely beautiful high altitude adventure.

Yes, I very likely stepped on the same ground as Genghis Khan; but more importantly, I ate sweet cheese candy and drank salty milk tea from his family's store. Having said that, don't they say that something like over 40% of the world is a descendant from him? And therefore you all likely also drink tea and eat cheese from his family's store...so maybe my drinking his family's tea or eating his family's cheese is not a big deal. But all the same I felt it worth reporting.

I have been to ChangChun (Jilin province) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Changchun three times in the last month - both for work and because The Baller is back in town. When I've been there recently I tend to work on improving my translating, interpreting, stretching, taping, massaging and listening skills among others. Always learning and improving -the purpose of life, right? Now whether the material that is being learned is useful or needed is up to the perception of those involved. I tend to argue that all learning is useful. And I digress.

Back in Beijing, enough time has passed where I really feel like some acquaintances are becoming real friends. Seb (my desk-mate and morning sanity, pictured below) and Jasmine (my sounding board and evening sanity, pictured above) are turning out to be very special characters in my story here. Having said that Seb is leaving (congrats on the new job though, dude!) and my favorite teacher just left, so class is looking pretty glum come next week.

Lastly, I read a great book by Paul Coelho this weekend called Brida. Can I just ask you to take a moment right now and manifest me for two things: 1. My soul mate 2. Acceptance to do my PHD. It'll only take a brief moment of your time, thanks.

恩，想起来了，我最近写了一首故事应为这个月我们的学校组建一个写信比赛。下面是我的诗歌。意思是一我看我们多有很多问题，我们都吃有点儿苦。在中国我看到了很多穷人也每天能看副人。在外国我还看到了很多教育人也很多经验专家。他们都想爱，都怕，多饿，渴，寂寞。。。不是所有的穷人都要钱。不是所有的富人都能休息。

一千痛一千悰；一千罹一千禧

映

    我叫小费，明天十八岁。我高高的个子，白白的皮肤，大大的眼睛。我的头发漆黑漆黑的，很长。每天我上十个小时课。我的老师不喜欢我, 尽管我学得很努力，但是他们都批评我很多。在学校我不能笑。我讨厌学校。
    今天我不能吃东西，无论如何要减肥，好女生都苗条。可能明天我会吃点儿。
我爱运动却不能，而且也没有时间，如果我有空，我应该学习。并且爸爸说过，运动会让我肌肉发达。男生不喜欢女生肌肉发达。
    我想做保姆，但是不可能。我的爸爸说我应该做大夫。我不想让他失望。
    我没有朋友，没有时间。爸爸说我有很多朋友，但是他们都只是同学。我的老公以后是最好的朋友。可能他说的对。
    我不想要孩子。但是我知道我得像传统的中国女生，社会告诉了我，我不可能改变。我害怕，孩子会带给我痛苦，没有自由。我没有办法。
    听说我是从安徽来的，那里我有一个姐妹。但是爸爸说我们之间的区别怎么这么大。他说我们和她不可能见面。可是我想去安徽，见我的姐妹一面，这是我唯一的生日愿望。我们必有相似，这一定是个奇迹。

    我叫小费，明天十八岁。我个子不太高，皮肤有点儿黑，眼睛也有些呆。我的头发很短，正灰色的。我的老师说我不能说："正灰色"，但是他同意，我的头发里有很多灰，他听得懂我的意思，然后他告诉我，我很聪明。我每个星期上十个小时课。在学校我跟朋友常常笑得很多。我爱学习。
    今天我不能吃饭，在县里最近生了小儿子，我们都把自己的米饭给他。可能明天我能有饭吃。
    我爱运动却不能，而且也没有时间，如果我有空，我应该帮妈妈工作。并且妈妈说今年他要给我买鞋。买了鞋我就能多运动！
    我想做保姆，但是不可能。我的妈妈说我应该马上结婚。我不想让她失望。
我没有朋友，没有时间。妈妈说朋友没有用，帮她工作有用。我的老公以后是最好的朋友。可能她说的对。
    我不要孩子，但是我知道我得像传统的中国女生，生儿子让我有用。社会告诉了我，我不可能改变。我害怕，孩子带给我痛苦，没有自由。我没有办法。
    听说我是关东来的，在那儿我有一个姐妹。但是妈妈说我们怎么怎么不一样。她说我们和她不可能见面。可是我想去关东，见我的姐妹一面，这是我唯一的生日愿望。我们有区别，但这一定是个奇迹。

梅如
十号，十二月，二零零九年